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All in Marriage/Relationships
There is a movement among women today. Moms everywhere are opening up, being real, and sharing about the sanctifying side of motherhood. The side of motherhood where our sinful nature is revealed and where by we are humbled and brought to a new realization of how unworthy we are of God’s grace, yet how overwhelmingly grateful we are for it at the same time.
None of us are immune from being tempted by the enemy’s lies about who we are.
His answer caught me a bit by surprise. "I would love it if you just hugged me...longer."
In a season of difficult decisions and busy schedules, I had asked my husband, "What can I DO to help you?" I wanted to make phone calls, create to-do lists...take things off his plate. I longed to right the wrongs and fix things. Well aware of all that had to be done in the day to day, I rarely paused for long displays of affection; I was too efficient for hugs.
I was sitting in a hotel room on a king-sized bed at a conference.
I was sitting there alone, not minding being alone, wishing that I missed him.
Wishing I missed the man I’d been married to for eleven years and forgetting what the touch of his hand felt like. His calloused, farm-boy hand, the one that found me across the duvet those three years I relapsed into anorexia and sleeping pills, the one which fed me ice chips as I birthed two miracle boys, the one which always gave me the first strawberry of the season from our garden.
And I crawled onto the king-sized mattress then, stretched out across the miles of bed and cried.
Maybe it’s just my house, but 2015 has started with quite a bit more conflict than I would like to admit. Conflict between adults, conflict between siblings, conflict between parents and children. I’ve had ample opportunity to consider what is truly happening when we, in family, fight.
When my kids argue, I tend to draw the quickest line from bickering to judicial resolution. I’m quick to call order with the gavel, and solve the issue with a definitive redistribution of toys, separation of offenders, and a call to cease and desist. Everyone has an explanation for why there’s conflict, and the reason is never themselves.
Have you ever noticed: When we ask our kids what the problem is, in the midst of conflict, no one ever says, “The problem in this situation is my selfish pride.” It’s not so different from conflict between parents either. After all, my kids are learning how to handle conflict by watching me.
You're not the only mom that feels like screaming today.
You're not the only one holding back frustration's tears.
No, there are many whose gaze falls on cracker crumbs, unfolded clothes, crusty dishes, and needy little faces, feeling despair's crushing weight. "It's only getting worse," the voice inside tells them. "You're failing. There's no way off this life-sucking treadmill."
But you, my sister, are not past hope.
They say that the longer two people are married, the more they begin to look like one another. They complete each other’s sentences and can order for their spouse at a restaurant. They know when the thermostat is set too high or too low for the other, and they can tell who the other is speaking to, simply by how he answers the phone.
And yet with all that is comfortable, assumed, predictable, and known between a husband and a wife, we often overlook six simple words we so easily offer to others:
How can I pray for you?
Though I can’t relate to my husband and I growing in likeness, I do realize how much 16 years has knit our hearts to one another and melded our goals and desires. Yet, have you ever heard your spouse share a prayer request to others in a way that surprised you? I have.
