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Six Words My Husband Needs To Hear

They say that the longer two people are married, the more they begin to look like one another. They complete each other’s sentences and can order for their spouse at a restaurant. They know when the thermostat is set too high or too low for the other, and they can tell who the other is speaking to, simply by how he answers the phone.

And yet with all that is comfortable, assumed, predictable, and known between a husband and a wife, we often overlook six simple words we so easily offer to others:

How can I pray for you?

Though I can’t relate to my husband and I growing in likeness, I do realize how much 16 years has knit our hearts to one another and melded our goals and desires. Yet, have you ever heard your spouse share a prayer request to others in a way that surprised you? I have.

Perhaps we assume that because we are intimately acquainted with the circumstances and concerns that permeate our spouse’s life, we know what to pray for and need not ask. But, friends, prayer is not about describing circumstances; our Father already knows. Prayer is aboutus aligning our hearts to the heart of God, and recognizing His sovereignty and faithfulness in doing so. Prayer is sanctifying. And so, we ought to pray for our spouse, but more specifically, know where his heart is at that we might ask the Lord to align it closer to his will.

We may be able to deliver a prayer requesting for answers or a prayer describing circumstances, but we will not know how to pray for another’s heart unless we ask the condition it’s in.

Today, I look over as my husband drives, and I know his mind is churning on a million things. Or perhaps he’s so overwhelmed, he’s thinking on nothing at all. We are parents of littles, and the time in the car is precious if there is but a moment to carry on a conversation between the bickering and spills, crying and questions in the backseat. I have all sorts of burning questions: What are our plans for Thanksgiving? When we will begin that home improvement project? Where are we at with the budget? But, I’m learning there may be better questions to ask first. One in particular…

Honey, how can I pray for you?

Six words that let him know that I want to be intentional. 

Six words that remind him that our strongest tie is our bond in Christ.

Six words that show him I'm battling for him on my knees.

…because I may know how he takes his coffee and what size he wears at every store in town, but when it comes to his heart, I won't assume...I want to hear it from him.

Because of grace,



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