New Year, New Inner Monologue!
I love my life. I really do. I have the life of my dreams, and by that I mean, the one I envisioned all those years playing with Barbie jeeps and as a pretend librarian (I didn't say they were particularly cool dreams - ha). I am a mom of three wonderful little ones, I have a wonderful husband, I write on the side, I'm even publishing a book soon!
All this to say - this is the life I have wanted, that should be deeply satisfying to me.
As I was taking out the trash this week (kind of throwing a pity party because that job is really my husband's, and I have so much to do, and poor me) - all of a sudden it hit me.
I need a new inner monologue.
I need one that matches the gratitude and joy I really do feel towards my life.
I suddenly felt very ashamed of the "talking" that goes on inside my head. Maybe you can relate. It usually goes something like this:
- My life is hard today.
- No one understands how hard I work.
- No one appreciates what I do.
- I never get to rest.
- I deserve to get away and have a break.
- I am always the one who takes care of everything.
- If they only knew, they would feel bad for me.
- Everyone else has an easier life.
I am not saying it is good to stuff or stifle our frustrations. Mom Life is full of hard work, sacrifices, and disappointment, and it is good to have people with whom to process your discouragement.
But what I realized (repented of) is that a steady diet of pessimism, a constant intake of negative, chronic "poor me" self-talk does not help. It only hurts.
We need to teach our minds to be grateful.
We need to speak to ourselves and not just listen to ourselves.
Need some suggestions? Instead of stoking the fire of self-pity, here are a few NEW things to say to yourself.
- I am so blessed to be a mom.
- I wonder who else is having a difficult day?
- I am blessed to take care of my family.
- I am doing good work.
- The Lord sees what I do, and He will take care of me.
You get the idea? It is a two-part solution:
- Catch yourself when you are miring in the negative thoughts.
- Try to say something positive to yourself.
I fully realize this has a hint of "Pollyanna" to it, but just try it for one second, will you? Stop right now and say something silly and grateful in your head. When I try it, I literally feel my body un-tense, relax, and lighten.
Almost like the One Who Made Us, knows best.
Almost like we relax when we release and rejoice.
I'm re-writing my inner monologue in 2018. Join me?
Jessica Smartt, "Smartter" Each Day
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