Just when I think my life has balance and my children are actually turning out somewhat decent, I blink and we are in a more challenging season.When my oldest is finally becoming more independent, his mouth is also figuring out new ways to announce his independence. And I find myself staring down at a five-year-old that thinks he can run the world. While he is running the world I find myself trapped in the middle of a food flying contest. Rice and beans become my new wall decor. My two little ones have discovered the joy of having a partner in crime. I’ve yelled! I’ve cried. I’ve pulled my hair. And they carry on while finding great pleasure in watching a grown woman trying to pull the hair out of her own head. The partners in crime mimick my hair pulling stress relief tactic, except they’ve added a thin layer of beans to their method.

The moment I realize that I am living in what feels like a mad house, I am overwhelmed with frustration and guilt. I feel like all I do is spin in circles, and step on legos, and wear mismatching socks.

Somehow, in the midst of the hair pulling and bean throwing, I realize that God has not been my source for a balanced home.

What does balance look like God? Does it even exist when children are involved? I carry on a conversation with God while I stir a pot of hot oatmeal. I feel hopeless. Like I’ve lost all control. I’ve forgotten to train my kids to fall in love with Jesus, but instead, I’m teaching them to fall in love with a clean house. Fall in love with rules. Fall in love with my idea of balance.

Who cares?! I begin to give myself a pep talk about what really matters. What God cares about is the heart of my children. They are more important than matching socks and folded laundry.

Sometimes I forget that teaching my children to love God and his word is the most important thing in my day. So I ask God to help me remember what is more important. When my children are grown, will I care about how clean my house was while they were little? Or will I care about how they love God because I took the time to teach them while they were young. I stop what I’m doing. I listen. I slow down. They will always be the most important thing. If my house looks like a mess, or I’m late to appointments, and balance isn't looking so balanced, It’s probably because I’m taking the time to teach my children the most important thing in life. To love their Creator.