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Keep Anger Under Control

A couple of months ago I wrote about a soft answer verses a harsh word and it got me thinking. Based on the response received, I concluded that this is a real issue with many moms. I believe that anger can be extremely destructive for relationships when not managed appropriately. But is anger a sin? No. Based on Ephesians 4:26, it is not. Anger is an emotion that sets off a signal that something needs to be addressed. But anger can be a dangerous trigger when we begin to aim it at others, and release the bullet on them. It can cause deep wounds, permanent scars, and be potentially fatal for the soul of a child--whether now, or later in life.

Aiming anger as a weapon to make a point or show authority is an inappropriate use of this emotion and should be addressed promptly.

I'll be the first to admit, I get frustrated. I yell. I use the volume of my voice to get my point across. And never have I felt good about it. 

That's why I feel like I can talk about this. Because I've been there and I see the effects first hand. I did not grow up in a home with an angry father or other family member. I am just a simple mom who struggles with patience and self-control in this area.

So why do I continue to do it? Because it's so easy to do.

So, rather than using anger as a weapon, let's use it as a tool.

When you feel the anger rise:

  1. Stop to address the real issue at hand. Is it a matter of frustration from repeating yourself over and over again? Was it a matter of fear that caused an angry reaction {your child put him/herself in a potentially dangerous situation}? Do your children's high emotions trigger yours? Take the time to discipline rather than act out of anger. Then these issues will minimize and peace will be restored.
  2. Address your reason for getting angry. At times our frustrations stem from simple selfishness. We have an agenda, a goal to meet, a time frame to keep. We get frustrated and act out of anger because things aren't going as smoothly as we want and our children are "messing up" our plans. This is a heart issue you we need to address with the Lord.
  3. Address the stress. Whether it's in your life or in your child's, think about what might be causing stress and ways you can help relieve that. If your child is stressed, decide together what might help them cope. Even young children can be stressed without being aware of it's definition.

Instead of resorting to harshness and yelling to solve the problem, use anger as a flag to enter into a healthy correction routine. Armed with a specific strategy to implement in a frustrating situation , you'll be less likely to respond to the problem with harshness.

Good and Angry, Scott Turansky & Joanne Miller

At times anger has more underlying issues that must be dealt with. If it's an issue of the past, it may be time to face it head on and allow God to heal you.

If it's a matter of self-control, it might take some intentional training to learn better ways to release frustrations.

Whatever the case, I encourage you to address the issues and not ignore them.

What are some ways you have found to help you remain controlled when you get angry?

By Christin, Joyful Mothering

Image: graur razvan ionut /
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