5 Ways to Fall Back in Love With Your Husband

I was sitting in a hotel room on a king-sized bed at a conference.

I was sitting there alone, not minding being alone, wishing that I missed him.

Wishing I missed the man I’d been married to for eleven years and forgetting what the touch of his hand felt like. His calloused, farm-boy hand, the one that found me across the duvet those three years I relapsed into anorexia and sleeping pills, the one which fed me ice chips as I birthed two miracle boys, the one which always gave me the first strawberry of the season from our garden.

And I crawled onto the king-sized mattress then, stretched out across the miles of bed and cried.

When Mom Struggles With Unforgiveness

I remember growing up and watching the tumultuous relationship my mom had with my grandmother. It was the type of thing that would have my head in a tail spin - watching two women whom I loved and both loved me dearly - treat one another so poorly. When I was young, I had no idea what the problem was. But by the time I turned 8 or so, I had figured out where all that ugly was coming from: unforgivenessI was certain at a very young age that I didn't want to have that type of relationship - or rather lack thereof - with my children.

The humidity hung on my shirt, sticky and dense. I felt heavy trying to take in a breath as my cab whizzed through Queens and into Manhattan, taking me home after a summer spent in my heart's home: the beautiful mountains of the Pacific Northwest, full of glacier lakes and lush beauty. Back in the city, all I could see was grime. Trash piled high on sidewalks, crumbling concrete, dull paint. I closed my eyes and cringed as my children called out that they spotted the Chrystler Building, now The Empire State's tip, and the Freedom Tower beyond. What were were doing here? Why were we forsaking beauty and nature and wide open spaces? Even as they celebrated the familiar scene of a city that was home for them, all I could see was grey and bleak.