When You Want to Change But You Don't Know How
The words flew out of my mouth like lightning piercing the night sky. With muscles tightly wound, I found myself grappling with an ever-so-familiar weakness. These words of mine, loud and unsteady, wounding those I love. My body felt heavy, aching from sin's curse. The weight of my actions, resounding in my mind.
How long must I struggle?
HOW LONG must I struggle with my unyielding weakness?
“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” (Romans 7:15, NIV)
The struggle is real, and for me, it's my words spoken in anger.
I'm grasping for change, and it's elusive, often seeming unobtainable. I pray. I post Scripture verses on my mirrors, and yet, my fleshly tendencies sway me elsewhere. It's a constant battle.
Can you relate?
We are all plagued by sin, with some areas more dark and strong than we'd like to admit. Life is messy, and we are wrestling with areas of weakness the enemy would love to have control over. If we were just like everybody else in the world, we'd patch up our messes and call it good. We'd strive to put ourselves together in a nice package, appealing on the outside, but rotten within.
But you know what?
We're not just like everybody else in the world. God saved us from a life of despair. He redeemed us from a life of sin, so we can have life to the fullest, (John 10:10). And we all yearn for him and hope for change because we recognize the true filth we are.
Change is never easy though. Unlike the world, God wants to do more than just patch up our messes. He wants to change the deepest parts of our beings. The kind of areas we live with for years and somehow convince ourselves they are a part of who we are. God calls us out of these unmanageable depths. He speaks truth where there are lies. He urges us to wrestle with these strongholds in prayer, and promises a way out, (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Maybe today you are struggling with a decade-old weakness. You pray and try, but you find yourself on your knees, bowed down before our gracious King in repentance—again.
Can I just say?
You are not alone.
Keep pressing on. One day you will no longer have to fight these all consuming battles. But in the meantime, be encouraged by these three truths:
1) Our battle is not against flesh.
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12, NIV
2) We can have victory over sin.
“For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.” Romans 6:6-7, NIV
3) Change takes times.
“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6, NIV
And remember, God will sanctify us the more we draw near to him. It's a daily choice—choosing to wrestle with these weaknesses instead of patching up pieces, and believing these ever-so-familiar weaknesses will one day turn into a testimony of God's great deliverance.
Sandra Bretschneider enjoys pursuing many adventures together with her husband of ten years. Everyday she lives out the blessed life as "Mommy" to her three daughters and also works per diem as a speech-language pathologist. She founded the online ministry, He Gently Leads You, to encourage mothers to spend consistent time in the Word. Her passion is to use the gifts God gave her to impact people for his kingdom. When she's not writing, you can find her in the kitchen baking or out on a long run. Connect with her at He Gently Leads You.
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