When You Want to Give Up
“I quit! I’m done being a mom!”
The words spilled out of my mouth before I had a chance to catch them. I never intended for my private thoughts to become verbal proclamations. However, I’m not surprised they did, as my heart was in a place of complete exhaustion.
It had been a string of several days where my children exhibited blatant defiance, meltdowns over the littlest of things, and downright disobedience. I was fed up and ready to put up the white flag, resigning my position as a mom.
Have you ever been there? Has your heart been so worn that you too wanted to sign the resignation letter, announcing your departure from motherhood?
I pray I’m not alone in this battle.
On one particularly hard morning, I lost my patience. Tears freely flowed down my cheeks. I didn’t know how much longer I could take it.
As I drove my children to school that morning, our local Christian radio station spoke truth to my hurting soul. The DJ recited 1 Samuel 16:7,
“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
At that moment, I realized the voice on the radio was God speaking truth into my deep hurt. It was as if He was saying, “Angie, I know you are tired and frustrated, but look past their ways, and focus on their hearts. It is there that you will find me at work.”
And so I did. I spent time looking past my children’s behaviors and began examining their hearts. When I did, I saw God and how He has been working in and through them.
I saw how He has been transforming my son’s heart, shaping it to be more honoring and pleasing to His Creator and I saw how God has been using my daughter’s joy to bring love and kindness to many.
The shift was small but significant. But, I had to make an intentional effort to look past my children’s poor choices and see into the depth of their hearts.
I’m so glad I made this intentional shift as it helped me see that while my children hurt me by the actions (or lack of actions) they take, I too hurt my Heavenly Father by choosing my own form of defiance and disobedience.
You see, I’m no different than my children. They need grace for their sinful, outward behaviors and so do I.
I’m so grateful I serve a Heavenly Father that chooses to look past inaction and blatant defiance and chooses instead to see my heart.
Friend, if you too find yourself struggling with the weariness of being a mom and are ready to raise the surrender flag, I pray you take time today to let 1 Samual 16:7 resonate deep into your heart. I also pray that as you do, you take God up on His suggestion and look past the outward appearance of your children’s behaviors, and instead focus on how He is working in their hearts. It is there that you will find Him.
Angie | angienippert.com
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