Three Ways to Mind Your Anger (even when you don't want to!)
How is it possible to go from cupid and hearts straight into March Madness? And no, I’m not talking about the kind of March Madness that includes brackets and basketball (although I wish I was!)
Instead, it’s the anger that sneaks up on you. You know the kind, right? You’re going through your day, maybe feeling like everything is “ok” but then you walk into the kitchen that has been turned upside down and left with a mess and no one in sight to clean it but you.
And then it happens (enter loud voice). “KIDS – GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!” Instead of calmly asking my children to clean up after themselves, I take a moment to stand on my soapbox. Yet, I don’t just stand. I wag my finger, raise my voice, and have a look of disdain on my face. And then I see it. I see how my actions have just cut my kids down a level. I see how I’m teaching them to act out their anger. And I realize once again I’ve just had a major “mom fail”.
It’s so easy to get lost in the moment and react based on our feelings, isn’t it? I’d like to say this has only happened to me once - that I’ve learned from it - but the truth is, God is still working on me in this area. Some days are just hard!
But when I stop to reflect on how merciful God is, I realize that he won’t ever give up on me. And if God won’t give up on this hot mess, why should we stop trying to control our anger with our children?
Please don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying disciplining your children is wrong. Disciplining and yelling are two completely different things! We can still get our point across without hurting our kids in the process.
So how do we catch ourselves when we’re in the moment to help avoid this? Here’s what I do:
- I take a few seconds to breathe deeply and ask myself to look at the moment through God’s eyes. Realizing that because of Jesus’ sacrifice for me, God sees me as blameless and pure, I can’t help but take a step back and look at the situation differently.
- I pray (a lot)! Because in that moment, I don’t really WANT to be calm. I ask for help. And I ask for guidance. And by the time I speak, suddenly my anger has seemed to simmer down.
- I reach for my phone. This may sound silly, but I literally open my bible app on my phone and type in the word “anger” in my search bar. And the verses that pop up before me immediately get my mind focused.
Psalm 86:15 says, “But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.”
And this is what I want to reflect to my children. Stay the course, precious moms! And remember, each day is a new day!
Blessings!
Nikki
P.S. - Of course, I get help from my essential oils too. I literally have lavender, peace and calming, and orange oil out every day because they are so calming. And most of these are in the starter kit! (click here to learn more)
Stay tuned as we'll be addressing anger and ways to conquer it together during our March Madness series this month.
You can also find more encouragement and joy in the journey of motherhood in our book, From Grouchy to Great.
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