We work so hard NOT to be angry as moms, but there is a time we need to show our anger: to benefit our kids.
Reasons why your child needs to see your anger:
- My child needs to know that some things are unacceptable, such as lying, stealing, or unkind words.
- My child needs to know he/she will be defended. My husband often says, “Do not hit my little girl like that,” or “Do not push my little boy.”
- My child needs to see we care about injustice in the world. It's OK to get angry about child abuse or deception and let our kids see it.
If you get angry:
- Make sure it's justified. Do you have a good reason?
- Make sure it's controlled. Using a firm voice with your child is OK. Yelling or using physical outbursts is not.
- Let your child know that Jesus got angry too. He was angry with those who believed they were too good to need him. He was angry at those who used God's house to make money and cheat others.
- Brainstorm IF there is something you can do about injustice. Can you raise money for an organization who is fighting against an unjust cause?
After you get angry, turn to prayer.
- Pray with the child who committed the offense, seeking God's forgiveness.
- Pray with the child who was offended.
- Pray about injustice.
- Pray for compassion.
- Pray that God will give you His heart for the hurting.
- Pray for those who are walking in sin and hurting others.
What your child will learn:
- That everyone makes mistakes.
- That God is willing to forgive.
- That there are many people who need our prayers.
- That we can learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others.
- That we can be angry and maintain control. As Proverbs 29:11 says, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” (NIV)
Final things to be emphasized:
- Anger is a temptation.
- What we do after getting angry can lead to a sin . . . or it can lead to a positive change.
- God doesn't want us to vent our anger.
- We need to make sure that what we're getting mad about is justified.
- Pray and ask God what He wants you to do with your feelings.
What do you think? How has getting angry benefited your kids?
Tricia Goyer, TriciaGoyer.com
For more encouragement, check out From Grouchy to Great: Finding Joy in the Journey of Motherhood. It's a daily devotional with discussion questions to encourage you as a mom. Grab a journal and study through it by yourself, or gather some girlfriends and study together!
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