How We Spend the Time We Have With Our Kids Matters… Here’s why…

This week we are talking about three ways we can partner with God to pass on faith to the next generation.

In our first post, we said that the first step is to understand God’s expectations. A second step to passing on faith to our children is to model the right example. Be sure to read step one and step two before moving on to step three.

Once again we are diving in deep so grab your Bible and your journal and jot some notes down!

Finally, the third step for passing on faith to your kids is to stay engaged with your children.

As a couple transitions from married to married with children, a family’s schedule often becomes more crowded, if not chaotic. Time together, distraction-free becomes increasingly difficult. Especially as kids get older, time becomes more precious. Making matters even more challenging, is the rise of technology. Arlene Pellicane, in her book Calm, Cool, and Connected, points out that “About 94 percent of adults have an HD television and the average adult in the United States spends about 4.5 hours a day watching shows and movies.”

And what we notice in some research, is that families are spending less time together, investing in what matters most – the formation of faith.

In the Parent Adventure, Rodney and Selma Wilson, along with Scott McConnell, outline recent trends in the amount of time families are spending together. Several pieces of research cited in the book are worth mentioning here. They write, “Just 53 percent of families pray together once a month or more, and only 31 percent do any religious devotionals or studies together that often. Yet more than nine out of ten watch television together once a month.”

What is worth pointing out in this research is that not only is there less time families are spending together, but the particular practices that a family is engaged in reveal faith formation as a much lower priority in the family. 

The vast majority of families surveyed in this study indicate the absence of consistent or intentional practices for passing on faith. Practices such as prayer, devotions, worship, service, outreach, etc. The majority of time together is spent in non-religious activities, such as television, or social media, as indicated in the research.

Not only are families spending less time together, but they are also spending less time together doing what matters most in the area of forming faith in their children.

Having looked at Deuteronomy 6 as a foundational passage for a parent’s calling to pass on faith, it is worth noting again that right there in the middle of God’s vision for parents to pass on faith is the word, “talk.”

 We read, “these commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up”(Deuteronomy 6:6-7).

God commands our speech in the spiritual development of our children. Speaking to and with our children is a key ingredient God uses in the process of spiritual growth and maturity.

Talking more may look like transforming the ordinary and mundane activity of driving a child somewhere into an opportunity to communicate. It’s asking God to redeem that time and lead the conversation in a way that serves his purposes. It might look like scheduling regular time together with a child over breakfast or ice cream. Perhaps it’s pursuing a hobby, with the goal of spending more time together. Or maybe it’s just being more intentional with time together at dinner or before bed. However it happens, it is necessary for parents to talk with their kids more, as they spend more time together.

One last comment about the importance of spending time together and talking about what matters most can be illustrated from a recent article by Kara Powell and Steven Argue. In it, they make the point that the biggest hindrance to faith among children and youth is not doubt, but rather, silence.

In their study of over 500 youth group graduates, they note “over 70 percent of churchgoing high schoolers report having serious doubts about faith. Sadly, less than half of those young people shared their doubts and struggles with an adult or friend. Yet these students’ opportunities to express and explore their doubts were actually correlated with greater faith maturity.”

In conclusion, they write, “it’s not doubt that’s toxic to faith; it’s silence.”

Not only when our children are young, but especially as they are growing up, as parents we have to stay engaged! 

Keep talking. 

Praying.

Opening conversations. 

And trusting God, that ultimately, he is in control!

Passing on faith with you,

Patrick and Ruth Schwenk

If you are looking for a simple and meaningful resource to help you pass on faith to your children, we hope you will check out the Faith Forward Family Devotional.

Our brand new resource to help further equip parents called Faith Forward Family Devotional features a Bible passage, teaching that's applicable for kids of any age, key ideas to learn about God and His character, questions to spark family discussion, and a prayer. To grab the Devo you can go to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, ChristianBook.com and anywhere books are sold.

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