3 Ways to Press On When You Feel Like a Mom Fail
Do you feel like a “mom fail”?`
Are you busy evaluating yourself according to your kiddo’s behavior and wondering how you could have screwed up so much? Maybe the choices your teen is making gets the best of you. Maybe it is your daughter’s academic struggle or the way your son keeps his room that leads you to question your mothering abilities.
Whatever it is that causes you to feel like a “mom fail,” you’re not alone.
For example, it was super important to me that my children not be “sassy” in their tone, so if they happened to mouth-off, I’d automatically say, “What have I done to deserve this?” or declare “I must have screwed up somehow!” But the fact is that their behavior isn’t always a reflection on my mothering.
We’re raising human beings not mommy trophies.
They will sin, plain and simple, just like us. That does not mean their behavior does not matter nor that their choices are insignificant. But our kiddos are not put on this planet to make us feel good. Their behavior doesn’t make us any more or less approved by God. Rather, we are commissioned by God to steward the gift of our children. Yes, we’re are still held accountable for our mothering, but we can quit the mom-fail mantra and instead walk in our motherhood calling with grace and truth while considering these three biblical principles to guide our way forward:
Quit the Fear
Are you parenting out of fear? In other words, are you worried about what might happen to your children? What others might say about you? When we parent out of fear, we lose sight of our faith. We forget to pay attention to the One who we should fear and seek for wisdom.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and discipline. Proverbs 1:7 CSBEmbrace the Truth
Are you parenting out of cultural priorities or from a biblical foundation? What is the plumb line for how you’re living your life? Do you know why you’re making the decision for your own lifestyle choices and how that is modeling a pattern of this world for your children? Invite God to transform your thinking according to the Word so that you can align with His purposes.
Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2 CSBGuard Your Heart
It’s the state of your heart that is influencing your mothering because your heart is shaped by your experiences and the influences upon your life. Everything you’ve been through has formed your outlook. Everything you read, watch and listen to impacts your values and perspective. That’s why God calls you to be the one who guards your heart — the seat of your passions, desires, and decisions. If you want to align with God’s purposes in your mothering, you have to give Him access fully to your heart and everything that influences you, asking Him to show you how you need to heal and be transformed according to His truth.
Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life. Proverbs 4:23 CSB
The enemy of God is happy to heap the “mom fail” label upon you and me, binding us up in defeat and keeping us from doing this glorious work of motherhood that God has called us to. The question is, will you continue to live in defeat or will you kneel before the Lord, rend your heart to Him, so that you make live in faith, not fear, and align your life and your mothering with His best?
Because there is more,
Elisa Pulliam
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