When Motherhood Has You Worn and Weary
Her arms swung around me (Ruth), clutching my neck. Leaning in close, almost nose to nose, she declared, “You’re the best mommy in the whole world!” My heart melted like it usually does when my sweet five year old makes such statements. What mom doesn’t love to hear her child declare such love? I breathed a deep sigh and whispered, “Mom loves you sooooo much!” “Me love you too,” she hoarsely whispered back.
I have these exchanges quite often with my children. But this particular time, I had something else going on inside of me as my daughter was so boldly declaring her devotion. I had a heaviness on my heart that she was completely unaware of. What she didn’t know is that deep down I wasn’t feeling like “the best mommy in the whole world.” Instead, I felt like a mess. A big mess.
It had been a very stressful season in my life, and I wasn’t the mom I had been for the last ten years. Through all I was going through, I had let the nagging voices of doubt fill my head, and I began to question whether I really was a good mom at all.
I was tired.
I was feeling worn out.
I was struggling to keep up and keep it all together.
Most days, as soon as I took the last sip of my morning coffee, I was longing for bedtime. I was fully aware that I needed to make a change. As I wrestled through how I “felt,” I kept coming back to the same conclusion over and over again. I knew I needed to make a change.
What I had to come to grips with was glaringly obvious.
That change needed to begin with me.
My guess is that most moms come to this point. We all do at one time or another. What we CHOOSE to do next is pivotal for our life journey.
John 3:30 is my life verse. It has a humbling reminder for us all: “He must become greater, I must become less.”
All I needed was to remember that simple verse and I knew that I was living for the wrong thing entirely. Myself. It is a daily battle to relinquish my will to his. Time and time again I have needed to walk by faith, and not by my feelings. As a mom it is no different. Feeling the heaviness and guilt and believing the lie that I was a bad mom, I stood at a crossroads with a call out to surrender. “He must become greater, I must become less.”
Owning your life has to be a daily, step-by-step surrender to the One who orders and owns your steps. You see, we all have hard times in our lives, trying seasons that can last months, years, or even a lifetime. Not one of us is immune. But there is one thing that we can all do. We can choose how we will face the life we live each and every day. We can choose to own our life.
God has given each of us a unique story and purpose to live out. He is writing a story through us. It is his story, but in grace, he transforms ours to be a part of his. As moms, a huge part of our stories are the lives that we pour into every single day at home.
Will you live that story?
Will you own it and glorify God through it?
What kind of legacy will you leave?
Friend, God wants to set you free from the lies you have believed about motherhood. He wants you to walk in the freedom of His truth that you are the perfectly chosen mother to love and lead your children well.
Walk in that freedom today.
*this post is a modified excerpt from my book Hoodwinked: Ten Myths Moms Believe and Why We All Need to Knock It Off
Does your child's bad choice make you a bad mom? Do you think you have to do everything right or your child will turn out wrong? Are you trapped in the rat race of motherhood and find yourself believing that a good mother can do it all, all at once?
It is time to de-bunk these myths of motherhood that have us feeling "less than" and "not enough". It is time to walk in the freedom of God's word and discover a fresh new vision for the age-old calling of motherhood.
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