Seeing Our Spouse as a Gift From God

Marriages hold many seasons, many ups and downs and sideways curves. What keeps a couple flourishing?  Our outlook and perspective on one thing can dramatically change the way we see and partner with our spouse. Do you know what it is?

Several years ago, we lived in a quaint and modest three-bedroom brick house. Built in the 1920s, it was a beautiful home for its age, but it also had its bumps and bruises. Like anything, time took its toll. But it has, and still, endures.

If you have ever bought anything new, you know it doesn’t take long to develop cracks, rust, dents, dings, and a long list of other imperfections. Whatever is new eventually starts to fall apart.

Marriage is no exception.

I am a pastor’s wife. Being in ministry, we have had the joy of seeing many couples enter into marriage excited and hopeful for their new life together. We love to see God using couples to glorify Him in their marriage and in their family. But like anything else, many marriages that begin well, don’t always continue (or end) well.

There are all sorts of reasons for breakdown in marriage: Everything from something as serious as infidelity, to something as simple as poor communication in the midst of a house full of kids. We are all a work in progress and the most important thing is to keep working. 

Sometimes it helps to take a step back and remember what we promised first and foremost. To love our spouse through good and bad. When life changes. When kids come along. When the hard stuff hits. Through it all.

So, today I want to state what seems obvious, but we so often forget. 

Marriages hold many seasons, many ups and downs and sideways curves. What keeps a couple flourishing?  Our outlook and perspective on one thing can dramatically change the way we see and partner with our spouse. Do you know what it is?

God, not only in grace but also in wisdom, has gifted us with our spouse. When we are challenged by the stresses of life, our spouse might not always seem like God's good, wise and gracious gift to us. But to keep in focus the vision of our marriage as a gift of friendship and companionship from God, we need to value and treat our spouse as our most important relationship.

How different would our marriages be if we consistently saw our spouse as a gift from God to us?

How might our relationship be different if we saw them as a friend instead of a foe when we have to reconcile our differences?

How might our marriage be better if we saw them as one who complements us instead of competes with us when we face difficult challenges?

I want to experience how different my marriage can be when I see Patrick as a precious son of God who reflects more and more of his image and glory. 

Fill in the blank with your hubby's name. ___________ is a precious son of God. God loves him so much. He is a gift from God to me.

Oh, how often I forget that simple truth. Patrick is a precious child of God and he is a gift from God to me.

This sacred bond with intimate companionship and divine purpose is worth every ounce of energy required to hope for and work toward. Marriage will not always be what we expected or dreamed of, but marriage by God's design is good---very good!

Our brand new book, For Better or For Kids offers hope to the couple who promised from the start to be a team, but is feeling worn out, over-extended, and neglected. Throughout the pages couples learn how to fan the flames of intimacy, build a God-centered marriage instead of a Child-centered or Me-centered marriage, explore practical ways to parent together as one team, avoid the dangers of spouse-neglect and self-neglect, effectively communicate in the chaos, and so much more. We wanted to tell you about our marriage and our family and just our real everyday life ---sometimes great, sometimes hard, sometimes hysterical--- because we want you to know you are not alone. 

 You can Grab Your Copy of For Better or For Kids here:

Barnes & Noble


Family Christian

Patrick and I are so very grateful for you...for this amazing community who has rallied and cheered for us as we have launched our very first book together into the world! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED: In this spirit of celebration, we thought it would be appropriate to gift one of you with a celebration of your own! Today we are giving away a $200 gift card as well as a $100 Visa gift card for a little overnight getaway of your own with your hubby!! 


Ruth Schwenk

Ruth Schwenk is the creator of The Better Mom, and along with her husband, the creator of For the Family. She is a pastor’s wife, mom of four energetic kids, a lover of coffee, and dreamer of big dreams. She loves leading, speaking, and blogging. Ruth is the co-author of Hoodwinked: Ten Myths Moms Believe and Why We All Need to Knock It Off and two forthcoming books with Zondervan. A graduate of The Moody Bible Institute, Ruth and her husband have been in full-time local church ministry for over fifteen years.