My Husband Has Seen Me At My Worst

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My husband has seen me at my worst. And I am not talking about physical appearance with sweatpants and a messy bun. I could be wrong, but I think he enjoys me feeling comfortable around him in what I wear.

Anxiety affects our mothering, our hearts, our thoughts....but also our marriages. Does your husband see you struggling? Here's how to reach out, to your man, and to God, to ask for help in times of need.

My worst is much worse. I am talking about the times that I have allowed anxiety to rule in my heart.

Mind racing, shallow breathing, lack of concentration and yet an ability to maintain obsessive attention toward the negative things in life, nervousness, depression, fear...anxiety.

Why do I consider this my worst?

Because anxiety blinds me and keeps me from operating in strength, logic, and self-control. Anxiety motivates me to snap at my husband, not trust him, fear everything and believe the worst about him or any situation I encounter.

Anxiety paralyzes me. And my sweet husband does his best to be patient and encourage me to get to a better place of mind, but his kindness can’t fix me and I think that frustrates him.

I don’t have anxiety all the time, but I did share about the anxiety that came after having my son. It is worth the read: 

How Motherhood Has Changed My Body And My Marriage

The times that I have experienced anxiety, I would say it cripples our marriage. It causes friction. Unwanted friction. That friction, if the anxiety is not addressed, leads to emotional conflict in our relationship. I can’t just make anxiety go away because I don’t want it, and my husband can’t fix it with a word of affirmation.

The only healing I have found in times where anxiety springs up is when I pray and ask God to help me, to heal me, to remove the anxiety far from me. When my soul is wrestling with trust and my mind is being tormented by what-if’s, I go to God and I consider what He has told me through His Word...

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. - John 14:27

Although anxiety can be so strong that you start to believe you are breaking down or full of doubt and inability...the truth is that we have Christ inside of us! We can overcome because He has overcome. We can experience freedom from anxiety because He gives us peace.

I learned that even though my husband has seen me at my worst, when I am honest and open with him about what I am struggling with, he comes along side me to support me and point my heart toward Christ. It requires vulnerability, but the impact is much greater in a positive way than the destruction anxiety can lead to. 

Be willing to let your husband and God see you at your worst and communicate to them what you are going through. Talking about anxiety is the first step to facing it and addressing it at the core.  

Don’t let war rage in your mind or in your heart or in your marriage because of anxiety. Treat it with the powerful Word of God. Memorize these two scriptures and believe Jesus when He says to you that He has given you His peace.

Let not your heart be troubled friend. Find healing and find true peace in Christ. Let Him transform your worst, into beautiful grace and extraordinary trust.

A Prayer For Wives With Anxiety

Dear God,

I lift up wives who struggle with anxiety. Worry and fear hinder our ability to live a joyful, confident life. May Your Holy Spirit help us to be aware of when we are under the burden of anxiety. May Your truthfulness and wisdom guide us through our circumstance and whatever is causing the anxiety to stir. Whether it is finances, health, security, or anything else that may trigger anxiety, I pray that You would intercede. Remind us daily of Your will for our lives. Remind us that this life is only a vapor and that there is not enough time to spend worrying. Holy Spirit divinely inspire us to trust in You more. I lift up marriages to You Lord and ask that these relationships would not be attacked or ruined because of anxiety. Help us receive Your peace in Jesus' name AMEN!

- Jennifer Smith     UnveiledWife.com

Unveiled Wife

Jennifer Smith began UnveiledWife.com, a web-based ministry for wives, in March 2011. She publishes weekly marriage articles including encouragements, devotions, and prayers of the day. She authored The Unveiled Wife, Wife After God, and 31 Prayers For My Husband. Jennifer is devoted to encouraging wives all around the world to develop God-centered marriages. Connect with Jennifer on social media @unveiledwife!