Some days, I just feel set up. I accidentally slept in; precious time with the Lord just flew out the window. My feet barely hit the old farmhouse floor as I feel the rush of a messy day coming on. The kids are already up; not part of the plan. Before the coffee steams into my cup a child is crying, another dear soul is bickering over a toy, and the toddler is unloading the folded laundry from the basket.
I need gigantic helpings of grace along with enormous plops of peace; both are absent on this morning. For my next trick, as I jump to assist my laundry-sorting-toddler with his organizing challenge, I carelessly bash my toe on the oak chair, somehow managing to crack my toenail open. Eternal faces, that all look so much like mine at different stages of life, turn quickly toward the sound of my breath catching.
Breathe momma breathe, just breathe.
I very well feel like I could throw a fit that would meet the requirements of my two-year-old's talents. The cracked bloody nail bed is throbbing out a pulsating taunt: life hurts, life hurts, life hurts.
There are times when I lose my peace. My cool is completely out the window, along with my perfect plans for the day. I’m fighting within myself as these ten sweet eyeballs are waiting for my next move.
“The love of Christ controls me…the love of Christ control me…the love of Christ controls me…”
I don’t feel these words at the moment, but I say them. I eat them, chewing, chewing, forcing them down deep.
“God is love…God is love…God is love…”
As moms, it’s important that we know Who to cling-to during the reality of the messy times in life. We need His strength to meet us where we’re at, to pull us beyond the cracker crumbs stuck to sticky faces. We need all kinds of Holy fire in the kitchen. I want to wave to you today, from my IP address to yours; I've been there too. Jesus will help us both with our cracked nail beds, growing list of imperfections, and the day-in-day-out walking by faith that this motherhood journey requires. It's a refining process, sometimes being cooled, and yes at other times; burns.
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