"Jesus take the wheel!"
That’s all I could think of as my sixteen year old daughter hopped in the driver’s seat for the last leg of our trip home. How could the same child I gave life to now be responsible for the lives of our whole family. It literally took my breath away — such a fresh reminder that live is insanely short.
These beloveds are not mine. They are gifts from God and my role is stewardship, not ownership.
It was a mom blink moment.
I could have missed it in a billion little ways. From worry to fear to fretting to disengaging to regret. Any of those emotions could have dominated the moment and stolen my joy completely. Instead of celebrating this next stage of my daughter becoming an adult, I could so easily be stuck in longing for her to stay little, dependent, and needing my protection just one more day.
I confess that I don't feel ready for her to race into her future. I see the days ahead like a ticking clock, passing faster than time should allow. My time with her in our home feels like it's slipping through my fingers like holding jello in my hands. No matter how much I want to hold tight, it will slip away.
I don't feel ready to let her launch, even though I've been investing all these years for that purpose.
But I’m coming to see that while it sounds sweet to want to hang on, it’s really steeped in selfishness.
I’m not ready because I wish I would have savored each moment with her more fully. I was in such a hurry for her to grow up so that I could get my ‘things” done that I feel like I missed out on treasuring the time we had. Whether it was a middle of the night nursing or few minutes snuggling together when she ought to have been napping. Whether it was my impatience on helping her with homework or my frustration over how long it took her to verbally unpack her school day.
My full plate. My “to do” lists. My dreams. They all robbed me of something I wanted so much more — to enjoy the moments of motherhood and this privilege God had given me to raise children.
Those moments wished away now feel like they disappeared in a blink.
Hindsight really does put life in perspective. You can't help but realize the impact of skewed priorities. And so, here I am, 16 years into my motherhood journey, and I can either live with regret over "what wasn't" or embrace every moment from this point forward.
My motherhood journey is not over, even if the season has changed.
So with the mercy of God pouring rich and wide and deep over my life, I’m committed, once again (yes, I believe it's an ongoing, never finished on this earth process) to yield my life to His purposes.
I’m calling it a mission to live more fully in the Mom Blinks — those moments of motherhood that we're tempted to rush through in the pursuit of something that isn't any better.
I think of this mission in light of what Jesus said about Mary's choice to sit at His feet rather than run around overly distracted and all too busy like her sister Martha (Luke 10:38-42). Mary knew the one thing, the good thing, the portion that was for her in that moment. I so think this easily applies to us, as moms, too.
What's the one thing Jesus is calling us to, besides spending time at His feet?
What are the priorities He is placing before us, rather than pursuing our own agenda?
How does God want us to take hold of the treasures He's entrusted to us, like our children?
I want His priorities to be mine, especially as a savor these last years of motherhood with my oldest and invest purposefully into her younger siblings. So in an effort to be super intentional, I'm embracing a #MOMBlink Mission and wold love to join me in it.
- GIVE THANKS TO GOD
In my prayer journal, I'll be giving God thanks for the times in which I gave time towards whole-hearted interaction with my children.
- CAPTURE THE MOMENT
Since my smart phone is always with me, I'm going to photograph those moments of real life with my kiddos. Some I'll post and tag as #momblink. Others I'll just keep for me.
- ASK for ACCOUNTABILITY
I'm going to ask a few close friends to check in with me every week and see how I'm doing to savor this time with my children.
- GREEN STRING REMINDER
I tend to forget these little convictions from the Lord, so to make this one last, I'm going to tie a green string around my wrist and wear it for 30 days. Why green? Because it reminds me of growth and I want to grow in this area of motherhood.
Whether you join in the #MOMblink mission with as much intentionality or simply strive to make the most of this moment with your children, I pray that you would most of this season of motherhood. May you walk in His grace and embrace His fresh mercies everyday, not only as moms, but as His chosen, holy, and dearly loved daughters.
Because there's more,