3 Ways to Prepare Your Daughter to Live a Rich and Beautiful Life

3 Ways to Prepare Your Daughter to Live a Rich and Beautiful Life

Oh, you must be soooo busy! 

That’s what people often say – with a slight groan – when they learn that I’m the mother of four amazingly active boys.

And it’s true. I am busy. Terribly busy at times.

But you know something?

It’s no less demanding being a mother of four lively girls. In some ways even more challenging than a pack of wiggly, grubby boys.

Oh, they are lovable dears, to be sure. Darling, giggly, charming, determined,  and, well, more complex.

Boys might bounce off the walls, bring home bugs and snakes, but girls . . .

Girls can be complicated.

But now my little girls aren’t so little anymore. Even though we still play and  laugh together, they are well on their way to womanhood and it’s a joy to watch.

So I’ve been thinking about what we’ve learned together over these years.

I’ve been considering what’s equipping them for their future.

And what’s helping prepare our daughters for the rich and beautiful  life God has for them.

Strength

One of our daughters was a screamer.

Whenever she got hurt – she screamed. When she was afraid, she screamed. When she was upset, excited, mad – you guessed it, she screamed. We honestly wondered if we’d find her screaming on her wedding day.

She’s also our intuitive and insightful one and we love that about her. But the girl needed to get a grip in order for anyone to be able to hear all that loveliness down inside her. Not that we wanted to make her tough; we just wanted to make her strong.

Now she often laughs where she used to scream – a much better approach to life, don’t you think? She also boldly shares her love for Christ wherever she goes.

It takes a lot of strength to be a woman.

Serving

If you’re raising a daughter to assume a princess-like attitude (“Like . . . it all revolves around me”), how is this possibly preparing her to be a wife and mother?

Not very helpful, I’m afraid.

I might be queen of my home, but this particular Queen finds she has to scour bathtubs, wipe bottoms, sort massive mounds of laundry, and basically take care of a whole bunch of people.

If you’re grooming your daughter for royalty, she’s likely going to be in for a significant adjustment. With her future in mind, one of the mottos we’re working toward around here is “Service with a smile”.

Being a godly woman involves cheerfully serving others.

Sweetness

Maybe your daughters are naturally sweet, but the girls in our home – including me! –  have had to learn to be nice.

A sharp, biting response. A cat with claws out – who wants to come home to that?

So we’re working on sweetening up and finding it takes practice – and lots of it. When something harsh or snitty slips out, we get to go back and try it again. Often the content isn’t even the problem, it’s the tone we need to change.

A pretty woman turns ugly real fast when she snaps and snarls.

And sweetness makes a woman beautiful.

Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the time to come. ~ Prov. 31:25

So yes, we’re still laughing and having a lot of fun together. With these lively, complicated girls of mine.

And we’re looking forward to the rich life God has in store for them.

Starting right here and right now.

Just beautiful. 

Lisa Jacobson, Club31Women

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Comments

  1. Nancy says

    I struggle with teaching this to my daughter. She is an only, who I try to keep close to God. She is profoundly gifted, and she knows it. At 10, she is very respectful outside of the house and cantors at our church with her daddy, but man, at home, she is snitty with the most condescending tone. I try to teach her that her tone is saying a lot more than the words that she is speaking. It drives my Chinese husband(her daddy) crazy and creates the majority of the issues in our house. I can’t imagine what the teen year will be like if I don’t get through to her. She is my beautiful gift from God, and I hope I can teach her to correctly use the gifts that God has given her.

  2. Charlena says

    What a lovely post Lisa! I love “service with a smile”. I agree that each of us are Queens; my girls think that they are Disney princesses, but I strive to teach my girls to become virtuous women and use the Bible as my guide toward what that looks like…What are your thoughts,about what the Bible says about being a “virtuous woman”?

  3. Tara says

    what a wonderful article, and something I was JUST worrying about yesterday, so I know this was Gods timing. However could you give some practical examples of how to live this how? How did you get your daughter to stop screaming? How do you work on strength with them? This is where I struggle! Thank you.

    • says

      Helping our daughter to stop screaming took time – over a period of years, really. We worked on helping her to calm down and equipping her with words that she could use to corral those strong feelings of hers. She not only needed to learn self-control but – because we didn’t want her to merely “stuff it” – we wanted her to channel her feelings into more a productive expression of words and action. All this took patient time and talking things through (but it did get much better over the years).

      Here are some “practical” ways we did that:
      Pray with her.
      Give her the words to say – and asking her to repeat them/say them for herself. Example: “This situation really frustrates me and I want it to change.” Just identifying her feelings seemed to help her feel stronger.
      Sometimes simply hold her. This particular daughter needed more physical reassurance than some of our others.
      Listen to her. Feeing “heard” helped her to grow strong too.
      Ask her to write out her thoughts/feelings when she got old enough. (She is now a blogger! :)

      I hope this helps!
      Blessings, Lisa

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