How To Be Blessed On Mother’s Day No Matter What

How To Be Blessed On Mother's Day

I’m not proud of it, but it’s true. Mother’s Day had become a stressful holiday. No matter what flowers were purchased, they were never quite extravagant enough. No matter what words were written on a card, it never said all that I wanted to hear. No matter the gift, my family never seemed to know what I thought would celebrate my heart as a mom. I spent the first many years of being a mother wearing my husband out, often ending out a special occasion less than happy, less than grateful.

And, that was because I yearned for something my husband and children could not give. I longed for something they were never designed to fill.

Perhaps like many other menfolk, my sons and husband may or may not have always known the secret to shopping or spoiling a woman. Not many guys are keen on what’s so special about mismatched dishes at Anthropologie, chippy painted furniture at a thrift shop, 30 minutes of someone else scrubbing and moisturizing your face, or a big and full bouquet of peonies.

But, lavish gifts is not what this is about. No amount of pampering, attention, or spoiling can ultimately satisfy a heart that is seeking to be filled with what was not meant to satisfy. Expectations sprout from seeds of belief that we deserve more, better, or greater acknowledgement. Expectations stem from putting too much value on something or some circumstance that was never meant to deliver so much. Expectation is idolatry’s acceptable front-man.

So, how did I begin to really enjoy special occasions and however my men chose to celebrate me? When I decreased and my view of the Almighty increased. It was when I stopped thinking of my motherhood and the sacrifices of a job well done as being so worthy of celebrating, but rather that of the sacrifice of Christ that enables me to answer well a job that is way beyond my worthiness.

Honor is valuable, gifts are loving, and appreciation is a blessing. But at the end of the day, it’s the woman who fears the Lord that receives a true reward. Oh friend, let us always look to the approval of our Savior for all that we strive for in motherhood. May we feel celebrated this Mother’s Day, not by what is said about us or done for us…but what can be said of Him by how we mother well, as unto the Lord.

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:  “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”  Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. (Proverbs 31: 25-31)

Call Her Blessed - GraceLaced

Because of grace,

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Comments

  1. says

    Thanks, Ruth. What a great reminder to keep my heart set on the approval of Above and therefore setting the tone for a beautiful every day. I needed to hear this!

    • says

      Thank you, Evelyn…glad to know that we are being transformed into his likeness day by day, year by year. May he be glorified in our crediting him with anything worth celebrating in our mothering.

  2. Lindsey Freeman says

    Ruth!!! This is just beautiful! So much beautiful truth in these words and so graciously spoken♡♡ What a nudge to my own heart that so often struggles with the “acceptable front- man”. Thank you for the desperately needed loving encouragement;) Praying you have a blessed Mothers Day in Him.

    • says

      Thank you for commenting, Lindsey, and allowing me to encourage you through my broken and redeemed life. Praise the Lord for sanctification! Happy Mother’s Day to you, too!

  3. Lesley says

    WOW this is how I feel about my Mom. Nothing I do is ever good enough on this day and now I AM A MOM AND I don’t want to share my day with her because it will be ruined. My girls and I are going to Walmart, buying all the flowers they want to plant in pots on Mother’s Day. I am 35 and still stressed out about what to get my mother. She is materialistic and I am not. I have a hard time buying a card for her because I have gotten negative feedback from sending her a funny card before. I don’t want to give a gift that gets judged or puts me in the negative financially to make her happy.

    • Cynthia says

      You know what Lesley… You have wounds. Your mother has wounded you with her apparent lack of gratitude and you need to give those wounds to God. Let Him bind them up and heal them, and I promise (so does God, so my promise means nothing) that you will have a new relationship. Forgive your mother for her attitude (obviously in quiet pray with God, not to her face) and ask for healing.

      It’s a continually ongoing process, you’re going to have to keep handing the relationship over to God, but it will get better. My mom was the same and my wounds prevented me from showing God’s love and God’s grace to her… Now that He’s healing my wounds and taking over my relationship with her, it’s never been better. Seriously, never, ever better. I’m actually able to honour her now, and it’s more a blessing to me than it is to her.

      I will pray for you and your mother, and for your relationship to be bound, healed and refreshed.

    • says

      Lesley, I felt this way for years as well, and finally stopped playing the game of appeasing and performing, but rather, to truly do all things unto the Lord–as I would want to be treated. It simplifies things so much…but ultimately, frees us from measuring ourselves against another’s reaction, but only by conviction.

  4. Cynthia says

    “Expectation is idolatry’s acceptable front-man.”

    Ouch! I so badly struggle with this… Even this year, my husband is taking me and our youngest on our second trip to Hawaii, just a few dray after Mother’s Day… And can you believe that I still want to be praised and lifted up as if I’m doing something more noble and more virtuous than every other mother out there. Thank you so much for the reminder, that He must become greater and greater and I must become less and less.

    • says

      Cynthia, I’m so grateful that in Christ, we don’t stand condemned, but acceptable before the Lord…and transformed day by day. Otherwise, we’d all be sunk, as we battle our idols. Enjoy your Hawaii trip and Happy Mother’s Day!

  5. Samantha says

    I have been praying hard about this the last couple of days as this is my first Mother’s Day & I have been trying to let go of expectations of grandeur from my husband. Thank you for this reminder!

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