Using God’s Word to Correct in Your Family

Using God's Word to Correct in Your Family

Reboot.
Or maybe boot camp.
Something of a control-alt-delete sequence is how this parenting class has felt for me.

My husband and his friend have been leading a parenting class at our church.
As couples, we led a similar class about 5 years ago and it’s not that I’d forgotten everything or that any of the material has been actually new.
But it has been a good reminder–
Of what our deepest goals are for our children.

We pray for true heart change and not just outward external obedience.
We want them to know and love the Lord and live for Him.
We desire close relationships and connection with each on of them.
And we need God’s Word to permeate every aspect of our interaction with them.

I’ve been thinking about how easy it is, in the heat of the moment,
when I’m digging half-melted-Disney-princess-plastic-dolls-shoes out of the heater vent for the second time…
To forget that my words, my response, needs to flow from God’s words of grace and it also needs to be rooted in His call to obedience.

His “children obey your parents in the Lord…that it may go well with you” (Eph. 6:1-3) is the foundation for my response, not irritation at the inconvenience.

So, I’ve been thinking about ways to get back to the basics of letting the Bible be the foundation for the discipline and training of our children.

Here are some ways you can start using God’s Word to correct in your family.

1) We need to go back and teach or re-teach biblical foundations.

The everyday talk of biblical concepts comes fairly naturally to both my husband and me, but especially with our youngest, we need to go back to some of the basics of parent/child relationships.

At a time before correction is needed, we need to sit down and explain God’s desire for children to obey their parents.  We need to pull out our Bibles and read through some key verses about correction and training.
A couple of good ones to start with are: Eph. 6: 1-3, Col. 3:20, and Hebrews 12.

We need to redefine obedience.  In our family, our definition is obeying– quickly, completely, and with a good attitude.

2) As a family, we need to memorize verses that will be helpful.

If there is a particular area where we, or our children are struggling, we need to find and memorize Bible verses that apply.
Instead of merely telling our children to “get along” or “stop fighting” we need to let God’s Word speak into our relationships.
Lately we’ve been struggling with self-discipline, so you can find this verse in various places around our house.

2 Tim Collage2

3) We need to use actual verses in correction and training–

Instead of telling our 4-year-old to “stop whining” we need to be prepared to take our children to Phil. 2:14 where God says to “do all things without grumbling or disputing” or to walk our child through the Exodus story where God reprimanded the Israelites for grumbling against the Lord (Exodus 16).

One of the best resources I’ve found to help me quickly find verses is the Child Training Bible.
Over the years, it has also helped me to create my own little symbols that I put next to verses that relate to a particular subject or topic.

Here’s an example from Proverbs where I’ve used “PC” to note any verse that relates to a parent-child relationship and ”HW” to note those that relate to marriage or husband-wife relationships.  The odd scribble-ish-mess-symbol is my attempt at a “fire” which is what I put next to verses that have to do with the tongue or words.
This has just been a helpful way for me to prepare ahead of time so that I can quickly locate a verse when I need to share it with a child (or with myself).

bible verses
4) We need to weave God’s words and truth into everyday life.

Whether it’s watching a movie, checking the weather, reading a book, listening to music, taking a walk, or driving to swim team practice– we need to “talk freely and naturally about God” with our children.

My husband and I both really appreciate John Younts’ book, Everyday Talk, for its emphasis on using “ordinary conversations to show (our) kids the goodness and wisdom of God”.

We need to pray each morning that we will look for and notice opportunities to mesh God’s words in the Bible with moment by moment life.
Even something as simple as cutting open a pear that looks beautiful on the outside, but is rotten within can bear witness to God’s Truth.

pears

5) We need to pray God’s Word for our children.

There are so many resources available to help us pray for our children.  My friend Brooke has a new book specifically about Praying for Boys and this past post from The Better Mom has free printable prayer cards.
I love Jodie Berndt’s book, Praying the Scriptures for Your Children. In the forward to Berndt’s book, Fern Nichols writes:

“I believe the greatest influence a mom can have in the life of her child is through prayer. As she stands in the gap for her beloved child, the Sovereign Lord of heaven and earth hears and answers her prayers…When we pray the promises of God for our children, our faith increases because we are praying back the very words of God.”

It can also be as simple as just picking a passage from God’s Word to start praying this very day.  A great one to start with is Eph. 1: 15-19:

“For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might…”

We know that the Bible is living and active, able to determine motives, correct, and change hearts.
I want to move back towards using God’s Words vs. my own words when it comes to correcting and training our kiddos.

I’d love to hear some of your favorite resources or ways that you have used God’s word in parenting your children.

Love,
Kara at The Chuppies

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Comments

  1. Stefanie says

    This was so helpful! As someone who did not grow up in a Christian home, “training up my children in the Lord” often seems a foreign concept to me. I really desire to point them to heart of Christ in the ways that I parent and want my kids to know God’s word. I have been praying for practical wisdom and guidance and then happened upon this post! Love the Child Training Bible resource, too. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Melissa says

    Thanks so much for this! Although we have been in church several times in our marriage, we never really made the lifestyle changes that we needed to to really be devoted to God. This is something I really want to change now, but it’s hard when you don’t always know how. I love the Child Training Bible that you have linked to & already ordered it!

    • says

      How encouraging your comment is Melissa…and you’re so right…it’s really difficult when you haven’t seen it modeled (and even when you have). I just want to encourage you to find a solid church where some women can come alongside you…and I’m stopping to pray right now that God will bless your desire to pursue this with your husband, for your family. I’m so encouraged by your heart…

      For me, it helped so much to have “older stage moms” to ask…I’m going to pray that for you right now as well. And don’t be afraid to ask them… when I was a new mom with our first baby, I even asked a mom I respected at our church if I could come spend the day with her, just to see what it could maybe look like. I’m sure she thought I was crazy, but it opened the door for so many future conversations :)

      And I cling to God’s promise that He’ll give us wisdom…I need it SO much with these kiddos!
      Thanks for sharing… Love, K

  3. says

    What a great list! I love the idea of writing verses on plates to put around the house (thanks for including that picture). Was there a particular curriculum or book that your husband used to teach the parenting class at your church?

  4. Benjamin-Rebecca Meyer Wipf says

    Are you going through a book in the parenting class? I would like to do that study if it is available. :)

    • says

      We used a mix of different resources…if you scroll down the comment below, I left the link to where I listed most of the resources on my personal blog. Hope that helps! Thanks for taking the time to read and leave a comment… Love, K

    • says

      Not sure if this is “my” Anne-Marie ;)
      Because one of my dearest kindreds is “my Anne-Marie” and she’s one of the main reasons so much of this is one my heart…
      If not– thank you for the kind comment and I love your name because it brings to mind what a true friend is…. “my Anne-Marie” :)

  5. Heather R. says

    Is there a particular bible study that would be easy to facilitate in a one hour Sunday school class for young parents? My husband and I looking to do something like that but need an easy study that can be facilitated by a leader rather than “taught” by a leader. Does that make any sense?

    • says

      I would definitely recommend the Tedd Tripp video series…with someone to help apply the concepts to parenting younger kiddos. Each video lasts about 25-30 min. and there is a discussion guide to go along with them. The only thing I would say is that I remember reading the book and watching the videos when our kiddos were really little and then trying to figure out how to apply with a 1-2 year old. So it’d be helpful to have that on your radar because some of the concepts are easier to picture with a 4-10 year old. But it is a GREAT and very practical series and you can “hear yourself” both good and bad in all the examples he gives in the videos. Totally worth watching and discussing together. Moves away from behavior modification and towards the goal of God changing hearts and how much we ALL need Christ’s love and forgiveness…

      See below the link for some other resources… :)
      Hope this helps….

  6. Amy says

    So very good. I know I (we) need to do this more. I try to read the Child’s Jesus Calling devotional with my 11 yo in the mornings. Another good resource is Wise Words for Moms by Ginger Plowman. It’s an easy flip chart with examples of child’s behavior, then listing questions to ask the child, reproof verses and encouragement verses.

    • says

      I love that flip chart Amy !!! It was so helpful for me when our older kiddos were really little and I find myself going back to it all the time with our youngest. Will have to check out the other book you mentioned…thank you! :)

  7. Jessie says

    I’m not saying this to dispute, it’s an honest question, I was raised in a Very legalistic church, we were mentally beat with TH bible and given verbal abuse if we ever did anything wrong…. I have a lot of resentment because of this and still have a hard time going to church and understanding the true love of God and not the anger, how can I get past this and let my kids see love and not hate and judgement

    • Amy says

      Since no one has answered your question that I can see… my first thought for you is, just ask God to help heal your heart. Anger comes from being hurt. I’m sorry that you were hurt. I will keep you in prayer that you can let God heal your heart. I would pray that God helps you to raise your children in a loving home where you each have a relationship with him. Hugs

    • Christy says

      First, find a church that is less concerned with monitoring how you follow the rules of religion, and more concerned with helping you develop a RELATIONSHIP with Christ (we naturally follow the commandments God has given us out of obedience to Him when we are connected to His love). Then immerse yourself in this church — attend women’s ministry, Sunday school, and surround yourself with a Body that will love on you and be in community with you as you begin to rediscover God and His love.

      Study the New Testament. Study MERCY, FORGIVENESS, COMPASSION. Learn how Jesus loved, and what that looks like, and be like that. Your kids will see this, and want this, and will live by your example.

    • Christy says

      Also, try to spend some time listening to worship music. For many of us, this opens our hearts. I suggest “How He Loves Us” by The David Crowder Band, “Amazing Grace: My Chains Are Gone” by Chris Tomlin, and “Love Song” by Third Day.

      And finally, if you have trouble finding a church, mine has Podcasts and video messages online at http://www.sanctuaryinhim.org. I had the same prior church experience as you. It all changed for me at Sanctuary. This is a good video with which to begin: http://vimeo.com/m/channels/sanctuaryinhim/74124237. Praying your heart can heal from what mankind has wedged between you and God, and that you begin to feel His love over all else right now!

  8. Homemom05 says

    Praying God’s Will for you Son and Praying God’s Will for your daughter are great resources… Thank you so much for this reminder.

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