Take Back Your Emotions

My youngest son has an amazing laugh.

Everyone who hears it smiles big and tells us the same thing, “he’s incredible!” and I nod my head in agreement, because he is. The only problem is that his laugh drives me batty…well, sometimes.

Take Back Your Emotions

Big Laughs in Small Spaces

As a raging introvert, the hardest part about raising two of “those boys” (the ones who are 250% boy?) is the constant “boy noise,” especially when it’s in small spaces. I’m convinced that if we lived on 2+ acres of farm land in the country, their noise wouldn’t be a problem. I could simply scoot them out the door after school and let them be little boys. Unfortunately, we live on less than half an acre right on the outskirts of our city. We have one semi-climbable tree, and neighbors who we think like us in spite of the high decibels coming from our home—but we do not have room for our  boys to run and be as loud as they’d like.

I long for this (LONG for it, I say) kind of life for my boys. I want them to run, fall, scrape their knees, build things from scratch, and learn to “rough it.” And in spite of our close quarters, I do try to stoke their creative little boy fires as much as possible.

However…

My little rough and tumble boys are also fiddlers. Every week we drive almost four hours round trip to take them to violin lessons with the best instructor we can afford, because they have a gift and find great pleasure in playing this instrument. For the first hour or so of the trip, things are usually fine, but just give it enough time and the “big laugh in small spaces phenomenon,” as we’ve come to call it, creeps out and starts to drive mama crazy.

My little guy, who others see as simply amazing, starts to sound like a hyena on crack…or at least it sounds that way to me.

I’ve asked, begged, threatened discipline, explained why it’s so important to me as the driver that he keep it down, pulled over, driven faster, and thought seriously about never getting in another car with this kid for the rest of my life…but nothing works (obviously…he’s six…I have a few more years before I can actually refuse to get in the car with him).

If it were only a matter of time spent in the car, I would probably be OK. But over time, an immediate physical and emotional response started to occur in me at the sound of his laughter whether we were in the car or not, and I found myself completely unable to tolerate his laughter on any level.

Not good.

I was so annoyed by my son’s inability to control the power of his laugh, that I was punishing him for even having one. 

Imagine that…punishing a child for laughing. Possibly one of my finest mothering moments. Most certainly one of the things my son will tell his wife one day to explain why he’s so messed up.

Don’t get me wrong, my son needs to learn how to control himself in confined areas so he doesn’t drive everyone in his life crazy—we’ll keep working on that—but his amazing laugh brought me an opportunity for growth too, and for that, I’m ever so thankful.

How to Take Back Your Emotions

In my eBook, How to Control Your Emotions, So They Don’t Control You: A Mom’s Guide to OvercomingI share another story that illustrates this immediate physical and emotional response. Maybe you can relate?

One particular day, my boys were filled with disobedience and hard hearts. As I sat in my driveway watching them play basketball like crazy men—disrespecting each other, and disrespecting our neighbor’s basketball goal—I felt my emotions begin to run away. I started off embarrassed by their behavior. Then I got mad because it was what seemed like the millionth time I had asked them to obey with no apparent response. Anger moved into frustration because sometimes it just feels like nothing ever changes around here. Frustration led to feeling completely overwhelmed by my own inability to change their hearts. And finally, feeling overwhelmed moved to straight hopelessness and a desire to just. give. up. In a matter of about two minutes I went from 0 to 10 on the emoto-meter (you know, the one that measures when mama’s going to snap??), and ended the day feeling like a total failure as a mom.

Clearly, I have a pattern of letting my emotions run away from me. 

Because we struggled so much to gain control of our son’s amazing laugh, I couldn’t even hear him be happy without wanting to explode. But just because I want to explode doesn’t mean I have to. With God’s help, I can control my emotions instead of letting them control me, and re-train myself to take delight in the laughter of my own child.

So can you. 

In How to Control Your Emotions, I outline a clear, step-by-step process for submitting your emotions to the authority of the Word of God. It’s a short, practical, highly usable, biblical resource that equips you with information you can put into place Right. Now. to start seeing a difference in your heart.

qHow to Control Your Emotions by Brooke McGlothlin

Because our series this month at The Better Mom is all about going from grouchy to great, we thought it would be fun to give away five PDF copies of How to Control Your Emotions. Just leave a comment below sharing one way you struggle to control your emotions in this area to enter!

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Brooke McGlothlin is co-founder of Raising Boys Ministries (the MOB Society) and author of the newly released Praying for Boys: Asking God for the Things They Need Most.

This post is part of the month-long challenge From Grouchy…To Great.  Please check the series page for all of the posts! 

From Grouchy…To Great

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  • Ruth Demers

    I can so relate to this post. My 6 year old boy who for so long was calm and quiet, is coming out of his shell. And to make matters harder for him, he is surrounded by girls, and his finally baby brother is 6 years younger than he. I can see that he is desperate to get out and do boy things, and his pent up energy is getting the better of him…yet when I offer to take him out to ride his bike, he gets the lazy bug. “no, I don’t wanna!” I find myself getting more and more annoyed, and frustrated with what I am realizing is normal boy behavior (sounds). I know that he needs to learn self control, and by many standards he is still fairly calm. But it is hard for me to try to not contain the boy spirit (and noises!)

  • Su

    Wow, just one example? I feel the emotions starting when my kids ignore me. No one answers/acknowledges/responds/etc. They just ignore me. Next, they argue… I wake up praying that God will give me the ability to use my patience and self-control. It’s like the Bible says(I don’t know where) that these things I don’t want to do, I do. The things I want to do, I don’t….like snapping. Then, I have a huge dose of “Mommy Guilt” if I raise my voice. Even though it was raising my voice that finally got my children to hear me. Boy, I need help and prayer. thx

  • Janelle Hofstetter

    “In a matter of about two minutes I went from 0 to 10 on the emoto-meter (you know, the one that measures when mama’s going to snap??), and ended the day feeling like a total failure as a mom.”

    That.

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  • Elizabeth c

    I can completely relate…I have two boys…and two girls….my older daughter is perhaps even more boisterous than the boys, and fidgety as all get out…it doesn’t take long for me to loose it just because she can’t hold still (I am the opposite of fidgety)

  • Erin S

    I love how you said your boys are “250% boys” that is totally my two boys! We live similar to the 2 acres of farm land and they still drive me crazy with their noise (only a noise boys can make).

  • Cora

    I can totally relate to this article… but I’ve got 3 boys and a girl, and live on a 5 acre ranch… and they STILL manage to drive me crazy with their noise! It is an encouragement when I read articles that remind me that I’m not the only one out there who struggles with these emotions, and this series of articles has been a blessing to me. Thanks so much!

  • Kimberly

    I am struggling to control my emotions where it concerns the expectations I unknowingly put on my kids. How are they to know I want them to step up and do x-y-z thing when instead of talking it over and making a plan with goals, I, instead, let my mind turn circles on how much better life would be if my kids would just “get it”. Oy.

  • Joline

    I can definitely relate to this being a raging introvert and having two little boys. My youngest is an extrovert and sometimes I just feel like I need earplugs and a little bit of personal space! :) I struggle often with letting my frustrations get the best of me, especially on the days when it seems like the constant fighting and craziness will never end! Also…we have a lot of land, but you can’t send them outside during the polar vortex! ;)

  • Melissa

    I have a 9 yr old with CP. So often I forget being grateful because he can run, play, and speak. I find myself correcting him all the time. And offended he doesn’t follow my directions to a T. Why? I am not sure but am trying to be less critical, let him be a kid, and above all be grateful he can do these things.

  • Ashlee

    I am a mother of 4 kids under 4 and pregnant with number 5. I will have 5 kids 4 and under. Would love a copy to read.

  • Michelle Missy Barrett

    My 8 year old loves to say annoying things over and over and over and over and over…well you get the point. It drives us all crazy!!! I try to deal with it calmly, but sometimes…
    He’s doing it right now. :/ Praying for a way to deal with him correctly.

  • Tara Reineke

    “In a matter of about two minutes I went from 0 to 10 on the emoto-meter.”

    I do that…..

  • Julia

    Thank you for your blog! I just really started reading what you write recently (though I have been following you for a while) and it feels like you are writing about my thoughts and actions. I am so glad to hear I am not alone and a voice of reason to change. My girls are 3 ½ and 1 ½. They are adorable and quirky and I struggle with finding them annoying sometimes as well. Your book sounds like an AWESIME reality check!

  • MonkeyBoyAndButterflyGirl

    I can’t wait to read your book. Reading just the portion of your book you shared it was like reading a portion of my own life. I have a 10 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. They are so different and yet in many way so much the same and they are constantly doing things to purposely drive each other bananas, and me along with them. I started off thinking I would be the best mom ever, I’d have 6 kids and it would be like Little House on the Prairie…NOT….lol. My daughter was an easy “only” child, she’s got the most imaginative mind, she’s a natural born story teller and has a very loving personality, I was the best mom EVER, I rocked it…or so I thought. Then came my son, who has the biggest heart and an even bigger personality to go with it, he taught me I knew NOTHING of being a mom. He from day one pushed me to exhaustion everyday, the best way to describe my little snuggle bug is that he is a cross between Dennis the Menace and Curious George. He has a heart of gold, the best of intentions, he’s beyond curious about everything, and inevitably almost everything ends in disaster…lol. We are constantly fixing, putting back together and cleaning things up. I admit, I loose my temper, but when I look back from day one to now I see how far my patience has come and how much I’ve grown as a mom. As much as my kids fight and drive me I love and enjoy them more everyday and wouldn’t change a thing!!! Best job in the world!!!!

  • Michelle C

    This is one additional post that has hit home for me , as did the others in the 31 days Grouchy to great series . I began reading yesterday and cried through it because I finally was able to feel like I wasn’t alone in my battles rasing my children , I have 3, my 2 oldest are boys. My 8 y/o has Adhd. I feel absolutely overwhelmed and can completely understand needing peace and quiet and stillness etc . I just want to thank all of you ladies for sharing it has meant a great deal to me . I shared the link to the article on my Facebook hoping to touch someone else as you have my family !

  • Michelle

    When I get overwhelmed I have a hard time controlling my emotions

  • Susan S

    My son is 10. Has hit a major growth spurt and is still trying to adjust to his larger body. He cannot sit still. At all. Even when reading a book he has body parts moving. Love him to pieces but the squirming and little noises can just about drive me nuts at the end of a day. Not to mention the elbow strikes as he’s trying to get comfortable while snuggling with me. And I take every one of those elbow strikes because I love to snuggle with him at the end of the day while we’re reading our books. But some days . . . . . Thanks for sharing!

  • Melissa

    The time when I seem to lose control of my emotions the most is around dinner when everyone is hungry, whiny, and impatient. I love this grouchy to great series and all of the ideas for learning to channel my frustrations into something more positive. Thank you!

  • Kim

    This article just made me want to cry reading it this morning. My oldest daughter has one of those laughs…well I could have written this myself. It is so encouraging knowing I’m not alone in my “mommy struggles”.

  • Ann Shannon

    As a Mom who lives with Bi-Polar herself and who suspects her daughter does also controlling my emotions is a daily event for me. I often have to stuff my own sadness or depression down so that I can see to the needs of my family. It is only in the past few days that I have realized that by doing that I am not loving myself and taking good care of myself. I have to allow my own feelings to be in a way that does not infringe on my family but also does not dismiss them as unimportant. I have decided that I can start by loving myself enough that I offer myself the same grace and care I afford my family. Thank you for sharing the cloudy days, it helps to know others struggle also.
    Ann

  • Carrie S

    You hit the nail on the head! There are many days that I feel like a big fat jerk because I lost control of my emotions. And, of course I’m trying to teach my boys to control theirs…HA!

  • terra

    Thank you for this. I have recently realized I have been doing the same thing. Responding just because of the noise. I only have one crazy boy like this thankfully but two girls who dont get enough of me because I am always after my son. Its a neverending battle. God helps me in this area but i let my emotions override me. I too end the day feeling less than I should.

  • Kimberli wehrman

    Oh my gosh I need this book! I’m searching for it at the library and they don’t have it . My six year old son is loud .. Not his laugh… All things that exit his mouth!!!! He screams and shouts and I feel myself constantly losing it and ready to snap. The part of my brain that held me sane has been damaged b these decibels. I beg of you, choose me for one of the PDF copy giveaways !!

  • oonalee

    Oh, do I ever need this! My 7 yr old is… um… inquisitive. There are days when his voice drives me bonkers. :(

  • Mom to six

    I have 5 sons. And one daughter. Guess which relationship I struggle the most with. Yep…I am a “No Drama Mama” and my daughter is one big walking dramatic event in a tiny 7 yr old body. I need guidance. I feel I’ve scarred her for life with all the conflicts we’ve endured. This book would be great!

  • Jennifer Allen

    Self-control is a common theme of discussion in my house full of boys, but as often as I am preaching to them about it, I need to hear it myself! I continue to realize how important it is to ask forgiveness of my boys because of I have let my emotions take over. I would love to read your book – thanks for the giveaway opportunity!

  • Megan Erica Adams

    I have 4 boys and 1 girl 10 years and under. I struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder, OCD and Bipolar II. I have so much trouble controlling my mood swings and I am afraid my children will suffer for it, as much as I try to keep it hidden from them. I would love to read your book and appreciate any help at all.
    nutmegs_5@hotmail.com

  • april robling

    What a bIessing it would be to win. Im in desperate need of guidance, I have the worst habit of letting my emotions control me not just with my children but in every area of my life. Your book sounds like it may be what i’ve been needing. I love reading self help books. I have several, but not any on this issue. I believe with a step in the right direction along with prayer and faith in God I can live a happier less stressful life. I will be able to enjoy my children & appreciate the little things. Hoping to learn how to cope with the stresses that come with the blessing of being a stay at home mom & wife :) I want more than anything to be a good example to my girls, but I usually end up feeling like a failure. Hoping to find a way to learn to balance all these emotions & to feel like I’m making a difference in a positive way. Our youth need it more than ever. l want to break the generational curses, I want to speak life and blessings into the lives of my loved ones. Pick me and I promise i will pay it forward :) >

  • Martina

    I’m a red head. My 3 year old daughter is a red head. Let me tell you, the fire can get going in our house. I’ve always joked it’s because we’ve both got the red hair & the stubbornness to match it. Controlling my emotions is a skill that somehow seems to get lost in the muddle of parenting. I would love to read your e-book. I am so glad I stumbled on this blog! Talk about encouragement and support!

  • Alyssaz

    I struggle with keeping my anger in check :( so impatient

  • Christina Ollis Angelo

    Thank you for this giveaway.
    I struggle the most when there is pure disobedience. When you’ve asked
    not once, not twice, not even three times and get no response. When they get
    lazy and don’t put away their toys properly, when they are rude to each other
    or when I catch them lying. That is when I become the mom I don’t want to be.

    I feel utter remorse when I yell at them in frustration.
    They are kids.. I am an adult and I still struggle with these same issues. I
    can here God telling me, “I’ve asked you once, twice, 3 times or more and
    you still disobey, but yet I’m patient with you… I have seen you treat your possessions
    poorly and lied about things that you don’t need to lie about… I know you struggle
    to be nice and compassionate to others as well.. but I forgive you and love you.”
    I’m thankful for God’s grace and mercy. And in these moments
    I try my best to extend it to them. Sometimes it is just plain hard and I dislike
    evening having to deal with these negative emotions to begin with. By God’s
    Grace and Goodness.. I CAN change… More of HIM… less of me.

  • Kirsten Martin Triplett

    Your basketball example describes me exactly. I find myself going from 0 to 10 in about 2 seconds flat when my kids are behaving poorly, especially around other people. I know that most of it is me and my fear of how I will be seen as a parent, but somehow I just feel as though I have no control over my emotions. I really look forward to reading your book. Thank you.

  • dianna

    Wow! Just wow! I’ve come across lots of blogs and websites that have offered Biblically based guidance in lots of areas, but none have hit so close to my heart as this. I have 3 amazing children 5 to 15 whom I love dearly. They make me crazy sometimes though. For example, my 10 year old whistles constantly! I’ve shushed him to the point that he NEVER whistles anymore. How sad it is for a mother to take his outward expression of happiness away. I go from “ok” to explosive quite frequently simply because I let my emotions control me. I hate it. This is not the example I want to live before them. Whether I win a copy or not, I need to read this book. My children need to see me in control of my emotions, and I need to be able to train them to do so as well.

  • Heather Kriete

    This book sounds like it is for me!!! 10 years ago my husband who was in the military at the time got deployed to Iraq for 13 months. I was in the states with our 2 small children. During this time a flipped switched in my life and not a good one. I became anxious beyond control and starting having horrible anxiety attacks. Since then and 3 children later I have struggled on and off with getting my anxiety under control. The good days are good but the bad days are horrible. I have 4 boys who are as you mentioned 250% boy and my oldest is a beautiful young lady. I feel like everyday is filled with unglued high emotions moments. I ask God for forgiveness and I ask my family for forgiveness. I know that I am on a journey of healing but it has been a hard road and God is stretching me to completely and totally rely on Him….and I want to…I need to.

  • Sunny

    I am a single mother with three boys (15, 13 and 10) so most of my frustration stems from feeling like it’s three against one. The quote within your post pretty much describes every feeling that flows through me at any given time. Thank you for posting! I will be reading your ebook very soon.

  • Amy

    Loved this. I too have a child with an amazing laugh! I actually love it but because she’s just so darned happy I hear it a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful just a little weary at times. Then she has a fake one where she exclaims “I can stop laughing!” Over and over and over. I can’t take it. Especially in the car going down the highway at 60 mph. And when I know it’s fake! She is large and loud God love her. I wouldn’t change it, but The noise volume and nonstop conversation is exhausting some days. And my anger pops up often because I too am an introvert of epic proportions. Getting this book for sure! Just knowing I’m not alone helps:)

    • Amy

      Would love to win a copy and have you as a guest on my blog too:)

  • gilmore2002

    I have three children and am currently dealing with anger issues due to a 7 yr old daughter with obsessive compulsive tendencies and who is constantly getting into a power struggle with me. I love them so much but find it so hard to enjoy their company when I feel like I am constantly getting on to them or yelling :( I know the biggest issue is my short temper and not being able to control my own emotions. I would love to get a copy of this book.

  • Julie Stark

    Yoga

  • Natasha

    I struggle with something similar… a couple nights a week we are on the road around the time I would consider shuffling the kiddos off to bed. We are a house full of night owls, so not only is bedtime a struggle, on these nights in the car, the kids seem to get a second wind and their energy and humor over every. silly. thing. seems to bounce off the car windows… It overwhelms me, when I would prefer quiet. I want to see the joy in things… in life. Joy is my desire and my focus these days!

  • Kimberly Kaczmarek-Mcnamara

    Its great that other mom’s struggle with exactly what I do, I don’t feel so all alone. I am not always proud of how I act, but I know each day is a new beginning.

  • Satin P

    Wow… this was amazing, Brooke! I absolutely LOVE your candid writing & transparency! It’s so refreshing to be surrounded by REAL moms, experiencing REAL emotions & serving a REAL God who can help us through it all! Thank you for sharing & bringing encouragement to my heart! ♥

  • forever_sam

    This is great and just what I need! I have three boys, ages 8, 6 and 4. They are amazing and I miss them when I’m at work or when they’re spending time with grandma, but five minutes of them bouncing around the house with so much energy not hearing a word I say makes me want to get back in my car and drive back to work. My boys need a happy mommy, not a grouchy one. I’m definitely looking forward to reading this book!

  • V. Jones

    This book sounds great. I don’t have too much experience with this as me as the mom because I have a seven week old. However, I know this experience as a daughter and blocking out anything good my mom or siblings would do when I am frustrated with something they have done. I would love to read this book.

  • Amy

    I have a hard time controlling my emotions when the task at hand does not meet my expectations (which are often unrealistic). I also have a hard time dealing with disobedience from my 4 yo son. Especially when I have repeated myself 15 times in the last 2 minutes. PTL for God’s grace!

  • S. Connelly

    I have 5 children, 4 of them are boys. As a child I experienced violent emotional outbursts from my father on a regular basis. I inadvertently adopted his behavior in raising my own children. Only recently have I begun to understand that it IS possible to control my emotions and train my children in better behavior verses frightening them into obedience. I’m so ashamed of the many times I’ve yelled and lost my mind over something foolish. I look forward to reading your book and learning to submit this area to God.

  • Jami Hitesman

    Well as a mother of only 1 boy and 3 girls…at this age now (10) he is much easier then the girls (19,15,8)… with my son I tend to be harder on him because I want him to be “a boy” and not cry when he gets hurt or when words hurt him…I have to step back and say…”is it really that bad if he cries at a movie because a dog dies, or because someone hurt his feeling”…sometimes he needs to cry and hopefully one day his wife will thank me for raising such a sensitive young man…

  • Rachel

    When I’m tired and trying to get the kids to bed and it SEEMS to take hours just find Pj’s in their drawers, brush teeth, potty, etc. I can get pretty stressed. I usually ask my hubby to take over with at least 1 kid and that helps me :)

  • Jada Smith

    As a single mom of two teens and who is engaged, I often find myself feeling in the middle of them. I get into the “I do it all” phase of feeling sorry for myself. Sometimes, I feel like it’s too hard and I just want to give up. I think I equate them needing me with loving me and that is so wrong at this stage of their life. I’m working on sharing responsibility and that I have worth separate from what I do for people.

  • Jenn

    I have 4 children that are under 4 years apart in age, 3 of whom are 250% boys and one little princess. I struggle daily with them just being kids. I think it’s because it’s tough to clean and keep up with 1 child, let alone 4 that are not that far apart developmentally. When they just are playing and being loud, I want to scream to be quiet! I do love my children with all my heart, but one day without a headache would be wonderful!

  • Elissa Philgence

    Hi Brooke

    Your post was very enlightening. I heard and saw myself in every word.

    I love my daughter, I love her singing and at 6 years old she sings every and anywhere we go. People tells her all the time she has a beautiful voice. However, her singing never stops. At nights, after I but her to bed, when I think she is sleeping I hear her calling me. Now she doesn’t just call, she sings her request, mommy, mommy, mommyyyyyy, and she does not stop until I get there.

    Now it would be worst, because when she is in one of her bad moods, she cries just as loud and forceful as she sings and she does not stop until her request or need is met.

    I truly believe God gets us children to refine us.

    Blessings.

  • Cara Shields

    I feel like I am behind about 99.9% of the time and usually take it out by screaming at my poor girls. After all how dare my kids get in the way of me being the perfect mother

  • Debra Vickers Hebert

    I do a pretty good job of keeping my emotions in check when I am around others and I know I have to remain in control. It is usually when I am alone with my kids that I get annoyed and come unglued and end up yelling and saying things I later regret. I pray that my walk with God will help me grow in patience, kindness, love, peace and self control and that I can always keep my cool even when He is the only one watching!

  • D

    Everyday I pray that God helps me to be the mother my children need me to be, that he helps me to hear him on what to do, how to respond instead of react to my way to high frustrated emotions. I ask to help to see things from the kids eyes and ears and not mine, for afterall they are just kids. Thanks you everyone for being so honest. It’s good for everyone to know they are not alone.

  • Jennifer Polliard

    My absent-minded-professor-husband’s (and our son-in-training) inability to focus and be productive and my girl’s (3 & 1) screaming at each other really send me through the roof. Thanks for your encouragement and tips!

  • http://ajourney4life.blogspot.com/ Jenn

    When I am tired and my husband been out working for a few days.

  • Amy

    potty-training….that gets to me

  • Holly Marie Ford

    I struggle with feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. I’m a stay at home mom and a Pastor’s wife. We’ve just recently moved, so I feel like everything is magnified. Also, with the transition and not having a routine-I constantly feel like I’m on the edge of loosing my mind! BUT I’m on a journey to discovering what effects my emotions and that I NEED Mommy quiet time…

  • Courtney Braddock

    I have a hard time when it’s all of mine at once. That makes it harder for me.

  • Tracey Hastie

    I was never allowed to play and I get very frustrated when my kids’ play gets out of control even when I warn them that they are getitng scatty. Usually I just blow up after asking them to calm down now I just walk away. It is so hard to control my emotions and y kids suffer for it.

  • Lora Farrell

    Oh my. I need to read this. My son has been a challenge since birth. He is super strong-willed, loud, over-the-top boy….and he completely wears me out. In reference to the story of the elephant (your emotions) and the rider (your self-control), I often tell my husband at the end of a long day that my rider is very, very tired (and not always successful).

  • Christina

    I would LOVE a copy! Just wrote today about my challenges with my 3 boys. My challenge isnt them being boys, its ME letting them. Anyway I would love a copy…

  • ST

    I can totally relate to the “boy noise in small spaces”, I have 2- 250% boys (4yrs and 3 yrs) and a new baby girl in a 1000 sq ft home on less than 1/2 acre. I especially start to lose it when I’m trying to make a brief but important phone call. I find myself wandering from one room of the house to another while they follow me with their ever increasing noise, it drives me to the brink EVERY. TIME. Also, I second another comment: Potty training (!). Thanks for this article, it helps me know I’m not alone in this and that through the power of God’s Word, we CAN change! :)

  • Sarah

    I sometimes cry, holding my son who is one and shows aggression that I know he’s learned from me. I’m afraid and sad to know it’s being passed to another generation (I grew up in a very hostile environment). I pray every day that I will overcome this and every morning I promise God I won’t give into these emotions and every night I ask for forgiveness again. Because I fail. I’ve tried medication, meditation, support groups, counselling and prayer. It is a daily struggle.

  • Susan

    I often let everyone else’s emotions/moods determine mine instead of being the one to set a joyful, peace-filled tone for our home. Change is hard but I believe it’s possible…lots of prayer and hard-work and admitting when I mess up (again and again).

  • Kathryn Arnold

    You mean it’s possible to experience my emotions AND control them without exploding or imploding? The folks who have to deal with me would like it, I think, if I figured that out.

  • mom2twoboys

    I see and hear myself in so much of what you describe. The step by step break down of the escalation of the anger was particularly helpful to me. Thank you for this series and for your blog. I am learning so much.

  • Guest

    I’d love half an acre for my 2 boys :)

  • Pamela koop

    Ugh, even today my kiddos were being silly and laughing loudly but everything seemed out of control! How hard it is not to yell and take out your frustration on them:( would love a copy!

  • Viki Marcinova

    What helps me (twice in ten moments) (which is actually far more efficient than any other technique so far) is this simple breathing/praying as Ann Voskamp described it on her webpage. The name of God as written originally is actually unpronouncable, and is only a sound of our breathing – so in those worst moments when I am on the edge and can only breathe, I really ONLY breathe. That’s a prayer, too.

  • Tiffany

    I struggle with containing my emotions when my 3 year old screams. She screams over so much and it gets to me. I just explode over it. I need to learn to control my emotions so I can teach her to do the same.

  • micah

    As a mother of four I experience anger on many an occasion. Our children are 10,8,3, & 18 mo. Since we are a home schooling family I find the times I am most likely to loose it is when I am working with the older children and the younger ones start fighting over a toy or something of that matter. I’ve prayed about this daily for many months now and couldn’t understand why God wasn’t helping me get over it, until my husband pointed out that I had to LET God help me. I had to take the steps to let him speak to me about my anger. This is how I found the grouchy to great series! I have begun writing scripture and memorizing it in hopes that through God’s word He can help me overcome this struggle. Another thing I’ve begun doing is keeping track of the days during the month I am most likely to loose my temper with the kids. Wouldn’t you know, it is the same time EVERY month for the last three months. A week before my time comes. :) I’m hoping since I am more aware of these irritable times I will be able to hear God speaking more clearly to me about my anger not accomplishing His righteousness. Anyhow, I would love a chance to win your ebook!

  • Christy

    Ugh, had to have a discussion about laughing at lunch today! My son loves to laugh but then he gets the baby going & then they are choking on food. I’d love to figure out how to encourage their love of life within reason!

  • Gina

    I’m having a hard time not getting a full nights sleep and being resentful because it’s been a really long 7 months:-)

  • http://www.maxsonybalogny.blogspot.com/ Nicole Jones

    I struggle with the fact my toddler son has become a huge momma’s boy since I started staying home with him over a year ago. Don’t get me wrong, it has some of the sweetest moments being his go-to parent, but the constant 24/7 neediness and whining and having to be attached to my hip wears me down (he’s our only child). I feel like he’s running me ragged and I can’t get anything done. It can be overwhelming and that’s when I catch myself getting angry and snapping.

  • Becky Holmes

    Oh!!!!! I could so relate to this post. Even though we have 40 of those acres to let our little ones run around and lots of animals to keep them busy, our one is still 250% boy. They scream, they fight and they laugh together, and I can go from crazy red faced mama in less than 3 seconds…well, it feels like it anyway. :) one of my “goals” or things to work on was to not be this mama anymore. It has effected me, my husband and my two little ones for too long and with the Lord’s help, I’m overcoming this and learning to control those emotions. I’m also learning to let a lot of the little things go and truly allow myself to enjoy my life. We’re surrounded by loved ones, and am blessed to be able to raise these little ones, why are we so miserable as moms? I refuse to live my life like that anymore. Thank you for this series and this book will be a definite read for me this year!

  • Olivia

    One way I struggle..not all of the time, but a lot of the time, is when my almost four year old asks for the same thing over and over. I will sometimes forget to speak to him kindly about it and instead get frustrated and huff at him. Taking that deep breath and thinking about the moment before reacting out of the flesh, is so vital!

  • Abigail

    My boy is only 3 1/2 years old, but is ALL boy ALL the time . . . I struggle to look beyond the disobedience, beyond the outbursts and tears, but sometimes it all just comes crashing down around me and I get louder and he gets pushier/more disobedient :( I desperately want to enjoy my boy and his laugh and watch those big brown eyes twinkle, but so often, I let my emotions get the best of me

  • Katie

    I love this. I have a really hard time controlling my emotions when my children are ‘rough housing’. I know they are having fun and will be okay, but the noise drives me nuts and I give them a warning, they don’t listen and then I feel like I explode!

  • Leslie S

    I struggle daily with keeping my cool with my kids. With an active 3 year old boy, a 18m girl who’s decided to start the terrible 2s early, and being 6 months pregnant…. I’m barely holding it together most days. I don’t know how my emotions fall apart so quickly! I related so much to your article. Thank you :-)

  • http://www.houseofworshippers.com/ Michelle @ House of Worshipper

    I get this one! I have 3 kids 6, 3.75 and 22 months. I have so many lose it days that I searched online for help- someone like me that got her control back. My mom was a yeller and I vowed to never be that way and yet I have. I lose it and the ugly hurtful words are not always held back. I am afraid of going to far. I tried Orange Rhino and it wasn’t backed up with God so it didn’t stick. I am ready to go from grouchy to great- I homeschool so they are stuck with me and I am a worship leader so my words better be right towards my kids as well as God!

  • Glorybee

    I struggle with this every day. I watched my mom let her emotions control her every action, and I promised I would not be that way. But I find myself with a four year old, three year old, one on the way, and a husband who answers his countries call to freedom, I begn to see my mother in myself. I long for the day to feel in control of myself. The day where I don’t allow hurtful words and sporadic emotions to reign free in me.
    Actually last night, I lost my temper and said some very hurtful and scarring thing to my girls, things I would be appalled to hear from anyone else. Then I saw this blog and the book, and I believe that this somehow an answer to a prayer for help.

  • Loren

    I can totally relate to this. I have 3 little boys, expecting #4! I have to use industrial earmuffs in our car. Yep, you can see me rocking those orange headphones if you pull up next to me at the lights. Weeks like this one I think I need to remove the rear mirror too. What do I do when it all seems too much and I can’t control my own emotions? I pray, apologize, call my mum, tickle fight them, tell them how God can change my heart, grab a moment of bible time, turn up the worship music and try to find my joy. It may be deeply hidden but my saviours love and grace for me goes deeper.
    Go on – get yourself some earmuffs – you know u want to!

  • lcomm

    This is such a comfort! Deep breath… I don’t have to scar my children. With a precocious 3 year old and her 8 month old sister, i often find myself desperate for bedtime. Naps are a must, as much for me as them. Was brought to tears the other day when my little girl got really nervous about something she’d done, anxiously telling her father that “mommy is going to be mad!” I scared her when i lost my temper, & it broke my heart. Committed to giving it to the Lord, and so thankful that anything is possible and He is faithful!

  • Samantha

    Would love to get this! Will get even if I don’t win. I have a hard time containing my emotions when my house is in chaos. My anxiety level creeps way up when there are toys everywhere & I’ve been known to explode!

  • emilythestrange

    Well isn’t this timely after 2 screaming children in the bathtub respondingto their grumpy yelly mother. My head in my hands praying to God to help me like my children again.

  • momma needs help

    I thought I was the only mom that has this problem. I have more good days than bad but in the past it’s been pretty bad. My husband says I yell too much and I know I do. I get really anxious then I feel overwhelmed. I work full time with children and families in crisis situations and I am extremely stressed at work by the high stress environment. I try not to bring this home however I often do. When I first started I would cry when I got home snuggle my kids. Thank god for all he gave us. Now I find myself yelling at them(I have a 17 month old aswell) telling my sweet girl(age 4) to be quiet and begging her stop smiling and laughing and having fun. I often feel like I am losing my mind.

  • Stephanie

    I often find myself being annoyed by my kids just being kids. It usually means I’m just too stressed, but I have to remind myself of that and remind myself that it is okay for them to laugh loud sometimes and be a little wild. Good post!

  • Jill

    Noise can also be a trigger for me…I do okay until all of a sudden it’s just too much and I can’t take one more sound. I have got to get better at taking mommy time outs. Just a little breather to calm down. Early evening can be a train wreck. The two older kids wresting around trying to have fun and making all kinds of noise, the little one crabbing for dinner or getting into everything, and me trying to get it all pulled together and on the table so we can ENJOY it, people. By the time we sit down, the stress level is so high, who can enjoy any time together. This week, we’re having a no yell week. No one is allowed to yell at anyone else, for any reason. Worth a try. It’s been going well so far…

  • Mary Adams

    I find this most difficult when I am tired or under the weather and my kids refuse to obey. I tend to give a lot less grace when mama is feeling like she just needs some down time.

  • SarahDeJesus27

    Im involved in a blended family with 5 boys. Sometimes I struggle daily with run away emotions. Mother bear, angry bear, weeping bear and so on. Having a blended family has had its challenges. I use prayer and Gods promises daily to help me survive. I dont want to survive though I want to fully enjoy Gods blessing he has given me. Its so funny I came across this post just now. I was just angry as a hornet trying to use my phone as a way to ignore the conversation taking place between my Husband and child so that I didnt pop my top. God has a funny way of distracting us. Thanks for the article just at the right moment.

  • Dayna Lynn Castleberry

    I have 4 wonderful children. A 9yo little girl who is the kind of child any parent would want, she helps out with the younger children, does chores, minds well & is almost never a problem, then there’s my 1yo girl. Shes a little fireball with a temper and a tendency to scream and whine when things aren’t going the way she sees fit for them to go. And then I have my boys. Oh my. They are 9 months apart. My 6yo talks constantly and is always singing and dancing and being as loud as he can all the time. When I say constantly talking I mean he talks from the time his little feet hit the floor in the morning until he closes his little eyes at night. And if he has no one to talk to he will talk to himself.. which is wonderful but aftera few hours Im at my limit and ready to scream.. and then that leaves my 7yo. He is all boy all the time. His favorite passtime is aggervating his sisters. He is always into something he knows hes not supposed to be in & though his desire to be good and stay out of trouble is great he falls short quite often and it drives me crazy. Between the 1,6,&7yo I end most of my days in tears feeling overwhelemed by their behavior and my inability to get them under control. Its exhausting. I wouldnt trade being a mother for anything in the world but there are days where I ask myself how anyone does it..

  • AprilApril

    Nothing makes me more emotional than potty training. My babies are 16 months apart so just about the time I felt like I was finally done potty training the first one I am moving into the second one. I think the most frustrating thing is calming myself when they have accidents after months of training and it is always at the most inconvenient time like when I have cleaned my purse out and forgot to supply it with an extra pair of undies or waiting until naptime to use the rest room and then playing in it. It can literally make me loose my mind! So thankful to know that at some point it will be over and also knowingness that bit is teaching me patience and perseverance at the same time

  • Debbie

    I have a hard time when I have to repeat myself several times in order for my kids to even hear me, let alone do what I ask…and also when they are fighting with each other. I find myself yelling even when I hate hearing myself do it.

  • Stevie

    I struggle the most as I teach my kids. As a homeschooler it’s one of my biggest frustrations. When they aren’t getting it, and they don’t try. When they are supposed to be silently reading and they are giggling… But I homeschool for many reasons, one being to spend time with them, to leave a legacy.. THIS is not the legacy I want to leave! Working hard on my emotions daily. Many days I get it right… then there’s a day that is so wrong it taints all the days before and after. Leaning on Him to get us through!

  • Kathy

    When in a time crunch and dealing with an uncooperative child. I struggle a lot with maintaining my composure.

  • Karen Klepsteen

    I struggle with depression, and I struggle to stay calm and engaged with my daughter. I know that her childhood is passing me by, but I still struggle to be the fun, engaged, patient mom that she so deserves!

  • T

    My son who is highly intelligent talks ALL the time. Even if he has nothing to say. Gets to be a little much some times while trying to take care of a 10 month old daughter. After asking him repeatedly to give me a few minutes I get frustrated and raise my voice….often. Then I have all the guilt and feel as though I’m dampening his sweet little spirit. I pray to handle the situation differently but I still have a long way to go.

  • Kelsie

    Oy. Your story about the noise of boys and your nerves in small spaces hits home. I have a newly 4 year old, an almost 3 year old and a 5 month old. The last 5 months with a new baby trying to sleep, and 2 little boys running around, being boys, has been TORTURE for me. I am trying SO hard to find a balance of teaching them vs. stifling them…especially the almost 3 year old, he has such a BIG voice and a BIG laugh (and a big scream when his older brother is bugging him)…which I love…but when his baby brother is trying to sleep, it about sends me through the roof!

  • Olga

    I need to learn to control my temper so that I can set a better example for my 3 gorgeous kids.

  • Kristin Ownby

    Oh my goodness. This topic speaks right to my heart. Every morning I pray to show God’s love to my kids through my words. And every day I go to bed wondering if I’ve screwed up again.

  • Ashley

    I have always struggled to control my emotions but now that I work nights my temper is even more out of control. I am selfish and crabby most of the time. I would love some help!

  • RC

    I’m literally in tears after reading this, right now. My son is a lot like yours. His laugh is infectious and he seems to have no ability to control the volume. Today, I lost my temper with him (for other reasons, that in no way justify my actions). I stormed out of the room. I realized that I had lost my temper and went back in to apologize, but I have felt awful all day. He has impulse control issues, and it’s my job to help him to learn to control himself, and I couldn’t even control myself… Sorry, guess it’s just been a bad day :(

  • disqus_FZ1ti2jbsJ

    I struggle the most with my emotions when I am tired or when I feel like I don’t have enough me time. I feel like I deserve a break and get very crabby/find it hard to be engaged and in the moment with my family.

  • celinda

    I struggle with controlling my emotions because I’m impatient… impatient with my husband, son and even dogs! I definitely need all the help I can get in this area.

  • Michelle Felton

    I have a long history of quickly getting to the snapping point. I have struggled for years knowing this was sinful. I have recently chosen to wholeheartedly deal with the problem and retrain my heart. I have not been able to find much practical information, until this I would love a copy.

  • T4

    Wow this is great. I can’t tell you how many times I have blown up at my boys and regretted it after I opened my mouth or acted out. I have 3 boys and expecting my 4th boy in April. Before I got married I said I wanted 4 boys and I received. I thought boys would be easier to raise, however I’m finding out that’s not the case. I see myself and my uncontrolled emotions playing out in my oldest sons behavior towards his brothers and I dont like what I see. He has tantrums like I used to have sometimes and is out of control which causes me to get upset and get out of control myself. Every time this happens I tell myself I’ll do better next time and sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t but like I tell my son I’m working to change with Jesus help. Hopefully he will catch me changing and change too. Thanks

    • Crystal Kee Thompson

      Its like I wrote this myself! Except for the fourth boy part! The way I act with 3 I wouldn’t dare do it to a fourth. I’m praying for all of us!

  • Jennifer K.

    It’s nice to know that I am not alone in my struggle with raising children. My mom was a yeller and I too have become one, and I despise it! I struggle with patience with my children and wonder why things have to be repeated over and over, it makes me very frustrated, and then the yelling begins. Reading this book may just give me the tools I need to get control and stop yelling, which would be wonderful. I’m not sure my children would know how to react to a mother who didn’t yell….how sad is that.

  • Jessica Ross

    I am struggling with exhaustion. My husband is on strong medication for anxiety that he has to take at night. For 2 years I have gotten up with our son with few and far nights in between of actual sleep. He is getting his second molars now. One night he was up for two hours. I have tried everything. I need to be able to control my emotions. I am looking to try this for everyone involved. I get to the point of being mad because I need sleep because I have to work.

  • Valerie Hinzman

    Wow..I want and need to win one of those books!
    My example…homeschool math with 4 of my 6 kids who all need and want my help at the same time….my mama cool disappears too fast when trying to do algebra, fractions, 3rd grade division, and having a kindergartener ask if he’s done so he can go watch tv…all at the same time. (I hate tv…especially during school time-lol)
    A friend and I have been using these posts this month to hold one another accountable in our areas of keeping our emotions and tongues under control. It’s been a grata experience thus far. If I won this book we could sure use it to extend this time of accountability.

  • rachel Bradley

    My emotions take the same nose-dive from angry to help/hopeless every day! I thought I was the only one and I thought I was plagued with some mental illness to which there was no cure. I have 4 at home and I homeschool; which is really difficult on this crazy uncontrolled-emotional-roller-coaster. Adding to the feeling of hopelessness is the fear that I am irreparably destroying my childrens’ chance at a victorious and joyful life.

  • S

    I think my biggest struggle is frustration (which, of course ends up turning to anger more than it should!), whether it be that they’re not at the level I think they should be at responsibility wise, or them being too wild in their play at times, or just a not-so-great day in homeschool. The 6 year gap between my next youngest and youngest doesn’t help as I’m trying to keep her entertained while schooling my oldest kids……………the list goes on! :-P

  • Kelly

    :( I have a five year old in which the similar feelings crept in. I need that control. I want to know what it’s like to be capable of controlling my emotions. My Sammy-Jammy is quite the same, in fact, to your little one. His laugh almost makes me explode, his high-pitched crying (CRYING!!!! HELLO???!!! MOM!!!??? INSERT CARING, LOVING, NURTURING MOM HEART HERE!!!!????) I end up telling him to suck it up, which, I know is good for little boys to a certain extent, not to the harming of their little hearts, but man, I get angry with him just for crying, and laughing…and I see now that it’s my fault. :(
    Lord help me?!

  • Tisha Endsley

    I am a working mom of 4 children, 5 (250% boy), 9 (girl who will one day win a golden globe for her dramatic acting abilities, 11(250% boy), 15 (250% LOUD boy). My husband has to be at work at 6am, so the mornings are all mine. This time is when I struggle the most to refrain from yelling, sighing, frantically running around the house or selling one of my children to the sweetgrass basket makers (I live in Charleston, and they are all along the side of the road) we see on the way to drop them off. This is when they seem to test me the most!!! My teenager wants to challenge every single decision, my daughter wants justice in how much peanut butter her brother put on his toast, my 5 year old CRIES the entire morning and my 11 year old takes 30 minutes to brush is hair. I can use the help!!

    I posted a picture of us camping last month…I just wanted a nice picture………..I was so frustrated that I just sat down and laughed my head off!!

  • Sarah

    I also have two boys in a very small apartment and just added a baby girl to the mix – deep down, I KNOW it’s not their fault, but whenever I am trying to get baby to nap, their laughs and roughhousing echoes and makes it near impossible…I get so upset that my insides shake and I almost feel like a panic attack is coming on! I laughed but totally related to wanting to punish your boy for laughing…Thank God for His grace and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve turned it all into teachable moments about God’s grace when I pray with the boys and ask them for grace for their crazy Mama;)

  • Emily Barnhart Sweet

    My girls and their messy rooms is what really gets to me.

  • Crystal Kee Thompson

    This is me. God help us

  • Christina

    Wow, as I read this I began to cry, because you just described my everyday life in a nut shell. I go form 0 to 10 with my two rambunctious boys, ages 6 and 3, on a daily basis. It seems that the more I speak, the more they tune me out. Then I’m yelling and threatening to sent the to their room if they don’t knock it off. They are simply being 250% boys in our small confined space. I am also expecting, a daughter this time, and I want more than anything to take a more gentle approach to parenting. I want to learn how to keep my cool and get the kids to do the things they need to do. Thank you so much for sharing this information with me!! I soo NEED it!!!!!

  • Trista Blankenship

    I need to read this. I have two girls, one who cries at the drop of the hat. It makes my crazy.

  • Callie

    I have three boys, two of them step sons, and one teen aged girl who no longer lives with us in this chaos (she stays with her dad). I get overwhelmed easily with all the boy noise and rough play. I had one sister growing up, and am also an introvert. I struggle daily with losing it, or reminding myself that boys need boy play. I pray for guidance, and am thrilled to find honest and Christian resources out there for it!

  • Jennifer

    Before my monthly visit, about 2 weeks before, I have a complete head change. Its horrible. I try so hard to keep quiet, no sarcasm, snapping, and every month I fall. I homeschool, and that is an area for me that the Lord is working on me about. Bad sometimes that I do not want to be in the Word:( I make myself.

  • Alisha Fairchild

    I have struggled with a short fuse toward my son. It started getting noticeably difficult when he hit about 18 months … Then I became very impatient with his lack of obeying and my response would, more often than not, be yelling at him. He is now 33 months and my emotions come raging forth when he is whiny AND days where he is clingy … Even if he is clinging to me lovingly. I know it’s understandable to get irritated quickly when your children are whiny and pouty but why do I get irritated on days where he wants to be close to me and love on me all day long. On the surface I think it’s due to me having my own agenda and being set back by the constant company of my child but I feel like there has to be more to it than that. It’s obviously an issue of selfishness and some days I enjoy his clingy, loving behavior but other times I just get annoyed and frustrated about it. Can you say guilt?! :/

  • Candace

    I often can get angry with my children at the drop of a hat seemingly for no good reason. I am so glad to have some good resources to have found in your writings.

  • Laurie

    I am a mother of 7 and an early childhood educator – why can I be oh so patient at work and struggle at home? It is daily a work in progress…..

  • JB

    Brooke, I just love your words and I especially loved when you made this statement: “Most certainly one of the things my son will tell his wife one day to explain why he’s so messed up.” Classic. The greatest annoyance for me is my son’s cry. After struggling for almost the first two whole years of his life, even though God delivered me out of it, it seems that I still can only handle his 4-year-old tears for about 5 minutes and then I snap and can usually be heard saying “grow up” and “big boys don’t cry.” Motherhood mess – for sure. God reminds of the grace and mercy He gives us daily as a parent and I’m grateful that you were honest here and shared your heart. I really needed to hear it.

  • Sharon

    My 4 year olds lack of speaking in an “inside voice” with any consistency drives me crazy! Even if the baby isn’t sleeping. I like peace and quiet from time to time, and I am continually telling her, “I can hear you just fine. Can you hear me? You don’t have to talk so loud. Shh.”

  • Marilyn B.

    I’m new to the realm of raising *boys* – that is, plural. Miles is two and Jasper is five months, so I am learning the rhythm of being outnumbered both by children, as well as males! Miles is so much like me, in that he is sensitive and emotional, so there are days I feel just like him, and I throw a fit bigger than he does! But yelling louder or crying harder than my kid sure doesn’t solve anything!
    I would love this e-book, so that I might gain insight on how to be empowered to have self-control over my very powerful emotions…

  • Emmie

    How do I not struggle? It’s always a battle to fight anger and frustration, but I am learning how to pray and give those emotions to God.

  • Dee Schragl

    I struggle with the 0 to 10 emotional out of control train of thought too. Embarrassed to ANGRY!!! over small stuff like the “laugh” as well. I was born and raised that way. But as a new creation in Christ I am submitted to being conformed to His patient graceful likeness

  • Kim

    I am shocked by how much the regular noise of all four of my children grates on my nerves and struggle with just allowing them to be kids!

  • Amanda

    I too have gotten upset at my children’s laughter. Why? Because I feel grouchy and their laughter makes me completely aware of just how grouchy I am. I don’t say anything to them, I just walk away and get over it. Usually if I go clean something or read a book, I’ll end up feeling better in a little while. I’m so blessed to have my children and their laughter.

  • Kimberly

    My oldest daughter is beginning to enter that “I’ve got hormones and I’m not afraid to use them” stage, and I’m terrified by how I see myself dealing with that. (It’s even worse with the boys, I’m not sure I can even say on here how bad things end up sometimes with them) I am a yeller, I was raised by a yeller, and I can’t see any way out. I would LOVE to have some real tools to help me do a better job of mothering my children. Thank you for offering this.

  • Ashley

    I use to blame postpartum as a “reason” to be angry. My youngest has started school now, so that can’t be it. ;) But like mentioned in the above story, I too, can feel myself get angry at the loudness of my beautiful children enjoying life…even at home, and beg them to put their headphones on and go into their own rooms. ;( I want to enjoy my children. I want to enjoy being a mother again. Once I noticed this as a daily, recurring problem with myself, I began to ask God to heal me, teach me, minister to this deep wound and brokenness that was causing this anger. He led me to your blog that I had subscribed to get emails from earlier. It has been amazing. As a SAHM, we live on one income. So these free resources have been a HUGE blessing. Thank you so much!

  • Jdesi

    I have a major issue controlling my emotions. My children are 4 and 1. I get angry for just about anything they do that resembles the emotions of a child. I have prayed about my very short fuse, but I know I need to work at harder. I realize it is not ok to get angry when they get a little too excited and a little too loud, or when they get a little grouchy and whine a little too much. I’m too hard on them and I expect better behavior from them, but the problem is I really don’t realize how ridiculous this request is most of the time, until after I’ve snapped, of course. Then I feel like the biggest failure of a mother that ever existed. It’s really a very depressing and vicious cycle.

  • Katie

    Um wow.
    I wish there was a way for me to email each and every one of the 136 women that commented
    before me and THANK THEM. Somehow, I get into this horrendous pit of despair thinking that my family was the only one that struggled with sibling discord, momma-temper-moments, and seemingly hopeless “family” situations. I am the oldest child and daughter of 6 children—I am the only current grad and all the rest are homeschooled- I have 2 imperfect-yet-wonderful Christian parents and have been brought up in a Godly Christian home. My dad is a deacon and both parents do JR church and minister in a hundred little ways at church nearly every time the doors are open. So somehow I conditioned myself to think that we must be the worst bunch of hypocrites because we have daily discord (I mean, 6 homeschoolers under one roof, two of which are 12 and 13 yr old FEMALES? And a BUSY homeschooled mommy? How could there POSSIBLY be a problem!? LOLOL) and yet say we’re Christians.
    The reactions to this post helped me see something—WE’RE NOT. WE’RE JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. Sinful people. Living in a fallen world. With imperfect conditions, situations, and personalities.
    Yes—discipline needs to be given for disrespect and discord. But SURPRISE! My family is MUCH MORE NORMAL than I had convinced myself! This post, and the myriad of ensuing comments have been SUCH AN ENCOURAGEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!