A Cranky Wife’s Life

A Cranky Wife's Life

A cranky wife cannot enjoy her day.

Her insides feel twisted as her mind has a difficult time processing anything except lamenting, “Why me?”  She is quick to get angry and even quicker at responding to her husband or children without thoughtfulness or patience.

Her face remains crinkled up as if disgusted at the way the day is going.  Agitation and irritation sit on either shoulder convincing her of why she should snap back to her loved ones with a lack of kindness that is sure to drive away any inconveniences. A cranky wife pursues self-preservation.  Her posture and her body language reveal her attitude and outlook on life.  She lacks peace and her heart longs for rest.

A cranky wife loses intimacy with her husband.

I know because I have been a cranky wife.  I have seen my husband’s face turn curious as he looks upon his bride who morphed from pleasant to nagging, peaceful to raging, content to disappointed, loving to unkind…wondering to himself, what happened?

The cranky can last only a few seconds or it can trickle into days, months, years.

Why?

Why do we let cranky be ok?

I have allowed my heart to justify why I can let “cranky” come out and rule my life.  In those moments of weakness, I hurt my husband.  I fail to communicate in a gentle way and I hurt my husband.  In an effort to reconcile, yet still affected by my attitude I say, “Sorry, I am just cranky.” (Not really an apology, but more of a justification for my right to act however I want, disregarding those around me.) It hurts my husband.

How can we as wives resolve to not be cranky?

It is a choice of surrendering your flesh.  In those moments where cranky wants to come out and expose how you feel, you have a choice to lay down your justifications, take a deep breath, and ask God to help you be better.

I acknowledge this has been a difficult challenge for me as a wife.  I easily let my circumstances dictate how I feel.  But in my heart I know I have a choice.  I can choose to be better.  My marriage will suffer if I don’t.  I resolve to take a breath in those moments my flesh feels weak.  I resolve to think through my attitudes and actions before lashing out.  And I know that with God’s help I can change this part of my character and be a wife who does not allow cranky to rule.

Will you join me?

- Jennifer Smith    Unveiledwife.com 

photo credit: unveiledwife

This post is part of the month-long challenge From Grouchy…To Great.  Please check the series page for all of the posts! 

From Grouchy…To Great

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Comments

  1. crystalhaga says

    This is great! I’ve lost myself in marriage, I’ve allowed myself to become a cranky wife. God uses you to bless me everyday Jennifer! Thank you

  2. Melinda Todd says

    I can relate. My crankiness most often comes from letting my blood sugar get out of whack. My husband has learned after 20 years to ask me if I need to eat something. I hate when I get like that but when the blood sugar is low, I cannot think or act clearly. Not good. Thanks for sharing this. We need to constantly remember that our actions are choices.

  3. Ashleigh says

    I needed to read this. I’m very grateful you posted this. thank you so very much. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one with these feelings.

  4. DRJFB says

    I, too, needed to read this. Thank you. I feel like I’m spinning in episodes of crankiness these days. It’s so frustrating and depressing. Thank you for this post.

  5. Alicia says

    I needed this as well. Trying to balance being a great wife, mother, daughter, and friend can be extremely hard and puts a lot of pressure on me. I try to do my best but fall short daily and that causes me to take a lot of my frustration out on my family. I think its time tolet go and let gGod.

  6. says

    Oh, I needed this today! It’s been a very hard, stressful week and I can feel the “cranky” creeping in! Thanks for a gentle reminder to keep fighting those feelings for the benefit of my marriage/family!

  7. BeautifulCalling says

    Amen. Isn’t it incredible how right from the very first day of creation, God gave us the gift of choice?

  8. malikah says

    Thanks for the article I really need to shake that feeling.My question is after watching my mom submit,accept and pray for years while her husband continue to financially, emotionally and disrespect her in front of us I want to know when is enough do u continue praying but stay till whenever or leave for the sake of your kids to learn self respect.

  9. Patricia Cardona says

    It’s important to take practical steps towards healing too. There are physiological reasons for the hormonal & mood swings so it’s important to address your health, esp your diet. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself – exercise regularly, rest well, eat whole foods & meditate on God’s grace. Do what it takes to love yourself so you can love those around you & remember God loves you as you are.

  10. Elissa Philgence says

    Hi Jennifer

    You are so right, it is a choice we made to be cranky, but most times that choice not only hurt the people around us, husband and children, it hurts God more. God saw that man was lonely so He made woman to love, respect and care for man. However, we too need care and loving and it’s hard to feel that we are getting it when we are so busy doing our ‘job’.

    Yes, cranky can last for a long time and we need to learn to lay our burned at the feet of Jesus. It is hard and we ‘I’ want to hold on to the crankiness, to feel like we are in control.

    Blessings and your growing family.

  11. Heather Jerue Harbin says

    Thank you for stepping on my toes – in a good way :-). And reminding me that, while it’s not okay to stay there, I’m not the only one who gets bogged in the mire of crankiness. Blessings!

  12. Nancy says

    This is good but I wish I told you how to stop the crankiness. It seems like once it starts I can’t stop it. No matter how much I want to or how many times my husband says I’m cranky. It seems like an out of control animal.

  13. Jayme says

    Oh I don’t even know how I found this post. I am new here, but this spoke right to my heart! I am on the months of crankiness now, and I don’t even REALLY know way. It’s becoming a pattern or habit, and the line that read I easily let my circumstances dictate how I feel hit is dead on! THANK YOU for this post, and I am sure my husband thanks you too! :)

  14. Angela Pierce says

    What a wonderful reminder. Thank you!
    Proverbs 29:11 A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.

  15. Sharon Davis says

    You are probably right about this, but I feel that you don’t address possible other causes of “crankiness” which may be health related. As women our bodies and hormones do change over time (especially as we age) and to tell someone just to “make a choice not to be cranky” is a little demeaning.

  16. Gmom8 says

    Wonderful perspective. Surrendering is difficult when you feel like there are obstacles around you that dictate certain aspects of your life. For my family it’s allergies; seasonal, food and everyday airborne dangers to my family. I never know when one of my little guys will have a reaction, but when it happens my life is shifted off its axis with worry and blame.
    My husband works crazy hours so I’m always at it alone and although I know it’s not his fault, he’s the one who takes the brunt.

  17. Christina says

    I read this thinking that I would find some aspect of crankiness in myself that I should address, instead discovered that it described my husband to a T. :(

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