10 Ways To Create a Home of Warmth and Grace

We’ve all heard the familiar phrases”If mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy” and “Happy Wife, Happy Life”.  Even though we throw those words around in a fun light-hearted way, there couldn’t be more truth hidden beneath them. We as moms hold an honored position of making or breaking the mood of anger, discontent, and crabbiness in our homes.

Maybe you have found yourself like me, getting short-tempered with my kids when I wished I could have held my tongue or shown more grace in the heat of the moment?

10 Ways To Create a Home of Warmth and Grace

There can be so many reasons that we as moms end up acting out of our adam nature and not with a softened spirit-filled heart.  For me it is a daily journey to keep seeking the Lord, and examining ways I can prepare my home, my children, and myself for a good day. We as keepers of our dwellings, have the power to set our home’s thermometer in both practical and spiritual ways.  When I have bad days or stress-filled moments, I realize the degrees of joy, peace, and calmness in my home are a direct measure of my own physical, spiritual and mental well being.

Over the last year, I have been making some intentional changes to help me set a different tone to our home and cultivate more warmth and grace in the atmosphere. Here are 10 ways I found that help me to combat the anxiety and anger that can arise in my home.

10 Ways To Create A Home of Warmth and Grace

1. Getting Rest. I still stay up late sometimes so I have time with no one asking me to do anything at all.  It is a sacred quiet time for me. Scheduled bedtimes for my kids and myself gives me time to stay up beyond them and still get enough sleep. I see a direct link to whether I get enough sleep and how I handle my kids the next day.  If you have babies and can’t control your sleep patterns, then give yourself grace and do the best you can.  We have all been there and we’re cheering you on!

2. Time with God.  Spending time talking to God in prayer and reading the Bible has a strong impact on me as a mom. Maybe you are in a busy season and taking devotional time is next to impossible. Do what you can, when you can.  I wrote a post about the struggle I was having in this area, you  can read the post here, where I started giving up perfect hours for divine minutes.  I hope that post will encourage you to grab a few minutes here or there.  Staying in the presence of God gives me strength to be proactive rather than reactive when anger arises in our home.

3. Simplify Schedules.  We limit outside activities, or at least try to have seasons of off time to keep stress levels lower. I have learned to allow margin for rest, for fun, and just being together. I can tend to be task oriented.  When I spend direct one on one time with my kids, (Not just homeschooling them) playing a game, looking them in the eye and giving them my attention, the level of anger in my kids comes down considerably and we feel better.

4. Clutter Busting: Keeping a few most important areas of my home de-cluttered keeps me less stressed and less angry. Not perfect but picked up through the day. I am also trying to train my kids to pick up after themselves.  This is a hard area for us, but we keep working on it, and as we do it seems to bring a peace and a whole lot less anxiety for us all.

5. Giving up Perfection - The only one perfect is God.  I am reminded of this when I put too high of expectations on myself.  There is nothing that gets me more angry inside and lashing out then the pressure I put on myself to do too much. When we can let go of striving for perfect, we can rest in grace and let God work on our hearts.  This softens us to be better moms and wives.

6. Meal Planning - When I know what is for dinner first thing in the morning this makes the day go better.  Just planning it out is a simple thing to do, but sometimes I forget, and then I end up in a panic to get dinner made in time.  I love my crockpot for ease and anything I can do to make meal times smooth in the evening really helps all of us stay sane. The meal planning guides provided here on The Better Mom are a great place to start.

7. Having Mom Time Out:  Time outs are crucial for me to re-group and feel human. I encourage you to take time outs through the day.  Try to simply go to your bedroom for five minutes and breathe–this does wonders for us as moms. If your kids take naps, then you have some time to soak in the silence. Doing anything here or there for yourself is so important in refueling and rejuvenating. A date with your husband, reading a good book, any hobby or interest that is just for you is important to feed your soul and make you a calmer mother.

8. Playing Music: I play music every day in our home, and it works like magic. My kids might be fighting a lot or I might need to cool down too.  Music works so well to change the atmosphere of our home or to keep it peaceful.

9. Give Grace for Limitations: We are women with hormone changes going on all the time.  Hormones are a normal part of our ever-changing bodies, but it’s good to recognize them as a valid mood changer. Communicating with our kids and husbands when we don’t feel well, is a good idea.  Recognizing any medical limitations gives everyone in our home room to extend grace to each other.

10. Scripture Memory: Memorizing scriptures as a family, with my kids, and for myself has made such a difference in our home. When situations come up where we get angry, I  can turn to the scriptures we have learned and get my kids to recite them back to me, or I recite them as a reminder when things are not going well.  There is nothing that works better in the heat of the moment then saying out loud “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”! I encourage you to memorize scriptures with your kids and for yourself.

I hope these 10 ways to create a home of warmth and grace will be a guide for setting the optimal temperature in your home.  We as moms don’t have to have it all figured out, but together we can walk day by day to create a home that reflects Christ.

God Bless You!
Denise from Denise In Bloom

For your convenience, we’ve created a sheet of these 10 ways that you can print.  Click on image to print.

10-Ways-Warmth-&-Grace

This post is a part of our January 2014 Series

From Grouchy to Great Mom Series

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Comments

  1. Elissa Philgence says

    Hello
    Denise

    Thanks
    for this wonderful post. Well said.

    I too truly believe that we control the mood in our homes and also in
    our environment. When I get anxious about what mood my children are
    going to be in when they wake up, they get up in a bad mood, but when
    I expect them to get up rested and happy they most times do. It was
    then I started to realize I was projecting my insecurities on them.
    As mothers we do set the tone for the day and as you pointed out we
    have to ask God for guidance daily.

    Your ten tips are so important for us mothers and getting rest does top
    the list. To be honest giving up perfection is my number on down
    fall. That is one area I need to work on. You are so right only God
    is perfection and I believe when we put our imperfection in His hand
    He will make us perfect.

    Mommy time-out is other step I need to learn to take time to develop. I
    most time feel bad if I leave my children alone to take a minute for
    myself, but I am starting to see that sometimes they and I need that
    time alone to just be.

    Thanks
    again for your post and blessings on all that you do.

    • says

      Thank you Elissa for sharing what works for you, I love to hear how other moms handle these things as well. I know what you mean about the mom time outs, we all need to be reminded to do this, because it is so easy to get caught up into doing. God bless you as you honor the Lord in your mothering!

  2. Amy says

    too bad my attitude doesn’t rub off on the people in my home. I am pretty laid back. Right now it seems my two older boys fight almost everyday, all day. My oldest daughter is moody teen. My 4 yr old son has ODD, My other daughter all she does is pout and cry, and then you throw 2 more kids into this with a husband who doesn’t help out much…. I keep thinking that one day my personality will rub off but it hasn’t yet. and when they are like that I get explosive. They put me in a bad mood. So if you can help with this, that would be great. I do put myself in time out, they follow. I do read the Word, I am great while I am reading but as soon as I leave that environment I feel the drain of life get to me. Sorry to dump all this on you. I am just tired of everyday being the same. I want us to actually show some kind of different since we are suppose to be Christians. Will it ever change?

    • Shelley says

      Amy,
      I totally understand how you feel, almost in the same boat kiddo wise. I too, feel the immediate life sucking out of me when I leave my time of prayer or devotion and re-enter the battlefield. I think it’s just about small victories, and then eventually they become bigger. What about your husband? Does he help out at all when you say “Babe, I need a time out?” Sometimes it comes to that, we are afraid to ask for help, or at least I am..and prefer to stew in my irritation. That NEVER helps matters, lol. I do know that I can’t put expectations on my family to change, I can only live by example and give them them tools to change as well. Pray for them daily. I find the monthly prayer calendars (for topics to pray) are great at focusing in on one area and giving it to God. He will bring them around and help us to get the focus off the negative. Hope this helps…I know it’s so frustrating trying to keep our heads above water. I feel the same way.

      • Elissa Philgence says

        Shelley
        You are so right, as mothers we have a problems with asking for help from our husbands. If we are stay at home mothers we think we should be on top of everything, after all we are home all day right. I think it’s time for us to stop thinking that way and get help–note to self. Let us continue to pray for each other.

        Blessings and peace.

      • Amy says

        it’s nice to know I am not alone. I do ask but it seems he is always doing something himself or he really doesn’t understand my need. He’s here but not if you know what I mean. He grew up unattached to his family. So it is hardtop get him involved with us. He’s a “I’m gonna tell you what to do’ kind of person. Not lead by example. I have been starting to do things the kids are. If I tell them to clean the living room, I do it with them. I just feel nothing will ever change. saddens me. thanks for the reply.

    • says

      I am so sorry Amy for what you are going through. I have been through some very hard seasons in my life as well, those times where I didn’t think life was ever moving forward, but then all of a sudden there would come a break through or a glimpse of seeing God working in little ways in my husband and kids, and in me! I am praying right now for you and your household Amy, that God will sustain you to keep the faith and fight for your family. I know how difficult it can be to keep going day after day and not see results, Praying that you find a peace and purpose even when it seems impossible. Thank you for sharing your heart here, and please please don’t give up because it will change and one day you will look back and wonder how you made it, and I believe you will see how God had been working all along on your behalf. God bless you!!!

    • Elissa Philgence says

      Hi Amy
      Sorry to hear that you feel that way, but just know you are not allow. Many mothers go through what you are going through, but only some talk about it. I think, as mothers, we need to share more, the good and the bad so that we can encourage others. Believe me there are days when I feel all alone in this word. As if I am the only mother with problems.

      But take heart and pray daily. Something I do a lot is to write down my thoughts and feelings. That helps me to be focus on my own issues and on so much on my children. I pray that will help you.

      Blessings and peace for the weekend.

  3. Heather Fryfogle Strickland says

    I love these ideas! I do a lot of them. Meal planning,set bedtimes,morning time with God are my top three that I do. We are beginning to learn scripture together too. Thanks for sharing!

  4. Jamie says

    Excellent post! I thought it was spot on and a great reinforcer. Thanks for the encouragement! I would love to work on Scripture Memory. Happy New Year! :-)

  5. Dealish says

    Wow! Some of these ten points have been so helpful in my home. I can testify to these. .. as a mom to an infant I have to sleep early so I am not a grouch. If I end up staying up later than planned then I will put more music and do more playtime than housework.

  6. says

    Thanks for this inspiring post, Denise.
    Some seasons (sometimes a whole year) moms have to dedicate to child training; dealing with specific issues.
    Praying for all these lovely ladies who have commented here.
    Blessings

  7. Tasia says

    This is exactly what I needed to read! I have had such a rough week and just had so many “I feel like a terrible mom” moments it’s not even funny! I usually don’t read blogs to be honest because a lot of the times they all seem the same but reading yours gave me hope ans inspiration and I already feel like I can breathe! How do I subscribe?!

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