Raising a Son in an Unequally Yoked Marriage

Raising a Son in an Unequally Yoked Marriage

Are you a mom struggling to raise your kids spiritually all by yourself?

Are you in an unequally yoked marriage, trying to be the spiritual leader of your home? 

Well, I’m right there with you!

I accepted Christ in college but as per the norm in my country, I had to marry the person my parents chose for me (in India, arranged marriages still happen!). I could have gone against my parents’ wishes, but I respected their choice for me – someone who hadn’t experienced God as I had. It’s been nine years now and our marriage is going strong by the grace of God. My husband is still a non-believer but we do have a very happy life together.

Bringing my son up spiritually within my spiritually mismatched marriage is a challenge at times.

  • Like, when my husband doesn’t take the right spiritual stand while correcting my son and I just have to submit to him.
  • In choosing my son’s Sunday school.
  • Teaching him biblical principles when my husband doesn’t exactly follow them.
  • And me… yearning for a spiritual leader at home!!!

There are days when I feel lost, with no one to turn to for spiritual support. And there are times when self-doubt hounds me… Am I raising my child up right? Am I messing up? I know God has given my son to me, that I might raise him to be a warrior for HIM. But this has also put a lot of pressure on me.

When I read all the mommy blogs (I am indeed blessed by them, for it their ministry that led me back to God in a profound way!), I used them as my measuring stick and set my expectations way too high. I felt I needed to teach my son the Bible a particular way, do this activity with him, use that book… I put too much pressure on myself and ended up feeling incapable as a parent. What I forgot to take away from those christian bloggers, is that they do all of it with Jesus.

Sure enough, God helped me realize this fact in His time! He doesn’t want me to do it alone… WOW!!!

God pointed out through various Bible verses and Christian parenting books that He is there with me every step of the way. My Father in Heaven is my spiritual leader and I just need to look to Him. He covers for me when I stumble… when I forget to display grace, and when I mess up.

Raising a son in an unequally yoked marriage isn’t easy, but I don’t have to do it alone!

I cannot be with my son every waking moment… but God can.

I cannot protect him from accidents, diseases, bad relationships… but He can.

And I cannot make my child accept Jesus as his Savior… only He can.

There are things that are completely out of my control. I am limited but my God is not limited in any way!

I just need to trust in God and direct my son to Him. I need to plant the seed and nurture it; the rest is in His capable hands. Above all, I need to remember that my son is God’s creation, one He knitted together uniquely in my womb. And He loves my child more than I do!

Don’t let the evil voices lead you to think you cannot parent your kids effectively in a spiritually mismatched marriage. You can, in God’s strength, be the spiritual guide your children need.

On a practical note, use day to day instances and conversations to speak to your kids about Jesus and His great love. Always reassure them, that no matter what happens, God is with them: He will never leave them nor forsake them.

Do your best to lead your children to Christ, portray Him in your words and actions, and above all, pray for your kids. Be willing and faithful to follow God’s leading, even (and especially) when you feel you’re not doing a good job. It’s only a matter of time before your children (and your husband) experience a personal relationship with God!


Sunu Philip ~ ClothedInScarlet.org

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  1. Melanie says

    What a blessing and encouragement your blog post is to me this morning. I, too, am in a spiritually mismatched marriage and can so relate to all the emotional ups and downs you wrote about. It’s so reassuring to know that I’m not alone. Thank you. :-)

    • Sunu Philip says

      Thank you Melanie. Oh..you are not alone. These ups and downs used to drain me. Praying God will give you the strength and wisdom as you walk with Him!

  2. Shonda Knowlton says

    I am not in your situation exactly, but there are many days when I feel like I am the only one leading our children spiritually. Thanks for sharing your heart. I am so amazed at what God is doing in your life! Thank you for being a strong woman of God with a servant heart. I am so blessed to know your story and be praying for you!

  3. sarah says

    Thank you for this blog post! My husband walked out on me and our three kids for someone else. my goal everyday is to raise my children with biblical principals but it can seem overwhelming when they don’t get any of that from their dad. My five and seven year old daughters often ask me if daddy believes in God, which breaks my heart. I am very scared of how I’m going to raise my (2 year old) son to be a strong Christian man when he doesn’t have a Christian father to look up to. I pray about this all the time.

    • Sunu Philip says

      My dear Sarah, I am SO sorry. Your comment made me teary…I am praying for you… and your kids. Trust in God…He will Deliver you.

  4. Amy says

    Other the arrange marriage I felt as though you were talking about my life. I thanks you so much for this blog. It was encouraging to me.

  5. Melisanne says

    Thank you for this post. I needed to read this. Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone in this, that as with everything, God is there and I don’t have to feel so inadequate.

    • Sunu Philip says

      oh Melisanne, you are not alone…! Well, I used to struggle so much over this…and then God showed me, He is right there with me…:)

  6. Nicole says

    Thank you! I am in a spiritually unmatched marriage. I was a prodigal daughter who came back to God after decades of running. My faith is a source of tension more often than not. And, I often feel as though I’m the only one so it was wonderful to read your post. I think this is an area that is often neglected in ministry. Thank you!

    • Sunu Philip says

      Oh..Nicole, I am also a prodigal daughter who left God along the way. But He is ever so faithful..He calls back His sheep by name. Just seek Him…everything else will be just fine!!

  7. Amy says

    Thank you for this post. It’s Divine intervention that I came across it. I too have felt totally overwhelmed at times. Your post is encouraging. This topic is not discussed enough. Our God really works in wonderful and amazing ways! Just look at all the people you have encouraged by posting this! God Bless and Thank you!

    • Sunu Philip says

      Amy, I love the way God directed you to this post. Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate it! And yes, you are right, Our God really works in wonderful and amazing ways!!

  8. chantelle says

    thanks so much for this encouraging post! i can’t explain to you how very much i needed to be reminded of God’s inability to fail and His limitlessness… i will refocus my attention to Him when i become frustrated by my blunders in raising my boys… thank you and bless you!

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