3 Principles that Impact My Parenting {Part 2}

Did you have the chance to read Part 1 of Three Principles that Impact My Parenting last month? If not, read this first, and then pick up below.

Principles that Impact My Parenting Part 2

Your value as a mom doesn’t have a price tag...because you are priceless.

Principle 2: There is Nothing Different Between a Toddler and a Teen

As a result of working with teens as a dorm mom at the same time I was raising toddlers, it became pretty obvious that they are the same creature when it comes to matters of the heart.  While a toddler is likely to throw herself down on the floor when she doesn’t get what she wants, a  teenager might throw her fists into the air and use a few more SAT words.

The heart issue is the same: submission.

Toddlers and a teens both throw a fit when they don’t get their own way. So imagine if the goal from an early age was to teach a tot how to communicate in appropriate ways while addressing the heart of the matter?  Our parenting techniques for accomplishing this goal can be different, but we can still pursue consistency.  When we offer a consequence, which will change with age, we need to stick with it — which means we better think carefully about the consequences we choose one that communicates truth and grace!

Principle 3: There is Nothing Like a Mom Who Puts On A Mentoring Mindset

Living with teens girls gave me the opportunity to watch their interactions with their moms. I paid attention to the nuances and uniqueness of every pair, looking to see what gave life to the relationship and what stole it away.

What I learned is that moms are irreplaceable, necessary, and appointed by God to be an essential part of their teen’s life. {click to tweet}

But I also learned that too many moms don’t see themselves this way.  They carry heavy and wounded hearts, believing they are not qualified and unable to speak into their teen’s lives. Oh sister, if this is you, I urge you to to turn to our Redeemer and allow Him to make beauty from the ashes of your past and to birth a new thing in you today. You are significant and needed in your teen’s life, especially if you have a daughter. She needs you to be an engaged mom and mentor.

Putting on a mentoring mindset (like the one I describe in Impact My Life: Biblical Mentoring Simplified) starts with a shift in your thinking, as you see yourself as the one responsible for teaching, training, and responding to the life of your child without the weight of having to fix, solve, and prepare for every problem!

With this mentoring mindset, it is much easier to put off the easily offended and often insecure mama heart, leaving room for God to work in your teen’s life. It means you can approach your teen with more purpose and less emotional drain, focusing on God completing the work He began instead of feeling the burden to do it for Him.

It has certainly been a unique motherhood journey for me, having experienced teen issues — like debates over clothing, curfew, and homework deadlines — with girls that were not my own. Looking back, I can see that God was equipping me to mother my own teens with a broader perspective and deeper passion. That is why I urge you to seek Him for wisdom and direction, putting off the advice of this world to embrace the Word applied.

I pray also that as you think on what I’ve shared, you’ll remember this truth:

Your value as a mom doesn’t have a price tag…because you are priceless. {click to tweet}

You are more than qualified to be your teen’s mom, because God made you just that!

Shine Bright & Beautiful,

Elisa

moretobe.com

 

:: For more encouragement and resources to help in your mothering-of-teens journey, visit moretobe.com and sign up for the next Online Mentoring Training Study that kicks off January 7th!::

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  • Katie

    I thought this was very good… even though I’m not married or have kids yet… MY PARENTS are and have and I’m the oldest of six! Sometimes I feel the need subconsciously to “fix” everything my brother’s and sisters do… it’s so HARD to remember that that is NOT MY JOB. That job belongs to JESUS! And as I prepare to be a mommy with my own little ones, I guess I really need to learn this!