7 Tips For A Healthy Marriage

tips-for-marriageA healthy marriage is a beautiful thing.  I believe a healthy marriage is a desire of every husband and wife when they say “I Do!”  Unfortunately we live in a fallen world, full of sinful people who are capable of making mistakes and capable of hurting others.  As husbands and wives experience the ebb and flow of marriage, the good times and the bad, the joy, the tears, and the anger, there can be moments of weakness where our fallen nature exposes the marriage relationship to erosion.

I believe it is wise for both husbands and wives to remain teachable, humble, and constantly investing into their marriage in order for them to experience a healthy marriage.  With that I would like to share this friendly reminder with you today, a list of tips to help each of us through our journey of marriage. Of course all of these are in addition to the greatest thing you can ever do for your spouse… love them! I am aware that there are many more tips that I could have included, but I thought it would be great if you shared some too! Please share your tips for a healthy marriage in the comments below!

7 Tips For A Healthy Marriage

1. Be Polite - When we first meet our spouse we strive to impress them.  We are appropriate, we use manners, and we are polite.  Somewhere down the road, once was new becomes familiar and comfortable, it can be easy for our bad habits and unruly behavior to slip.  However, if we desire to please our spouse by showing them respect, honor, and courtesy, then we need to be willing to be polite!

2. Use The Critique Sandwich - I also call this the manwich, because guys are sensitive to criticism, as it can seem disrespectful.  If you have a constructive critique that you believe will help your spouse be better, use this technique of sharing a compliment, then the critique, followed by another compliment.  This is a nicer way of sharpening your spouse!

3. Don’t Play The Blame Game - By always blaming others for your problems, you neglect the fact that you have things that you also need to transform.  Instead you must be willing to admit that you are wrong sometimes, that you make mistakes, and that you have flaws that need correction.  By taking the responsibility you will grow into a beautiful person, a mature person, and happier person.

4. Forgive Often - Please realize that your spouse is only human, meaning that there will be times that your spouse will not meet your expectations, may be forgetful, neglectful, or may even hurt you.  Know that they are a work in progress just like you!  Extend grace, just as God gives us grace for our shortcomings.  This will remove those negative feelings of resentment and bitterness that try to build walls between spouses and by forgiving you will open the doors to intimacy.

5. Don’t Interrupt Your Spouse - This one takes quite a bit of self-control.  We interrupt our spouse when we feel like what we have to say is more important, whether it is during a casual conversation or an argument.  You must show honor and respect for your spouse through communication by listening intently and taking turns speaking.  We should always be working on our communication skills in marriage!

6. Seek God Daily - One of the greatest ways to ever experience a healthy marriage is to learn from the One who created and designed it!  God has so much wisdom, advice, empowerment, encouragement, revelations, and disciplines regarding marriage that He wants to share with us, but we must be willing to spend time with Him daily.  Find a quiet spot, read His Word, and pray.  Pray for you to be a better spouse, pray for your marriage, pray for your spouse, and don’t forget to thank God for all that you appreciate!

7. Pursue Intimacy - Intimacy is the act of making yourself known.  In marriage it is crucial for husbands and wives to make themselves known to their spouse and for their spouse to as well.  As we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and transparent and honest, we build trust which leads to intimacy.  Don’t just wait for it to happen, go pursue your spouse.  Inspire connection through communication, dating, experiencing new things, fun and physical touch.  Take the initiative to pursue your spouse in confidence that it will lead you to a healthier marriage!

I hope that these 7 tips for marriage help you in your marriage relationship.  Please share any other tips you may have in the comments below!

 – Jennifer Smith    unveiledwife.com

photo credit: @unveiledwife

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Comments

  1. keltrinswife says

    Ahh yes, the blame game. Just played it last night. If you have kids, love your husband more than the kids. Another–don’t bring your mom or friends into your problems. 3’s a crowd. Be blessed:)

    • kristinlaughs says

      I said that once, about loving your husband more than the kids, and my friend looked at me like I had grown horns. I love my child, but he will grow up and leave one day and I will have this man still here with me. I don’t want to be a stranger to him. Children should not be the center of the family. They grow up to be little narcissists when that happens. God should be the center.

  2. Corrine says

    This is a fantastic list! Great reminders!

    One thing I might add is that sometimes, marriages (even good, strong ones) hit a rough patch. If the rough patch is lasting a long time or it just seems that the two of you can’t seem to get on the same page, love each other enough to humble yourselves and ask for help from someone like your pastor. Sometimes, what you need is a “tune-up” – something so simple that you couldn’t see because you were too close to the situation.

    An example: My husband and I have had a very good marriage – almost 11 years strong, and I can honestly say I love him more and more as the years go by. It’s an awesome blesisng. A couple years ago, our youngest son, an infant at the time, was going through major surgery. Our daughter, not even 2 years at the time, was having behavoral issues (strong willed child with whom we hadn’t figured out how to deal with yet), and life in general just seemed crazy. My husband and I just seemed to frustrate each other. Any attempt at having a conversation seemed to have us butting heads. We met with out pastor and his wife to find out where we were going wrong – we both knew we loved each other deeply, but we wanted to be happy again. The advice they gave us was so simple – and five days later when we were communicating effectively and happy again, we looked at each other and laughed over how simple the advice was. “Why didn’t we think of that?!?” we asked ourselves! And, seriously, the advice was simple tips about meeting each others needs better.

    Too often, I see couples who are unwilling to seek this kind of counsel together because of pride. But, it was one of the best things we could do for each other. Just because you need a “tune-up”, doesn’t mean that you have a bad marriage – it means you are human. Love each other enough to swallow your pride to get the outside perspective you may need to get you both back on the right track :)

  3. Jeanette says

    I understand that you should love your husband more than your children, But I think that should be up to a certain point. A man can leave you too. Your children will always be your children no matter what. A man not always.

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