A healthy marriage is a beautiful thing. I believe a healthy marriage is a desire of every husband and wife when they say “I Do!” Unfortunately we live in a fallen world, full of sinful people who are capable of making mistakes and capable of hurting others. As husbands and wives experience the ebb and flow of marriage, the good times and the bad, the joy, the tears, and the anger, there can be moments of weakness where our fallen nature exposes the marriage relationship to erosion.
I believe it is wise for both husbands and wives to remain teachable, humble, and constantly investing into their marriage in order for them to experience a healthy marriage. With that I would like to share this friendly reminder with you today, a list of tips to help each of us through our journey of marriage. Of course all of these are in addition to the greatest thing you can ever do for your spouse… love them! I am aware that there are many more tips that I could have included, but I thought it would be great if you shared some too! Please share your tips for a healthy marriage in the comments below!
7 Tips For A Healthy Marriage
1. Be Polite - When we first meet our spouse we strive to impress them. We are appropriate, we use manners, and we are polite. Somewhere down the road, once was new becomes familiar and comfortable, it can be easy for our bad habits and unruly behavior to slip. However, if we desire to please our spouse by showing them respect, honor, and courtesy, then we need to be willing to be polite!
2. Use The Critique Sandwich - I also call this the manwich, because guys are sensitive to criticism, as it can seem disrespectful. If you have a constructive critique that you believe will help your spouse be better, use this technique of sharing a compliment, then the critique, followed by another compliment. This is a nicer way of sharpening your spouse!
3. Don’t Play The Blame Game - By always blaming others for your problems, you neglect the fact that you have things that you also need to transform. Instead you must be willing to admit that you are wrong sometimes, that you make mistakes, and that you have flaws that need correction. By taking the responsibility you will grow into a beautiful person, a mature person, and happier person.
4. Forgive Often - Please realize that your spouse is only human, meaning that there will be times that your spouse will not meet your expectations, may be forgetful, neglectful, or may even hurt you. Know that they are a work in progress just like you! Extend grace, just as God gives us grace for our shortcomings. This will remove those negative feelings of resentment and bitterness that try to build walls between spouses and by forgiving you will open the doors to intimacy.
5. Don’t Interrupt Your Spouse - This one takes quite a bit of self-control. We interrupt our spouse when we feel like what we have to say is more important, whether it is during a casual conversation or an argument. You must show honor and respect for your spouse through communication by listening intently and taking turns speaking. We should always be working on our communication skills in marriage!
6. Seek God Daily - One of the greatest ways to ever experience a healthy marriage is to learn from the One who created and designed it! God has so much wisdom, advice, empowerment, encouragement, revelations, and disciplines regarding marriage that He wants to share with us, but we must be willing to spend time with Him daily. Find a quiet spot, read His Word, and pray. Pray for you to be a better spouse, pray for your marriage, pray for your spouse, and don’t forget to thank God for all that you appreciate!
7. Pursue Intimacy - Intimacy is the act of making yourself known. In marriage it is crucial for husbands and wives to make themselves known to their spouse and for their spouse to as well. As we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and transparent and honest, we build trust which leads to intimacy. Don’t just wait for it to happen, go pursue your spouse. Inspire connection through communication, dating, experiencing new things, fun and physical touch. Take the initiative to pursue your spouse in confidence that it will lead you to a healthier marriage!
I hope that these 7 tips for marriage help you in your marriage relationship. Please share any other tips you may have in the comments below!
- Jennifer Smith unveiledwife.com
photo credit: @unveiledwife