Once upon a time I had a vision of motherhood. It involved hilltops and harmony, sort of like The Sound of Music.
There was daily structure and soft sacrifices, like Ma from the Little House books.
And for some reason, I envisioned lying on green grass, making cloud shapes with my little ones. My ideals of motherhood did NOT involve grouchiness. Caroline Ingalls was never grouchy, Julie Andrews was never grouchy, and I certainly would not be grouchy either!
When I envisioned myself as a mother, I never envisioned God as part of my plan. I didn't need God in my plan. I was already put together! Except I'm not. I am grouchy. More often than I want to be.
And all too often I decide I'm going to fix my grouchiness. I'm going to pull myself together. I'm going to give it one more try.
Except I can't.
Motherhood has a way of bringing us to the feet of Jesus like nothing else. Motherhood brings us to the end of ourselves and pushes us one....tiny....bit....further.
If we don't learn to surrender to Jesus, if we don't learn to stop trying and start resting, this motherhood business will chew us up and spit us out.
We need to bring God back into our mothering. He needs to come before our homemaking binders and DIY improvement projects and fancy schedules. These things will not help us with our failings. We cannot do it on our own.
These words are on my heart like no other. I have lived in the valley of trying. I have prayed and sought God on the surface, but deep down relied on myself. I know the futility of our attempts at control first-hand.
To begin to release our anger and grouchiness, we must release ourselves to God.
Surrender. That's my one word about grouchiness.
And the most beautiful thing is, that's all God asks of us. He is waiting.
Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. Revelations 3:20
For more encouragement, check out From Grouchy to Great: Finding Joy in the Journey of Motherhood. It's a daily devotional with discussion questions to encourage you as a mom. Grab a journal and study through it by yourself, or gather some girlfriends and study together!
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