Are there times in which you wonder if God forgot about you?
Is the silence in the waiting making you wonder about His faithfulness?
I've gone through so many seasons with the Lord in which I've felt all alone, wondering what on earth He was up to because in the moment there was no evidence of His hand at work. In one particular season, following a rather abrupt and traumatic move to a new state, new job, new school, and new church, I found myself struggling with anxiousness and doubt over God's faithfulness. Can you relate?
I didn't know how we'd make it financially, although we could thank God for the timing of taking the Financial Peace University course at church before the move. It still didn't guarantee we'd be able to put the principles into place in our new situation. We worried ourselves into prayer, not only over finances but also at the other unknowns. How would our kids adjust to their new school? Would they find friends? Would we find friend?
Have you been there, transitioning from one state or country to the next? Or simply following God's lead in changing jobs or churches?
Change can be utterly anxiety producing.
It can make us question God's faithfulness even while we're walking in faith.
The unfamiliarity of my new life drove me to find security in something . . . anything. But instead of steadying my mind on the Lord, I became consumed with my everyday uncertainty. Worry took over, keeping me awake at night more and more. You know those fits and turns, when you catch the time on the clock and fight harder for sleep. Is there anything more anxiety-producing than that?
On this one particular night, months after our move, I couldn't take it anymore. I shot up out of bed, anger rising up from my soul with just as many tears.
"God, what do you want from me?"
It's kind of a strange question, when you think about it, as I was the one that really wanted something from God. Thankfully, He knew the difference as He spoke to my heart the core of the issue.
Trust? What on earth did God mean by that? I did trust Him. I do trust Him. Don't I?
The next morning I woke up agitated and restless.
Trust me. Trust me. Trust me.
Those words continued to play over and over again in my mind, driving me to seek the Lord. What did He want of me? How could I trust Him more? What about my current living lacked trust?
God was so gracious and gentle as He showed me that my trusting in His faithfulness was so very limited. I was great at trusting Him for those things I could see the answers to. I was okay at trusting Him for the little concerns. But when it came to the big stuff -- the kind that requires waiting and silence, time and patience -- well, in those situations my trust fails and anxiety grows. That's because I obsess over circumstances rather than focusing on God's proven faithfulness.
I fan the flame of my emotions rather than steeping my soul in His truth.
Can you relate? Friend, trusting God is a daily, moment-by-moment decision. It's about remembering His faithfulness in spite of our forgetfulness. That requires both looking back and digging into the Truth. If we turn our heads only slightly, can we see where God's provisions were clear, abundant, and blessed? If we turn into the Scriptures, can we find evidence of His faithfulness to His people from the beginning of time?
God's silence is not sign of unfaithfulness. It's an invitation to trust Him more.
Friend, I pray that you'll be able to trust in His faithfulness more and more as you consider His provisions and promises. May you have the courage to take baby steps of faith forward, believing the truth over your emotions moment by moment.
Growing with You,