Exhaustion usually captured me around 10 p.m. each evening and I could not make myself do one more responsible thing. After tucking in all four of my children, I always thought I would check some things off my list and finish more chores before I went to bed.
Somehow, I never seemed to get very far.
But, at times, after about 6 or so hours of hard sleep, I would awaken abruptly and realize that something was wrong. As I pondered my anxious feelings in the silent hours of night, I realized that at times there were dark shadows hovering over my soul, pressing in and making me feel trouble.
Sometimes when I mentally peered inside to see what was weighing so heavily, it was usually something related to worry, fear or self-condemnation.
“What if we don’t make enough money this year and can’t pay our bills?”
“My little girl’s asthma squares me. ‘What if she quits breathing?”
“Sometimes, my children seem so out of control. What am I doing wrong? Am I just a failure as a mom?”
“I don’t think I can make it through this year if something doesn’t change. My life is just too hard.”
Often the thoughts would pile high before I could get control of my despair.
As mamas, there will never be an end to the things that bring stress in our lives or that cause us to feel fear of what might happen or counting the ways that we have fallen short of ideals.
Years ago, one of my friends lost her husband in a terrible, sudden accident. Her children had nightmares about their daddy dying. She found that at night the shadows of life would trouble her more and she would become despondent.
One of her counselors told her and she told me, “We were never made to cope with our biggest burdens in life at night. Our adrenalin is down, our energy is depleted, the light of day is gone and our body has no defense to fight against the things that trouble our hearts.”
“Picture yourself, Sally, standing in heaven and opening God’s file drawer of “things to take care of” and put your problems, fears and burdens into His file drawer, one at a time and then close it and leave it there.”
I began to realize that this was a way for me to visualize rolling over the burdens that I was carrying that only God could take care of.
As I slowly learned to name my fears, and worries and place them in God’s drawer and close it to leave it there, to walk away without burdens, I began to breathe in His peace.
God wants to be our Father and He wants to be responsible to carry our burdens for us.
When I practiced leaving my problems in God’s hands, when I pictured placing them in His file drawer, so to speak and then closed it, and acknowledged that He was capable of taking care of all of my issues, I would mentally leave that place and seek to walk forward in the peace and grace he had promised to give me.
Perhaps this is what Jesus meant when He said, “My yoke is easy, my burden is light,” because if He carries our burdens for us, they will not weigh us down.
Today, peer into your own heart.
Are you carrying something that God wants to take from you?
Do you trust that in His time, He will show you His way and He will meet our needs?
God wants you to experience peace of heart and mind every day, all the time. So, reflect on what is troubling you and place it in God’s heavenly file drawer, don’t carry it and observe how faithful He is to accomplish what concerns us.
“Cast your cares on Him because He cares for you.” I Peter 5:7
“In peace I will both lie down and sleep, For You alone, O LORD, make me to dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8
Sally Clarkson, SallyClarkson.com