When You're Barely Making it as a Mom and You're Supposed to be a Wife Too

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Are you experiencing a season of exhaustion as a mom? When we are discouraged or fatigued in that role, it can feel impossible to manage, nevermind adding in the expectations we feel as wives! But our marriages matter, and as we seek to engage our husbands and intentionally work to partner with them, every other role in our lives will be blessed.

A few years ago my husband came home from work one day to find me in a not so good mood. I didn't say much but he knew by my body language that I wasn't doing so well. All it took was one question, "Is everything okay?" for me to burst into tears. No everything was not okay. I was exhausted. My days and weeks seemed so full I could barely breathe. On top of that I was supposed to somehow not only care for all of my children, but be a good wife too. I felt like I had nothing left to give and I felt like a failure. My husband thankfully responded graciously and offered to step in where I needed some help (He is an amazing man and for that I am thankful). Although I don't have babies or toddlers in the house anymore (no more sleep deprivation!), I do have tweens and teens and if I were being honest, there are days I still struggle with this. 

Are you experiencing a season of exhaustion as a mom? When we are discouraged or fatigued in that role, it can feel impossible to manage, nevermind adding in the expectations we feel as wives! But our marriages matter, and as we seek to engage our husbands and intentionally work to partner with them, every other role in our lives will be blessed.

I know you get it. I hear you on the blog. I hear you on the Facebook page. I hear you in my email inbox. I hear you on Instagram. You struggle too. There are days where you don't feel like being a good wife because, well, you're tired and talking to one more person or helping one more person or serving one person just feels impossible.

I want to gently nudge you, my friend.

Don't try to walk this road alone.

Don't withdraw from your husband.

God, not only in grace but also in wisdom, has "gifted" us with our spouse. When we are challenged by the stresses of life, our spouse might not always seem like God's good, wise, and gracious gift to us. But to keep in focus the vision of our marriage as a gift of friendship and companionship from God, we need to value and treat our spouse as the most important relationship.

It won't always come in a pretty little package. Marriage is both a blessing we receive and a battle we fight for in love, commitment, sacrifice, and grace. The challenge in marriage is not how it starts, but how it continues, grows, matures, and flourishes over time. The transition from marriage to family creates a whole new set of complexities and threats to the marriage relationship that can make it difficult to keep our marriage vows. The work of keeping the husband-wife relationship a priority requires a lot of effort. But it is worth it. As you work on your marriage, focus on being on the same page, and learn to tackle life together, your load will grow lighter.

Well, today is the day that my husband and I tell the world our story. Yes, it is a little scary to share your life and marriage as an open book (literally). But to be completely honest, we wanted to tell you about our marriage and our family and just our real everyday life ---sometimes great, sometimes hard, sometimes hysterical--- because we want you to know you are not alone. 

For Better or For Kids is about remembering that even when you feel worn out, over-extended, and neglected, you promised to be a team. Throughout the pages couples learn how to build a God-centered marriage instead of a Child-centered or Me-centered marriage, explore practical ways to parent together as one team, avoid the dangers of spouse-neglect and self-neglect, effectively communicate in the chaos, fan the flames and so much more.

You can Grab Your Copy of For Better or For Kids here:

Amazon

ChristianBook.com

Barnes & Noble

Family Christian

I would love for you to join me as we invite other husbands, wives, moms, and dads to make a vow to love their spouse with kids in the house. I'm 99.9% sure that you know at least one couple (besides yourself) who could use this book...this message right. now. Join us and tell him or her about it or better yet, if you have the means to do so, grab them a copy too. This sacred bond with intimate companionship and divine purpose is worth every ounce of energy required to hope for and work toward. Marriage will not always be what we expected or dreamed of, but marriage by God's design is good---very good!

THIS GIVEAWAY IS  NOW CLOSED

Because we are so thrilled to launch our book out into the world we are celebrating with a week of giveaways!! To begin our celebration of the release of For Better or For Kids this week we're giving away a beautiful custom print from Gracelaced, as well as his and hers Bibles to two winners!

This beautiful watercolor print is made by a wonderful friend of mine, Ruth Simons from GracelacedHer shoppe is full of all kinds of beauty and I knew this print would be a wonderful addition to any home...a beautiful reminder of the bond between a husband and wife.

The NIV Thinline Bible is the perfect Bible to take with you anywhere. It is one of my very favorites! His and Hers!!

Blessings,

Ruth Schwenk

Ruth Schwenk is the creator of The Better Mom, and along with her husband, the creator of For the Family. She is a pastor’s wife, mom of four energetic kids, a lover of coffee, and dreamer of big dreams. She loves leading, speaking, and blogging. Ruth is the co-author of Hoodwinked: Ten Myths Moms Believe and Why We All Need to Knock It Off and two forthcoming books with Zondervan. A graduate of The Moody Bible Institute, Ruth and her husband have been in full-time local church ministry for over fifteen years.