What did you think motherhood would be like? What did you think life would be like? If your reality differs from your expectations, it can be easy to become discontent or stuck in a cycle where you pursue perfection. Maybe today its time to embrace the mess and the beauty of what you have before you! Today we are looking at a couple of myths that are common in motherhood and fighting to see the truth instead!
Myth: You Are "Just" a Mom
Most of us are aware that being a mom isn't exactly an easy calling. It's demanding and sacrificial and personally, I think it's one of the few things on earth that will force holiness upon you like nothing else. Being a mom offers us lots of opportunities to practice righteousness in the realest way possible!
It's no wonder it's difficult when society tends to dumb down motherhood as if it's not a real job or real work. You're home all morning getting the children breakfast while putting their lunches together, looking for a missing shoe while settling a dispute between your 6 and 8 year olds when suddenly your two year old dumps a whole box of cereal on the ground.
Multi-tasking is a prerequisite for motherhood and if you don't already master this talent, you soon will learn quickly. Managing the daily chaos aside, raising children to be respectful and successful members of society is not something that "just happens". It takes intentional dedication and commitment to teach children everything from manners to respect and to train them in excellent work ethic and integrity.
These qualities aren't merely inherited...they are taught by us and learned by our children. Pouring into our children is a full time job.
Don't believe the myth that you are "just a mom", because no one else can be the mom YOU are to your children. You are the only mom they have -- no one can replace you or your influence in your children's lives.
Being a mom requires copious amounts of sacrifice and refining. But don't mistake being a mom as the entirety of your identity.
Our identity is found first in Jesus. If we fail to recognize this, we will always be found wanting in our role as mom. We'll always feel empty and that what we do is never enough. There is a fine line between being dedicated to motherhood and being dominated by it.
Ruth says it well:
"Your identity doesn't begin with being a mom. As much as God loves and delights in the calling of motherhood, your role as mom is not your core identity. It is certainly part of who you are and what you do, but it is not your primary identity."
Myth: Motherhood is All-Consuming and All-Fulfilling
When I was little, all I did was dream of being a mom. I treasured my baby dolls, loved babysitting, and just knew having children of my own would complete me -- or so I thought.
Being a mother is truly the best gift in this world, there's no doubt about that. But I falsely believed everything I was and did was supposed to be wrapped into my role as a mother. As a result, I felt guilty for taking pleasure in anything outside the scope of my children. I felt guilty for leaving home to meet with friends. I even felt guilty for needing it.
It wasn't that I was trying to escape motherhood; just simply that I had interests outside of it.
But just as being a mom isn't our core identity, so it isn't everything we do and enjoy---and that's okay!!!
Being a mom doesn't mean it's going to be rewarding and fulfilling all of the time. I think one of the most important things for a mother to do is admit that most of the time, motherhood is downright difficult and this is normal.
And maybe you just feel like all the pouring out you're doing is leaving you running on empty in every possible way. This is where we learn to recognize our fulfilling doesn't come from our role as mom, but from our Savior Jesus.
Feelings of disappointment, discouragement, and disillusionment are all normal parts of being a mom, but they don't define who we are or how well we mother. They just are. How we move forward with these feelings is what matters. Do we allow them to consume us or do we trust that Jesus has risen above these feelings and given us the tools we need to overcome?
So, how do we understand our role as mom?
"Your walk with Jesus will help you run the race of motherhood properly, with your eyes riveted on pleasing God, not others. Not even your family. Know where to fix your focus. Only our relationship with God should be all-consuming. Only our service to Him all-fulfilling.
All. The. Time."