When Parenting and Homemaking Are Harder Than You Imagined


When I was little, I had dreams of getting married, becoming a mom, and having a house with a perfect little front porch. I was just sure my husband and I would spend our days swinging on the front porch swing and drinking unsweetened iced tea, while the kids played in the green yard lined with a white picket fence.

I dreamed of a place that was peaceful and put together. A happy, cozy home.

And then real life happened. My picture that seemed so perfect in my mind was playing out quite differently then I had imagined.

…laundry, diapers, and never-ending meal prep… money woes, pet hair, dirty floors, dirty dishes stacked up… holiday stresses, and teaching my children to read... two kids with asthma, one kid with severe food allergies, five miscarriages… and a ministry/business God had for me that was bigger than I could've ever dreamed--- which made me a work from home mom.

I am going out on a limb, in complete honesty and with full expectation that some of you feel the same way I do: Parenting and homemaking is so much harder than I had ever imagined.

It really is.

You may feel like you can barely catch your breath.

When I was little, I had dreams of getting married, becoming a mom, and having a house with a perfect little front porch. I dreamed of a place that was peaceful and put together. A happy, cozy home. And then real life happened. The truth is it has all been harder than I imagined. Do I love it? Absolutely yes. But sometimes I need a little encouragement. My guess is you could use some too. That is what I am praying you find here:


The beauty of homemaking is that we can learn and grow in the areas we may be struggling in. There really are so many resources out there to help us! I know it can be overwhelming when trying to pick what books to read or resources to buy so I just had to share this with you.....

"Dishes are piled up in the sink. You’re pulling clean underwear out of the drier for your potty training toddler. Your kids need a bath (and a haircut, too). Dinner is looking like scrambled eggs (again). And you’re pretty sure you didn’t win any awards for “the Most Patient and Gentle Mommy” today.

In fact, on days like this you might be tempted to judge yourself even more harshly than that. Not only were you not at your best, but actually, you’re a terrible mom. A pathetic homemaker. The day was a disaster. You probably deserve an F minus in motherhood.

You snap a shot of your depressing laundry pile after the kids go to bed and share it on Instagram with a self-deprecating comment and the hashtag #momfail. It’s only meant as a joke, of course, but deep down it feels a little truer than you wish it did.

If this sounds even remotely familiar, you need to know two things:

  1. You are not alone. Most of us feel this way far more than we ever admit.
  2. All the ways you failed?? How awful you did today or last week? It’s just not true. You’re doing better than you think."

I’ve had these sorts of days myself.....even my optimistic self has succumbed to this wrong thinking. This is precisely why I am excited to share a brand new (and free!) video series created by two moms who have lived their fair share of #momfail days.

Stephanie and Beth are not only popular bloggers, but they’re also moms in the trenches. They’ve got 8 kids and almost 20 years of mothering experience between them.

They also understand and have the deepest compassion for moms who are working their tails off, but still hitting the pillow at night with a heavy heart and tear-stained face.

They’ve put together an honest, candid and incredibly encouraging series of three videos just for moms. It’s called “The Truth About #MomFail Culture: 10 Things You Need to Hear on the Hard Days”.

Each video is short – around 10 minutes, and you can watch it on any sort of device and whenever you’ve got a few spare minutes.

To watch the video series, just click this link and enter your name and email to sign up. You’ll get access to the first video today, and then one per day after that.

Also, I just really pray it is a blessing to you. Enjoy, my friend.





Ruth Schwenk

Ruth Schwenk is the creator of The Better Mom, and along with her husband, the creator of For the Family. She is a pastor’s wife, mom of four energetic kids, a lover of coffee, and dreamer of big dreams. She loves leading, speaking, and blogging. Ruth is the co-author of Hoodwinked: Ten Myths Moms Believe and Why We All Need to Knock It Off and two forthcoming books with Zondervan. A graduate of The Moody Bible Institute, Ruth and her husband have been in full-time local church ministry for over fifteen years.