I have a problem. Ok well I have several. But this is one that seems to weigh the heaviest on my heart as of late.
I want my children to have everything that God has for them.
And this scares me.
The reality is that I am 100% sure that what God has for them looks little like the life I want for them.
As hard as it is for me, I pray that they want Jesus more than they want me.
I want them to love God more—more then they love their friends, our family, and their comfort. And more than they love the dreams that I can conjure up.
The older my children get the more I realize just how little control I have over the testimony and story that God is creating in and through their lives.
With each lesson they learn, He is answering my prayer and He is teaching me to trust Him for their futures.
I am realizing that when it comes to my children, my four daughters, and their future, my biggest fears and my biggest desires somehow seem to be wrapped into one.
And I am learning to trust God with both.
When my girls were babies, I remember sitting in their nursery, rocking them and praying that God would give them a heart that longed to know Him.
Today I find myself praying this, “Lord she is Yours and I trust You with her.”
I surrender my desire to control my daughters.
I surrender my desire to manipulate their future.
I surrender my desire to overprotect, shelter and suffocate them.
I surrender my desire to be her best friend, first.
I surrender my dreams for her.
I surrender my need to be her source.
I’m totally open, dependent, and desperate for you to be in control as I let go.
I’m relying on the fact that you are God, and that you have created my daughters for Your purpose.
I pray that You will draw them to yourself.
I pray that they delight in You.
I pray that You be patient with them.
I pray that You provide for them.
I pray that You bless them.
I pray that You use them to be a blessing to others.
I pray that You mature them
....and ultimately, I pray that they show Jesus in their very being.
They are Yours.
I trust in Your sovereignty
I wait in expectation for Your providence.
Journeying with you,