“Mommy, when I grow up, can I be a mommy like you?”
I was simply overjoyed when those sweet little words came out of my daughter’s precious mouth. When raising young children, some days your strength relies on the encouragement of others. So imagine how I felt when I was receiving encouragement from the very subject of all my hard work.
All I could think was “Wow, I am doing it right! She wants to be like me!”
I grabbed her, squeezed her and with great delight I said, “Of course! When you grow up you can be a mommy! You can be anything you want to be!”
Well with these words, everything changed. I could see the twinkle in her eye as the light bulb came on.
She replied, “Anything?”
Still reveling in the moment and ignoring the signs, I answered with glee, “Yes, anything!!”
She then smiled bright and said, “Well then...I want to be a doctor! And a teacher! And a swimmer!”
This was not the response I was expecting. Little ole naive me had once again been duped by a toddler!
When a mommy was all she saw, it looked like a great option. But once her heart and mind had been exposed to what else was available to her…well she wanted it all!
And I couldn’t blame her because she was actually not much different than her momma.
I have been guilty of wanting it all.
So often I have prayed and begged God to give me something else, something more or different than what I already had, as if the place He had me in was just not enough.
I have wanted more. I have wanted different. I have wanted bigger, smaller, this, that and everything in between.
I have wanted it all.
However, if I am honest, this desire to have and be it all has created the foundation for much anxiety, worry and fear in my life.
Instead of embracing the moments that God has placed before me, I have been afraid that I am actually missing out on what He really has for me.
Scripture says that Jesus came to give us life more abundantly, right? (John 10:10) Well some seasons in my life have not felt like “abundant” life at all and I have been convinced that I have missed out on His actual plan!
Instead of being confident and secure in His love, I have been anxious over my weaknesses and worried that I am not enough.
Sharing those thoughts would have been quite confusing and extreme for my eager 3 year old, so instead of crushing her spirit with my issues, I smiled at her and said, “I pray you will be exactly what God wants for you to be!” And I meant it.
What I pray for my girls, for myself and for anyone else that struggles with wanting it all, is that we would submit those desires to God and rest securely in His plan.
Just like my sweet girl, too often I allow knowing the limitless options available to me to create an appetite for things that the You never intended for me.
I pray that you would alter my way of thinking.
Let my desire for You develop my options and lead my actions.
I ask that you replace my fears and worries with peace and security.
And I pray that you remove my anxieties of missing out and overwhelm me with a sweet confidence in Your Love.
In Jesus’s name, amen.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6"
Journeying with you,