These days I struggle to bend over the babe that grows inside of me. picking up clothes, toys, and unwanted food from under the table.
My senses are heightened with screams that could break glass. Whining that seams unbearable.
All day I can feel the pressing down. Laying down. It's my life for theirs.
Laying down for someone else isn't the most popular thing, I know. It doesn't look glamorous either. It's lack of sleep, a once in a while shower, interrupted bathroom breaks that aren't really breaks at all. A cold plate of food. Requests, demands, complaints.
For what? Why does the Christian mother put up with it? Why don't we tune out, run out, or zone out?
When Christ, the perfect one, the God of the universe laid down his life for us. We, the whiners, complainers, and demanders were shown grace. In all of our ugliness, he loved us first. He laid down first. We were undeserving.
So why? Why is it such a struggle for me to lay down my comforts for my children. Why do I fight for my needs? Why does anger find its way out of my mouth and pierce the heart of my child…just because they are making things difficult for me?
Maybe it's because the more difficult it is for me to lay down my life, the more I realize that I desperately need Christ. The more I want to walk straight and fulfill my needs instead of lay down and fulfill—I remember what he did for me. That is when I am humbled and praise God that he loved me first. He laid down when I was undeserving. When I was angry, selfish, and undesirable, he gave everything up for me.
I lay down because they need to see the love of Christ through my life. Like I was undeserving, they are undeserving. How amazing that I can model Christ's love for my children on the most difficult of days—and he will give me grace.