It’s tempting to tether our identity to the choices our children make. Whether those choices be stellar ….. or stupid.
When my son goes out of his way to welcome a boy who was hesitant to attend youth group, and the mom of the boy graciously texts me to let me know what my son did, it’s easy for me to proudly think, “Nice work, Jeannie. You’ve taught your son about being thoughtful and kind, so clearly you’re a good mom.”
And when my son goes out of his way to hide the third round of soda and candy he bought at the fair, it’s easy for me to sarcastically think, “Nice work, Jeannie. You’ve taught your son about the importance of honesty and listening to the “Holy Spirit nudge” in their hearts, but you’ve apparently failed at raising boys who exhibit integrity so clearly you’re a bad mom.”
This is a daily surrender. Not tethering WHO I AM to WHAT THEY CHOOSE.
Maybe you too have been tempted to believe that your child’s bad choices makes you a “bad” mom? Or your child’s good choices makes you a “good” mom.
Well, this is just ONE of the TEN myths my friends, Ruth Schwenk and Karen Ehman, address in their new book, Hoodwinked.
They write, “Moms have been hoodwinked—tricked into believing lies that keep them from not only enjoying motherhood, but forging friendships with other moms who might tackle the tasks of motherhood differently.”
So they’ve written a book that will help moms:
Identify the ten myths of motherhood our current culture perpetuates
Replace the lies with the truth of what God says in the Bible about mothering
Acquire practical tools to help them form new and improved thought patterns and healthy behaviors
Forge healthy, supportive relationships with other moms of all ages and stages
Confidently embrace the calling of motherhood as they care for their families in their own unique way
Who doesn’t want that?
As I was privileged to write in my endorsement of this book, “Hoodwinked is for every mother who has ever questioned her parenting ability. Ruth and Karen have teamed up to equip women to silence the destructive motherhood myths with the freeing truth of God’s Word.”
Lean in, friends, and be encouraged.
You are not the sum of your child’s choices.
Your identity is firmly anchored in the perfect work and record of Jesus Christ on your behalf.
Do you have a significant influence on the choices your children make? Absolutely! Should you seek to lead them in making good choices and equip them with skills for Godly living? Of course!
You are important. Massively important. And it is a good and right thing to be proud of the stellar choices your kids make. And to be on your knees in prayer over the stupid choices your kids make.
BUT, your identity is not tethered to those choices.
Your identity is in being a completely known, fully accepted, and unconditionally loved daughter of the King.
So walk in freedom. Parent with grace. And pick up a copy of Hoodwinked to silence the ten myths that are trying to steal the joy from your parenting journey.
All is grace,