Many times couples get married and start off so excited about starting their lives together as husband and wife. They have fallen in love and enjoy spending time together, and everything feels new and exciting!
However it's not too long before real life kicks in and the newness wears off. Sometimes romance doesn't come as easy and life can get hectic! Our schedules get crazy, babies are born and trials often enter our lives. When this happens couples can forget how to connect!
Often years go by and you feel you no longer have anything in common and hardly remember why you feel in love with this person at all!
My husband and I have been married 20 years and we have learned through the ups and downs we have to find ways to connect! We have worked hard to not just build a marriage but a friendship! This doesn't "just happen" , it is an intentional thing you have to work on together! It doesn't always come easy either, sometimes past hurts or regrets stand in our way! If that is you today I encourage you to change that in your marriage this year! I promise you will not regret it.
I wanted to share with you today some of the things that have helped us these 20 years, hopefully you can take a couple of ideas and add some of your own!
Date nights - I know you have heard this quite a bit and you don't need to have date nights to have a strong marriage but they do help. They are an intentional thing you plan to do together and it is scheduled time for just the two of you. I know some of you have young children and it's hard to get babysitting. I have been there, when I was younger I had two in diapers and one preschooler. I remember those years! Here is a list of 10 stay at home date nights and for the ones who can get out, here is a list to get you started.
Exercise together- Maybe you are not hikers or ones who make time to go the gym, then I would encourage you to just walk together. Walk down your street-simple and easy to make time for! Take your stroller if you have to and just spend time talking and doing something for your health.
Read together - This doesn't work for every couple but if your husband is up for it, pick a marriage book or devotional to do together or maybe you both love a good mystery or fiction book. My husband is not as big of a reader as I am but he loves it when I read to him. So often I will pull out the kindle and read him a book that interest him. Sometimes it takes us months to finish a book but we don't care, we just enjoy it together.
Working side by side - My husband does all my pictures for my blog, he helps me in all the design stuff because it's his gift. My mom used to help my dad every year with his business taxes. They would get all the receipts/bills, together every year and spend a whole day working on it. I know that doesn't sound exciting but you can take an event like that and make it a fun tradition.
Take time for intimacy - Another one you hear a lot about, and I can't stress it enough. There will be days or even seasons where it is the only thing holding you together. Savor it and enjoy it, you never know when it will be taken from you. I know a few young ladies who have become widows recently who miss their man's touch and presence so much. They would kill to have one more night with him. Enjoy it all! As you get older health issues and so many other things can effect this area in your life, don't squander the time you have while you are young, enjoy every intimate moment together.
Find common interests - maybe your interest have changed over the years, if so find new ones. You may have to think outside the box on this one but you can do it. Some ideas:
- Find a tv series on Netflix you both love and watch it together after the kids go to bed(my husband I make a list of shows to try together) some we like, some not so much. but it is always fun trying new ones out.
- Share music together- my husband and I can spend hours sharing music together and although we have very different taste in much of it, we have found some generes we both love and it's so fun to share.
- Start a hobby or interest list- working puzzles, running together, board games/cards, or flea marketing as a couple. I have fond memories of seeing my inlaws cook and paint together. They both had a mutual love of these things.
If you are married to a believer make sure you are spending time in prayer and in the Word together. Serve together and get involved in church as a couple. If you are not married to a believer keep praying. There is a lady at my church who is 91 years old and she prayed for 30 years for her husband, one day he walked in the church and gave his life to Christ. He is now home with his Savior!
Connecting as a couple is so important. One day your children will move on to families of their own and you don't want to look around only to find a stranger in the room! Find ways to be intentional in your marriage today!
Angela, Together with Family