Saying No To 100 Things

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We all want to be the best mom, wife, employee, PERSON, we can be. We all struggle with who creates that criterion.  As we walk through this month together trying to find balance as busy moms, I wonder if we can talk about why we're so busy.  Who or what dictates what makes us best?

Am I the best mom if I attend PTA meetings?  What if I am room mom?  Does homeschooling give me extra points?  How about team mom?  What if I keep score at the baseball games?  How about leading AWANA?  Driving carpool both ways every week gets me something, right?

Do the best wives make dinner every night?  Do they keep the house clean?   Are they always at home?  Do they listen well?  Does attending couples Bible study count?  How about reading Power of a Praying Wife and then actually praying?

Being on time and having a good attitude puts me in the running for employee of the year, doesn't it?  What if I bring snacks once a week for everyone?  Oh, twice a week?  I bet remembering all coworker's birthdays will make everyone like me, right?  And what about volunteering for the projects no one else wants to work on?

I know many of these questions go through my head and they just make me tired.

focusNot only do NONE of those things make us the best mom/wife/employee, etc, but focusing on so many things makes us tired.  And spread thin.

Are we allowing God to tell us what makes us best or are we letting our society dictate what's expected?

“The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.” Psalm 138:8

Steve Jobs gave a talk when he came back to Apple and turned their prospects around.  What he said can apply just as much to mothers as entrepreneurs:

People think focus means saying yes to the thing you've got to focus on. But that's not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully.

Our first order of business:  what is our focus?  Please hear me:  not every woman will have the same focus.

Some mothers have small babies, some have older children and need to think about schooling them at home or sending them to school.  Some families have all of their needs me by one income, but some women need to work - outside the home or from home.  Some children have special needs, bringing up a whole new focus for Mom.  Some families value athletics while some value academics.  The list is long and varied, so please understand that

your focus might not be the same as someone else's, and that's okay.

Here are some ideas for focuses:

  • God
  • family
  • work
  • home
  • church
  • children's sports and activities
  • involvement at school
  • sleep
  • health
  • fitness
  • outdoor family time
  • indoor family time

Once we choose the focuses that matter to us, we start saying "no" to the things that get in our way.  Just because something sounds good, doesn't mean it will help us attain what we're focusing on.

Tell me, what things are getting in the way of your focus?  What should you start saying "no" to?

Ultimately, what makes me the best mom/wife/employee I can be is Jesus.  His guidance, His love, and His acceptance.

This post is part of our series Finding Balance as a Busy Mom. 

Please check the series page for all of the posts!

Finding Balance as a Busy Mom