Kristen is wife to a man who calls her lady and mama to 3, five and under. On Tuesday's, you might find one of them wiggling on her lap as she teaches piano lessons from her living room to community children. She tells the story of seemingly ordinary days with real life photos and fresh words that fill her heart at nap time. She cherishes childhood. She values home. She embraces life. And she celebrates them at www.littlehousedomestic.com.
It made me think of the long tables in Mrs. Henley's kindergarten classroom. The over-sized primary-colored crayons. The large red pencils. And the fresh, shiny textbooks. I never go back to kindergarten. But I did yesterday when I shopped for our 2012-2013 curriculum. I walked in the Raleigh Homeschool store and felt my heart rate climb. I was back in Kindergarten one minute and standing in the doorway of my own 4th grade classroom the next. Memories distanced by 20 years. And I enjoyed this dance in my head.
My first visit to the store, because it was important to me that I went solo, at least for my first visit...and I was not disappointed. A blessing, for sure, that I already knew what we would use this year. Otherwise, I'd have turned around. I cannot buy on impulse. Not curriculum. There were moms, and 1 dad, (go DAD!) meandering the aisles of abundant books and resources. And I seemed to always be nearby to 2 sweet mom's (must have had same age kids). And they with their young one's. One mom, obviously had homeschooled for some time. The other, new...toting her infant, bouncing him while trying to decide on All About Spelling, or A Reason for Spelling for her son who pined through used picture books. She would ask her friend, "What do you use?" "What do you think I need?" "Do you think this will work for him?" Her spirit anxious...evident by her voice, her face. And her friend...a bit chatty, speaking to her fast, mumbling to herself about what she'd like to buy, her thoughts coming out as she looked for something particular, and frequently interrupted by her son which seemed to be an annoyance, she was no beginner.
I wonder if the new homeschooling mom, much like me, scooted into her van and felt nothing less than overwhelmed and inadequate? I don't know which spelling curriculum she chose, or reading. Or math. Or if she felt that failure would find her if she chose something less than perfect? That road is too easy to travel down. My heart was heavy for her, because I was watching myself actually, realizing how quickly we as mom's allow ourselves to compare what works for our family with what the mom next door does. And we are overcome with a notion that we're doing it all wrong. Or that we are inferior because we are struggling daily while other mom's are unquestionably flourishing!
And whether it's how to discipline a strong-willed child that takes you to the end of your mommy rope some days, or which spelling book to buy, we so easily forget what it's all about. That these are mere moments. And that we weren't made to shoulder them alone.
Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you...Psalm 55:22
SUSTAIN!! He will favor you! Feed you. Comfort you and keep you going.
May I keep my eyes on the One who makes all things new...including this mommy's sometimes weary heart. Because in the end, the spelling book choice doesn't matter.