However, growing up I never gave that thought room in my mind to develop. The idea of having to endure the pain of childbirth struck fear into my heart. Even as a wife I tried to convince myself that I did not want children, and the intimacy struggle I faced in my marriage was enough to keep that desire far from me. Inadequacy as a wife overwhelmed me; I couldn't imagine how my insecurities would amplify if we had children. (Read more about my intimacy struggle on my about page.)
After 5 years of marriage and God fulfilling intimacy in our relationship, I began to soften towards the idea of building our family. A yearning to have a child rose up in my heart and not just mine, but my husband’s as well.
The more often we mentioned the blessing a child would bring into our lives, the greater our desire to extend our family became. My husband and I began to pray about God's will for us to have children; it wasn't long after that I found out I was pregnant! We are expecting our precious baby November 8th of this year.
Throughout my pregnancy I cannot seem to satisfy a specific reoccurring thought: What kind of mother will I be?
Beneath that question resides a variety of other questions, including many of which stem from a heart of fear.
Instead of dwelling on my insecurities or obvious faults I hope not to pass down to my children, I am choosing to have faith that I will fulfill my role as a God-fearing good mother. I am determined to live my life in a way that will promote a healthy family, reflect God's ways and leave a legacy of virtue through my children. However, I realize that I must be intentional about preparing myself as a mother.
Here are 3 ways to help prepare me (or you) for motherhood:
Digging into God’s Word is one of the best ways to gain wisdom and understanding on topics that are relevant to how we should live our lives, including marriage and parenthood. The Bible is a manual for how we ought to love, interact and teach our children.
There are also shelves of parenting books out there filled with great information on child rearing. It is vital that we are willing to pick them up and make time to scan them so that we will be able to develop knowledgeable opinions on what to do or what not to do as a parent.
Mom Blogs are another resource packed full of relevant, relatable content. A Blog post is generally easier to read than committing to an entire book, highlighting necessary and encouraging matter. They also provide a ton of personal experiences, how-to’s, recipes, devotionals and more, treasures for any woman searching to better her family.
Befriend another woman – or a few women - who have experience in motherhood; someone who has a great reputation with her children. Do not be afraid to open up, be vulnerable and ask the intimate questions of childbirth or parenting. Having a friend you can trust and admire will affirm your approach to your children. There is something special about this kind of relationship that I believe every woman needs.
Check out some online forums. This is a great way to get connected with other moms, especially over specific topics. A forum is a great tool that provides easy access for anyone to ask questions and share experiences.
So often people read a scripture in the Bible, stumble upon rich parenting advice or perhaps come across an organic solution to cleaning methods, yet hesitate to put them into practice. If we are going to be good moms who set an example by how we live, it is crucial that we apply the principles or solutions we discover and agree with, the most important being God’s values. Do not procrastinate or wait for an easier window to change, just do it!
These are 3 ways that I am confident will prepare mother’s for the greatest blessings we could ever experience in our life.
Do you know of any more ways that could prepare women for motherhood? Please add your contributions in the comments below.
- Jennifer Smith www.unveiledwife.com
photo credit: @unveiledwife