Love Your Husband, Love Yourself

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Marriage today is not deemed as sacred as it once was. Even among Christians. The divorce rate is about the same for Christians as it is for non-Christians. Why is that?

Somehow we've allowed ourselves to justify marriage as a practice that's sole purpose is to make us happy. I also believe a large part of it is we are not surrendered and living for Christ as we should. Finally, we have failed to put our husbands as a priority in our life.

Putting your husband's needs ahead of your own, by definition, means that some of your own needs may go unmet while you focus on fulfilling his. -Love Your Husband, Love Yourself, pg 11

Jennifer Flanders recognized this problem in marriages that were suffering and decided to address it. Love Your Husband, Love Yourself closes in on an underlying problem in many, many marriages, and that's loving our husband's physically.

Jennifer draws several conclusions that point back to this same problem. She starts off by touching on that aspect of the subject before diving head first into how the solution can help your marriage in dramatic ways.

Here are some of the reasons intimacy is so important for a man:

  • It's physically healthy {for both men and women}. It protects against heart disease, cancer, and a host of other illnesses.
  • It relieves stress. Really, need I say more?
  • It protects  the long-term stability of your marriage. Not only does it allow you to connect closely, and often, it helps prevent unfaithfulness in the marriage by unmet needs. This is not a guarantee, however. But it certainly helps abundantly.

Beyond the importance of intimacy, which Jennifer generously talks about, having notable resources for her research, she goes on to talk about loving our husbands unconditionally.

The best way we can show our love to our husbands, is to respect their leadership by allowing them to lead. Sometimes this is very difficult because of a wife's past, whether growing up or a past relationship. Sometimes it's hard to trust.

Loving our husbands unconditionally means loving them even when they fail or don't live up to our particular standards.

You married a man, not a child, so don't treat him like a two-year old. God never intended you to mother your husband, but to admire him. You are to be his confidante, not his conscience. He needs your respect, not your reprimands. pg. 214

The author also writes extensively on building up our husbands, celebrating our differences, taming our tongue, fostering friendship, learning forgiveness and much more.

This book is packed with marriage goodness. It really addresses the major problems in marriage and shows us what the Bible says about how we are to respond and live in unity with one another. We are each given specific roles and specific directions. God knows what is best for us and for fostering a healthy marriage.

That doesn't mean it will always be easy. We must remember to lean on God and go to Him when we struggle.

I recommend Love Your Husband, Love Yourself.

Though, the title can be a little misleading, only because nowhere in here does it talk about "things to do to love yourself". It simply talks about how loving our husbands helps us to love others better. Loving Christ first, helps us love our husbands.

This book was given to The Better Mom in exchange for this authentic review. Some links are affiliate links.

 

Christin

Christin is wife of 16 years to her high school sweetheart and mother to seven children. She looks for beauty in the simple and appreciates a good cup of coffee. She is learning to live everyday with joy, find gratitude in the mundane, and speak words of grace. You can find Christin writing through her days on her blog, christinslade.com.