Clang! Clang! Clang!

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1 Corinthians 13 love chapter If you've followed my posts either here or on Whole New Mom, then you know a little bit about me.

- I love to cook and I care about whole food and healthy living.

- I have a child with autism (Asperger's Syndrome).

- I like all things frugal.

But one thing you may not know about me is that in all of these areas, I am lacking.

I can easily write it off as something else, but frankly, what it really is, is that sometimes I have not love.

If you follow my blog, it might seem on the surface like

- I just peacefully whip up new treats like Coconut Milk Ice Cream and Smooth Bean Fudge (yes, I mean it :-)) and serve them to my family with joy every day.

- Or happily buzz around the house figuring out DIY projects like Soothing Jojoba Face Wash.

When what really happens might be something more like this --

-     I plan to make a new recipe alone so I can get it done quickly. My kids want to help or start interrupting. I mess up my recipe and tell them harshly that they have done so. The kitchen ends up looking like a tornado blew through it (really) and the treat maybe didn't even turn out right.

-     I find a great DIY solution, but gripe at my kids while trying to get a photo for my blog so I can "help others" with my great time and money-saving idea.

-     When my husband comes home I unload on him about these things and also about our vanishing retirement account.

Whoa -- I need to bless my family first.

If I may, here's an analogy from the great Love chapter in the Bible (1 Corinthians 13) -

If I spend time whipping up Healthy Almond Joy Bars and Homemade Chocolate Chips and developing new treats, but gripe when my kids "help" and make a big mess instead....

If I learn how to save money by making Homemade Dishwasher Rinse Aid, but fuss when my son knocks over the bottle of vinegar all over the hallway floor...

If I work hard to find Natural Treatments for Autism and don't celebrate the gift that my son is today - Asperger's and all.....

If I focus on whole foods and healthy living, but have not love,

Then I am a clanging cymbal. Clang! Clang! Clang!

I know, I know. We all gripe, complain and fuss and worry about our kids.

But I don't want to excuse my sin away. My heart's desire is to move in the other direction.

Away from fussing, griping, and trying to fix.

Towards embracing. Understanding. Accepting.

Away from clanging.

Towards Him.

My mission for tomorrow --

Bake Pumpkin Cookies with my boys.

Let my younger one put his hands in the flour, get pumpkin on the floor and write numbers on the chair with flour (he did that today) without any clanging.

Let my oldest one ask as many questions as he wants. Even the same worries over and over. Instead of clanging, hug him.

When my husband comes home, greet him with a big hug and a kiss even if I am covered with flour and the cookies aren't done (or are burned).

I plan to celebrate their lives. The mess. The wonder.

Of being their mother. Of being his wife. Of being given the gift of being one of my children's teachers in life.

God - give me strength and love and patience.

And dear readers, feel free to ask me how I did :-).  Accountability is a good thing.

Care to share an area where you struggle or where you have had victory?

If this post has been an encouragement to you, please consider sharing with others.

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