words - The Better Mom

Your Words Matter In Marriage & Parenting

September 4, 2012 By Unveiled Wife

Words are exchanged everyday. Whether written in a note to remind your husband to take the trash out or said aloud to a child to encourage him or her to eat their vegetables. Words are one of the basic forms of communication… and words matter!

Jesus expounds upon the importance of words in Matthew 12:33-37:

“Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Jesus teaches that the words we speak come from what is in our hearts. For example, if we are harboring bitterness or anger towards our spouse, than when we respond towards them our words will reveal those emotions. Likewise, if we are joyful and appreciative, we tend to share words of affirmation and love.

Have you ever been aware of this happening in your marriage?

I realized that when I feel discontent about our circumstance, my heart feels the weight of anxiety. When given the opportunity to speak to my husband, I will snap at him, I am short with him, and often times my comments to him are biting. On some occasions I bring things up as a way to hurt my husband, motivated by the thought that he should hurt as I am hurting. As my words affect my husband, tension in our relationship ensues. My actions are not ok. I repent of how I use my words to manipulate just to get a point across.

The Holy Spirit is also revealing to me that my words towards my husband and his words towards me will have an affect on our child. Over time our actions will teach our son examples of behaviors that will determine how our son responds to others. This motivates both of us to work on what words we use and how we use them.

Our words matter.

Not just our words, but how we present our words matter. The tone in our voice, the posture of our body language, and the attitude behind our words all matter.

Jesus continues by telling us that everyone will be accountable for their own words. Our words matter because they will be judged.

Before our words change, our hearts need to change, and only Jesus can help us transform our hearts. So when you notice that your heart is holding onto negativity, frustration, bitterness, or anger, go to God first, asking God to help you change your heart. As you pursue righteousness in this way, your words will reflect a heart after God’s heart and that is powerful!

Our marriages and the legacy we establish will be affected by our words. I hope this reminder that our words matter encourages all of us to understand the responsibility we have as a spouse and as parent to be aware of our words, including our tones, body language, and attitude.

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” – Proverbs 18:21

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” – Ephesians 4:29

Please read James 3, Psalm 19:14, Colossians 3:8, Proverbs 12:18 for more Biblical teaching on words.

- Jennifer Smith, www.unveiledwife.com

photocredit: @unveiledwife

Being Intentional With Our Words

February 23, 2012 By Angela

One of my New Year’s resolutions this year was is to be more intentional in my life. One of the areas in my life I’ve been focusing on are my words. Lately I’ve really tried to “listen” to myself as I talk to my children and my husband. I’ve paid attention to the words and tone that I’ve been using with them recently and I have to admit some days I haven’t always liked what I have heard.

Such was the case one day last week. I have to be honest. I was just having one of those days. I felt like I had spent most of my day disciplining one of my daughters and by bedtime both mommy and daughter were exhausted. I was worn out from correcting her and trying to be consistent and well, she was worn out from being corrected. As I was tucking her into bed I felt the Lord press upon me to speak encouraging words to her and tell her how truly special she is to me. Don’t we want God to do the same for us? Those days when we’ve been self-centered, short-tempered and feeling unlovable, those are the days when we need God to speak words of love into our lives. We know we don’t deserve it, but it’s those days when we have failed so often that we need to hear from God how much He loves us.

It all started very simple, with just a few words, but my daughter ate it up and wanted more.

ME: “You know what I love about you?”
DAUGHTER: “No, mommy. What?”
ME: “I love how thoughtful you are.”
DAUGHTER:“What else mommy? What else do you love about me?”
ME:“I love what a GREAT big sister you are.”
ME:“I love that you like to be held.”
ME:“I love your beautiful smile.”
ME:“I love you just the way God made you. I love EVERYTHING about you.”
ME:“I love you and feel so blessed to be your mommy.

You know what? God speaks like that to us too.

It’s just nice to know you are loved…even if you’re having a bad day.

Love God Greatly!

23 Comments | Filed Under: Parenting, Uncategorized Tagged With: Intentional with words, mom, words

On Being “Intentional”

February 5, 2012 By Karen Knapp

I have never picked a word of the year like many of my bloggy friends. It just never occurred to me. This year I have a feeling that is going to change. I keep getting a one word message from God. This has been going on for about two weeks so I think I should take the hint and adopt this word as my word of the year.

Intentional

and the definition by Merriam Webster…done by intention or design

intention…….a determination to act in a certain way

photo courtesy of Chris Yarzab on flicker

And this word doesn’t relate to one certain area of my life but all areas of my life including…

Intentional about the food I put in my body
Intentional about the words I say to my husband and kids
Intentional about the way we teach our children
Intentional about worshiping God
Intentional about cleaning my house
Intentional about being a homemaker
Intentional about the meals I make for my kids
Intentional about the words I read and listen to
Intentional about what I let my children watch on screens like tv, computers, and ipods
Intentional about taking care of others
Intentional about taking care of me
Intentional about relationships with others

Intentional about …

so many more things in my life and as I hear them I am writing them down.

And now to figure out how to be intentional in all these areas. I am starting a list of ways I can be intentional. I can tell lists are going to be my friend this year!

Are you being intentional?

I would love to know what you did to help you be intentional in any area of your life.

¹²For the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power [making it active, operative, energizing, and effective]; it is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the breath of life (soul) and [the immortal] spirit, and of joints and marrow [of the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and sifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart.

Hebrews 4:12 AMP

11 Comments | Filed Under: Following God, Food, Homemaking, Homeschooling, Marriage/Relationships, Parenting Tagged With: Accountability, Marriage, parenting, Preparing Now for Children, words

Santa…or Not ?

December 20, 2011 By Kara Chupp

~ Santa as part of Christmas… or not?

~ Public school, private school, homeschool… or unschool?

~ Church on Saturday nights… or Sunday mornings?

~ Scheduled feedings… or feeding on demand?

~ Contemporary music… or hymns-well-loved?

~ Organic-everything… or that’s-not-a-priority?

~ Children in sports… or less structured commitments?

~Skirts-for-modesty… or pants-are-just-fine?

Well…
That’s a scary way to start a post.
*smile*

First let me clarify…
On issues where God’s Word is clear,
We hold our beliefs in a tight grip.
We submit to His authority in Scripture and hold fast to–
Our Statement of Faith.

But on issues where Bible-believing-followers-of-Christ-disagree–
on those side issues…

As moms, how do we decide about those areas?

We look to God’s Word (though even among Christians who recognize God’s Word as the Ultimate Authority…there can be disagreement over issues not crucial to salvation).

We ask our husbands (with hearts willing to follow their leading).

We honestly analyze our own motivation (self-deception is such a comfortable mask to slip on).

We choose humility over pride (knowing that we are a work-in-progress and God often convicts and changes hearts in His own timing).

We seek out wisdom from godly men and women (while acknowledging that no one is infallible and that God’s plan for each family or person may be different when it comes to matters-of-the-conscience).

We pray and ask God (with a sincere heart and listening ears that are ready and willing to obey).

We give grace to those with differing viewpoints (realizing that godly men and women may come to different conclusions when an issue is not clearly outlined in Scripture).

We seek God’s glory (above our own traditions and comfort levels and fears and needs).

My prayer for us as moms,
is that above all else, honoring God
and living as light in the midst of darkness would be our true aim.

In the same way, let your light shine before others,

so that they may see your good works

and give glory to your Father who is in Heaven.

~Matthew 5:16

And that with grace,
(not its shallow-wishy-washy-easily-swayed-by-the-wind-counterfeit),
but with true grace,
we would embrace the beautiful diversity of the Body of Christ.
Not lack of conviction–
For when God convicts, obedience is a must.
Not unity at the expense of the true gospel–
But a love that says-

“My soul, find yourself in Jesus and be free.”

~Andree Seu

I love this community of moms,
all desiring to seek Him and glorify Him–
as they raise children who (Lord willing) will walk with Him in close, genuine relationship.
I’ve felt that love and have seen that love in this group of women.
His love.
And I’m so thankful.

What is the best safe-guard against false teaching?

Beyond all doubt the regular study of the Word of God,

with prayer for the teaching of the Holy Spirit.

The Bible was given to be a lamp to our feet and a light to our path (Psalm. 119:105.)

The man who reads it aright will never be allowed greatly to err.

~ J.C. Ryle

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