motherhood

Summer Planning Questions

May 17, 2013 By Kara Chupp

I have been wearing flip-flops all week.
And it’s 82 degrees outside as I write this, which is amazing for Oregon in early May.
But I’m getting excited about summer!

Usually around this time of year, my husband and I sit down, look at the calendar and do some Lord-willing-planning for the summer ahead of us.
Keeping in mind that…

“The point is fruitfulness,
not efficiency.

You should want to be fruitful
like a tree,
not efficient like a machine.” ~D. Wilson

And remembering that my favorite summer was probably–
The summer we didn’t do anything.

But just in case you’re a-bit-of-a-planner, like I am,
or even if you just want to be a bit more intentional about this next summer…
I wanted to share our summer planning questions with you.

And in the comments below, I’d love to hear some of your fun summer ideas!

“Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring… Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” ~James 4:13-15

Summer Planning Questions to Consider:

What places would we like to visit locally this summer?

What specific educational goals do we have for each child?

What 3 books (or more) would I like to read this summer?

How am I going to spend time in God’s Word?

What am I hoping to study in the Bible?

Are there any friendships we’d especially like to invest in this summer?

What household tasks do I need to keep up on?

Are we planning to take any extended trips or vacations?

What reoccurring weekly activities would we like to include?

Are there any specific skills we’d like our children to learn over the summer?

How am I going to invest in my marriage this summer?

What are some easy (or new) meals that I’d like to make this summer?

What specific character traits or heart issues do we need to work on with our children or as a family?

Are there any specific skills I’d like to work on over the summer?

How can I make sure we have down time?

Are there any fun movies we’d like to watch together?

How/where will we celebrate any birthdays, holidays or special occasions?

What will hospitality look like for us this summer?

Is anyone coming to stay?

Who do we want to invite over?

Does my husband have anything that is important to him to include?

Do we have any house project goals?

What will our kiddos’ summer chores include (now that they’ll have a bit more free time)?

What are some “fill-in” activities that we’d like to do more often (Legos, reading, painting, nature walks)?

Are there any schedules I need to collect to keep with my summer calendars (libraries, farmer’s markets, community theaters)?

How are we going to serve in our community, church, and/or neighborhood?

Do we have any other goals for the summer that I haven’t included elsewhere?

We’re getting close to June !!!
Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer…

And please share your summer plans or ideas below!

Love,

Kara @The Chuppies

6 Comments | Filed Under: Babies, Boys, Family Management, Following God, Fun For Kids, Girls, Home Organization, Homemaking, Homeschooling, Hospitality, Marriage/Relationships, Parenting, Teens, Toddlers, Uncategorized Tagged With: character training, children, Defying the Culture, God's Word, healthy meal planning, holidays, intentional, meal planning, motherhood, parenting, Summer

Reaching Through to the Hearts of Our Children

May 14, 2013 By Lisa Jacobson

More than anything else, it’s what I care about. Their little hearts.

It’s what matters most to me as their mom. Sure, I want them to behave, to learn all they can, and to live meaningful lives. But where are their hearts? That’s what I really want to know.

And what does a mama do to minister in those deeper places?

Lately, I’ve been talking this over with our older children (does the word “child” even apply to a 17 or 19 year-old?) and asking them what touched their hearts when they were younger. What helped them connect when they were struggling, or when we were in a tough season. What’s kept our hearts tied together through it all?

Of course, there’s no formula. No 5-Step Program. It’s a Holy Spirit thing and by the grace of God. Along with a whole lot of love, patience and persistence on the parent’s part.

So then how does a mama go about reaching her child’s heart?

Ask God for wisdom. Okay, I say “ask”, but I’ve been known to literally cry out to Him, desperately seeking His light on a situation. It seems often it’s in the wee hours of the night when He’s revealed the Real Issue underlying a certain behavior or serious concern. At other times He has simply shown what the next step should be. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God (James 1:5a).

Make your child’s heart the highest priority. Above our schedule, activities, and even other ministries. Hearts do not become hardened overnight – this only happens over time – so keep a close watch that they remain tender and open. This also means that we can’t be so busy that we’re unable to see what’s going on, or have the time to do anything about it. Parenting takes TIME. Tons of it. Keep your heart with all diligence (Prov.4:23a).

Listen carefully. Sometimes as parents, we get too caught up in the talking. Lecturing. Teaching. But it’s good to remember that listening says a whole bunch too. Listening says, “I love you and I care.” Even if our child is off-track, this might be the chance to identify where there’s been a mistake (yours or theirs) or just a plain bad attitude. After we’ve heard them out, then we can lovingly correct where necessary. Let every man (or mama) be swift to hear (James 1:19a).

Point them to the truth. As parents, we are to be truth-tellers. We have the responsibility to gently lead them to what is good and right. It’s not about our “rules” or “preferences” or “expectations”, but a matter of grounding their hearts in the truth. Teach them to love God’s Word and to look to the Savior for the answers. Trust in The Lord with all your heart (Prov.3:5a).

Accept that it’s a process. We can easily fall into thinking that how it is now – is how it will always be. Not so! That’s the voice of the Enemy seeking to discourage. She’s having troubles with lying? Maybe today. But not forever. He’s been angry or withdrawn? Maybe today. But not forever. Patiently pursue their hearts and believe that God is the Redeemer He says He is.

After all, He’s redeemed you. And me.

Because as much as we care about our children’s hearts? More than anything else.

Our Heavenly Father cares about them far more.

Amen?

In His grace,

7 Comments | Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: behavior in children, children's hearts, motherhood

On the Lysol Days…

April 28, 2013 By Kara Chupp

Last month the principal called because a certain-someone’s-child threw up all over the entrance to the school auditorium.

And I started this post after 7 days of children with stomach-bug-fever-coughing-virus-nose-wiping.

And yes.
I fed them juice, jello, applesauce, yogurt drinks, and..
Cheetos.
Because that’s all they were keeping down.

And now I’m finishing this post a month later after we also went through a round of chicken pox (even after the vaccination).
And I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one out there carrying around a tub of Lysol wipes.

It can be frustrating when schedules have to change, parties are cancelled, Bible study is missed, laundry starts to pile–
And sickness interrupts plans.

Especially my plans.

But that’s what I’m trying to learn…
What I need to learn–

“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own,’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life — the life God is sending one day by day.”
~C.S. Lewis

I want to make the best use of each day God gives me,
“…making the best use of the time.” ~Colossians 4:5
Because He is the Sender of my days.

So when those seasons of sickness hit, how can we best use the time?

1. We can remember that the pause is a gift from God–
A time to slow down and examine where and how we are using are time, spending our moments.

2. We can reclaim the time at home for building relationships with our children–
Sometimes that will mean piles of books read aloud, or Fox in Sox read thirty times in a row (that book “is dangerous” you know).
Sometime it will be drippy popsicles and coloring books at the kitchen table.
Or mugs of hot chocolate shared while watching episodes of Word Girl.

3. We can use the time to accomplish something–
Clean out a cupboard, write a letter, email a thank you, start a new Bible study, deep-clean a bathroom, read a novel, bake some cookies, weed the garden, make a phone call of encouragement.

4. If we start to get discouraged, we can ask God for His perspective–
For global perspective. For eternal perspective. For a reminder of others who are struggling-hurting deeply.
We can ask God to take our eyes off self and to lift them back up to Him.

5. We can ask God to help us make our home a real place of shelter, solace, and comfort. We can show His love to our families.

Thank you God (and Edith Schaeffer ) for the reminder:

“What is a family? A family is a well-regulated hospital, a nursing home, a shelter in time of physical need, a place where a sick person is greeted as a sick human being and not as a machine that has a loose bolt, or a mechanical doll that no longer works– to be shoved aside because it is no more fun, nor is it useful…

For some people the memory of illness carries with it the memory of loving care, cool hands stroking the forehead, sponge baths in bed, clean sheets under a hot chin, lovely-flavored drinks, back rubs, medicine given methodically by the clock, flowers near the bed, curtains drawn when the fever is hurting the eyes, soft singing mother’s or father’s voice during a sleepless night…

When illness hits we should remember that this period of time is part of the whole of life. This is not just a non-time to be shoved aside, but a portion of time that counts…We are to recognize that to waste this time is as much a loss as wasting a time we might think of as the height of productivity.

The opportunity to do something practical about making your family remember their sickness with a feeling that yours was the “best hospital in the world” is very real, and becomes the challenge that gives purpose to some of the drudgery. It is a time when each of us can have the chance to be practical about the command in Matthew 7:12…During sicknesses we can both literally and figuratively ‘wash feet’ as we do the messy jobs that someone has to do, and then say, ‘Thank you, Lord, for giving me a glimpse of what it is all about…

…What is a family? A family is a blending of people for whom a career of making a shelter in the time of storm is worth a lifetime! Yes, it is while we are in the land of the living that the family is meant to care for each other, and to be a real shelter–”

~Edith Schaeffer What is a Family?

May God bless our families with good health, but on the days when the Lysol wipes are sitting on the kitchen counter,
May God bless us with kindness and compassion and patience and strength, so that we can show His kind of lay-down-self-love to our families.

Love,

Kara @ The Chuppies

17 Comments | Filed Under: Babies, Boys, Following God, Girls, Hope, Parenting, Toddlers, Uncategorized Tagged With: behavior in children, children, finding balance, God's Word, helping Moms who feel alone, intentional, motherhood, parenting, patience, sickness

Do they have to save the drama for the mama?

April 24, 2013 By Elisa

The minute I walk in the room, the drama begins. The littlest one falls into her weepy, whiny pout posture. The tween huffs and sighs. The teen clamors for my attention with a story that she needs to share. Right now! The little boy tackles my leg with a plea.

Why is it that our children feel compelled to save the drama for the momma? 

Seriously! I know I am not alone in this plight. Ahem. Our children have the ability to be pleasant, delightful, and easy going one minute, and the next…well they become a drama-filled mess.

For years, this morph-into-a-mess reality was the source of GREAT irritation. I felt like I was the problem in the equation. Of course, it didn’t help that the grandparents pointed out how, “They were just fine until you came home!”

Often, I’d sigh hopeless, praying that they would grow up fast and the drama would remain in the past. But as my toddlers became teens, I discovered that our kids don’t grow out of their drama. {Mind you, I should have known this point, having been a mentor of teens for the last 16 years!} No matter the age, we all have the tendency to save our drama for our mamas. As I came to embrace this truth, the Lord gave me the ability to see {and respond} to the drama in a whole new way.

Three Reasons Why They Save the Drama for the Mama

1. Our Security 

There’s nothing like the security found in a momma’s arms, right? Even though we are imperfect (and sometimes the cause of our children’s pain as we fail in our own flesh), mommas represent a home base of safety for a child’s emotional and physical health. While our kids (especially teens) feel the need to be strong for everyone else, in the comfort of their momma’s presence is the one place they can be needy, regardless of their age.

2. Our Sensitivity 

A momma’s intuition offers a sensitive response in meeting a child’s emotional and physical needs, faster than anyone else. Even if we, as moms, feel clueless, there is this thing inside of us that will motivate us to discover what our children need. We notice their every move, their tender hearts, the glossiness in their eyes when a fever hits. We know our children, sometimes better than they know themselves. Of course they melt-down with us, because they know we know best how to meet their needs.

3. Our Strength 

We may not feel strong, but for our children, we are a picture of strength. We’ve band-aided their boo-boos, fed their hungry tummies, and washed and bathed their little bodies. Our actions communicate provision. Our ongoing service demonstrates strength and resolve. So why wouldn’t our kids clamor for our attention when they feel a weak, fearful, or simply unable to face today?

Security, sensitivity, and strength.

These are gifts we bestow on our children, even if we are not aware that we’re pouring forth such blessings.

I wonder if the drama our kids save for us is simply the working of God to remind us of the high and holy calling of motherhood? {click to tweet}

When we serve our kids through offering them security, sensitivity, and strength — in spite of their sometimes unnecessary drama — we are meeting a God-ordained need designed especially for us to fill. In doing so, we are living out the call to be like Christ to those we’ve been appointed to care for most of all.

So, momma, will you respond to the drama your kiddos save just for you as an opportunity to overflow the love of Christ on their lives?

1 Timothy 1:12, 14 ESV
I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service…and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.