character training

Summer Planning Questions

May 17, 2013 By Kara Chupp

I have been wearing flip-flops all week.
And it’s 82 degrees outside as I write this, which is amazing for Oregon in early May.
But I’m getting excited about summer!

Usually around this time of year, my husband and I sit down, look at the calendar and do some Lord-willing-planning for the summer ahead of us.
Keeping in mind that…

“The point is fruitfulness,
not efficiency.

You should want to be fruitful
like a tree,
not efficient like a machine.” ~D. Wilson

And remembering that my favorite summer was probably–
The summer we didn’t do anything.

But just in case you’re a-bit-of-a-planner, like I am,
or even if you just want to be a bit more intentional about this next summer…
I wanted to share our summer planning questions with you.

And in the comments below, I’d love to hear some of your fun summer ideas!

“Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring… Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” ~James 4:13-15

Summer Planning Questions to Consider:

What places would we like to visit locally this summer?

What specific educational goals do we have for each child?

What 3 books (or more) would I like to read this summer?

How am I going to spend time in God’s Word?

What am I hoping to study in the Bible?

Are there any friendships we’d especially like to invest in this summer?

What household tasks do I need to keep up on?

Are we planning to take any extended trips or vacations?

What reoccurring weekly activities would we like to include?

Are there any specific skills we’d like our children to learn over the summer?

How am I going to invest in my marriage this summer?

What are some easy (or new) meals that I’d like to make this summer?

What specific character traits or heart issues do we need to work on with our children or as a family?

Are there any specific skills I’d like to work on over the summer?

How can I make sure we have down time?

Are there any fun movies we’d like to watch together?

How/where will we celebrate any birthdays, holidays or special occasions?

What will hospitality look like for us this summer?

Is anyone coming to stay?

Who do we want to invite over?

Does my husband have anything that is important to him to include?

Do we have any house project goals?

What will our kiddos’ summer chores include (now that they’ll have a bit more free time)?

What are some “fill-in” activities that we’d like to do more often (Legos, reading, painting, nature walks)?

Are there any schedules I need to collect to keep with my summer calendars (libraries, farmer’s markets, community theaters)?

How are we going to serve in our community, church, and/or neighborhood?

Do we have any other goals for the summer that I haven’t included elsewhere?

We’re getting close to June !!!
Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer…

And please share your summer plans or ideas below!

Love,

Kara @The Chuppies

6 Comments | Filed Under: Babies, Boys, Family Management, Following God, Fun For Kids, Girls, Home Organization, Homemaking, Homeschooling, Hospitality, Marriage/Relationships, Parenting, Teens, Toddlers, Uncategorized Tagged With: character training, children, Defying the Culture, God's Word, healthy meal planning, holidays, intentional, meal planning, motherhood, parenting, Summer

Not the End of the Story…

February 24, 2013 By Kara Chupp

I can’t tell you the formula–

…because there isn’t one.

I can’t tell you the end of her story–

…because it’s not the end of her story yet.

This Sunday I was in the nursery.
Holding a sweet, little 10 month old.
I nearly rocked us both to sleep in one of those cozy recliners.

Usually the nursery is packed, but for some reason we had only one baby. While the rest of the crew went home, I stayed to enjoy time with a fellow nursery worker.

She told me the story of her husband’s death and how she met Jesus a few years later.
About her older son and his family.
And how her son just met Jesus.
And about her other son whose heart is not soft yet, still resistant and hard.
And about how–

It’s not the end of his story.

Today I spoke with a mentor-friend-mom who is often my go-to-spot when I need to process. She spent the weekend with her older children, away at college.
We talked about mommy-mess-ups and all the things I already know I could’ve-would’ve-should’ve done differently…
better.
And I rejoiced with her as she shared about children flown away– who are choosing God on their own.
How she can look back now and see that then–

It was not the end of their stories.

Last night I spoke with a close friend, who has children-not-choosing-Him.
The heartache and pain of seeing those so-loved-hearts turn away from the One most loved.
A daddy whose heart is hurting.
But my friend has also seen God’s redemption in a prodigal-child-redeemed.
And there’s so much hope in knowing–

It was not the end of her story.

So when this mama’s heart begins to question–
Are we doing it right– this parenting journey?
Do they really know Him?
Will Truth take hold?
When I fail in their sight and I feel I am drawing a line through my faith?

I come back to what I do know.
What I can tell you– and what I can tell myself:

I want to give God my best effort, using wisdom and biblical guidance.
I want to cling to Him for strength, aware of my own weakness.
I want to listen to the Holy Spirit and follow where He’s leading.
But parenting is not a formula.
And God is the changer of hearts.

I want to practice consistent training and teach them of His ways.
I want to pray for them by name and plead with Him to reach them.
I want to live a faith authentic, that permeates every corner.

But when the mirror causes discouragement, I will claim 1 John 1:9,
And pray in my failures, they will see His grace abound.
Because parenting is not a formula.
And God is still changing my heart.

Because this is not the end of my story–
He still has much work to do.
This is not the end of their stories–
I will trust Him to see it through.

So thankful for these hopes offered…

God does soften hearts.
God can use our messes.
God will hear our prayers when we cry out for our children.
And it is God who will complete the work that He has started in us, and in the lives of our children.

Oh please Lord– I pray specifically that this will be true for our family and for all those whose hearts cry out with me…

“For I will have no greater joy, than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”

~3 John 1:4

With Love,

Kara @ The Chuppies

Nathan Clarkson (son of Sally Clarkson) is currently in the process of producing and raising funds for a film he wrote as a modern retelling of the Prodigal Son, entitled Confessions of a Prodigal Son. He is making the film in hopes of the film being a light in a dark world and reaching out to a generation of lost prodigals who need to hear the redemptive message inside of Jesus’ story.
To support and find out more about this project please visit his page.

20 Comments | Filed Under: Babies, Boys, Child Safety, Discipling Children, Following God, Girls, Hope, Marriage/Relationships, Parenting, Prayer, Special Needs, Teens, Toddlers Tagged With: behavior in children, character training, children, encouragement, Expectations, forgiveness, God's Word, help for children, helping Moms who feel alone, hope, motherhood, parenting, Preparing for Children

Your First Valentine

February 14, 2013 By Kara Chupp

On the medical release form for our middle child, I had to write:

May still have a quarter in him.

I checked…

(a very nice way of putting that–for those of you who know what they ask you to do when your child eats a coin)

…for over a month but never found it, so please make sure to x-ray him before ever giving an MRI or CT-Scan because he can’t have those if the quarter is still in him.

Why-oh-why do they do things like that?!?

At what point does it sound like a good idea to put dried pinto beans or tiny Legos up your nose?

Do they really think I will be pleased that their rainbow drawn in the middle of the family room carpet looks “just like the one in the book” ?

Or that they helped by using dishwashing soap to “clean the carpet” for me?

And how do you recover from calling 911 and then trying to explain to the police officer that it isn’t actually real blood on your kid, but just red nail polish that he used to paint himself?

How do you stop your heart from pounding when the thud on the tile entry turns out to be your children in a pile after they emptied out their laundry baskets and climbed inside to take wild rides down your very steep staircase?

Or when naptime was less about napping, and more about using a sibling’s ink pad to quietly-Picasso the entire upstairs.

And there’s nothing like the feeling–
When your toddler walks up to you with half a worm and you realize she’s chewing the other half…

Or when you are cleaning and pull up the vent in the floor and find it crammed full of empty candy wrappers…

Or when you go to get your newborn up from sleeping and find that his head has been decorated with a jug of Vaseline…

Or when you see something brown on the carpet and you realize that your toddler has “changed” your baby’s diaper…

Or when your son sees the cloaked-lady next to you in the Spaghetti Factory restroom and SCREAMS-IN-TERROR– “It’s a witch!!!”

Or when your dog’s breath smells “minty fresh” and you decide it’s probably best that everyone gets a new toothbrush because…

…you just never know.

But there is a point in the journey of parenting when it actually (kind of) makes sense to you that–
“the bathrooms were all full”
so using a soldier’s helmet as a chamber pot was
“the only thing” he could do.
But you are still sad that he couldn’t empty it without spilling all the way to the bathroom.

And eventually you get past trying to impress other people…

So when you hear that your Pastor’s wife had to come clean your house because her daughter was babysitting and your boys decorated their room with their babysitter’s mascara, it really is actually something you can laugh about…eventually.

And when your 2-year-old LOUDLY asks the man behind the counter at Subway–
“Are you Jesus?”
You simply smile and say–
“I bet you get that a lot.”

You start to understand them and believe that when they cut off 12 inches of their sister’s hair, they really were “just trying to cut the gum out.”

You LOVE how they hide under their dinner napkins when their daddy gets home from work.

And how they yell “chase me” and dart away in screams.

And how they plead for just one more story night after night.

And how they actually do stop and pray for the “sick guy” they pass in the hospital.

And how they tell you things like when they grow up they’re going to be– “a vet during the day and a circus clown at night.”

And that– “You and Dad are my best friend.”

When they say–“Even way under your covers, Jesus can still see you.”

Cuz–
“God is real, but Superman isn’t,
but even if Superman was real,
God would totally be stronger.”

But there is nothing…nothing….nothing…

Like the day you get the first real Valentine from your child.

Not one you told them to make.

Or one you made for them and had them sign.
But one that they planned and cut and pasted and created all out of love…

That they hid and brought to you,
giggling from the joy of the surprise…

I got one of those this week…
One that said “I luv u”
And it meant the world.

Happy Valentine’s Day from all of us here at The Better Mom…

With Love,

Kara @ The Chuppies

26 Comments | Filed Under: Babies, Boys, Girls, Parenting, Teens, Toddlers Tagged With: behavior in children, character training, child behavior, children, enjoying children, helping Moms who feel alone, holidays, intentional, motherhood, parenting, Preparing for Children, valentine's day

Child’s Play – A Story from the Closet

February 2, 2013 By Barb Spencer

Muffled sounds could be heard from one of our bedrooms as my husband reached the top of the stairs. The serious tone of our little girls’ voices grabbed his attention so he stood just outside their bedroom door, listening intently. Although he couldn’t see them, their words painted a clear picture. They had gathered all of their baby dolls into their closet and were “hiding them from the Nazis”. This warmed my husband’s heart and he smiled as he remembered our reading to them selected passages from Corrie Ten Boom’s, book, The Hiding Place.

For those of you unfamiliar with the story, The Hiding Place is the true life account of the ten Boom family’s life in Holland during World War II. The gentle ten Boom family risked everything to harbor Jews in their home during the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands. Their home was eventually raided by the Gestapo and they were caught and sent to concentration camps where all of them, except Corrie, died. The Jews they harbored in a secret hidden room, however, managed to escape.

This story of our girls in their closet hiding their “Jewish” baby dolls is one of our favorites and as we look back now we can see how their hearts for Christ, the downtrodden and the marginalized were being formed in those early years, even in their play.

Admittedly, we should be wise about what stories, or what details of those stories, we tell our children. We do not want to scare them or traumatize them. But at the same time, it is important that we give them real heroes who have sacrificed greatly for their faith if we hope to raise children whose character will graduate beyond the superficial, sensate culture we have become. Remember, God’s Word is filled with real life harrowing accounts of men and women who have given all for the sake of the Gospel.

As our world grows increasingly cold and hostile to Christ, we owe it to our children and to God, to train them to love Him with all of their hearts, regardless of the cost. I don’t claim to know the future, but I believe difficult days are ahead for those who love Christ. Paul warned Timothy of the inevitable struggle that waits for followers of Christ:

“In fact, all those who want to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. Evil people and impostors will become worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and firmly believed. You know those who taught you, and you know that from childhood you have known the sacred Scriptures, which are able to give you wisdom for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.” II Timothy 3:12-16

Moms, if we don’t provide heroes for our children, the world will. Read books like The Hiding Place to your children. Read them the biblical accounts of men and women whose love for Christ compelled them to put their own lives at risk. Teach them by your own example that sacrifice for Christ is not merely something to be talked about; it is something to be lived. By doing these things you will rescue them from the emptiness of shallow and selfish living that is robbing an entire generation of the joy of living for and loving Christ. This is the only life that matters.

Blessings,

Barb

“Christians given to formality only seem to respect losing everything for Christ if those who have done so are safely dead, preferably for centuries.” – Joseph Foreman

Photo Credit: http://www1.yadvashem.org/yv/en/exhibitions/spots_of_light/img/partisans/waterman/02.jpg