Why Marriage is Like a GPS

justmarried

Last summer my family and I took a road trip across the country to Banff, Alberta. Thankfully before leaving home my husband picked up a GPS for the van. After using it to navigate through the city of Calgary, I couldn’t imagine travelling without it. It was able to direct us right from our driveway at home to the front door of our hotel without barely a hitch.

We did however have one evening that proved to be interesting. We were out searching for a Mexican restaurant. I don’t know if Michael was tired or Calgary was that confusing, but it seemed that he missed every turn we were supposed to take.

The minute we missed a turn the voice on the GPS systems said, “recalculating.” And recalculate it did, about a dozen times before we finally arrived at the restaurant where we discovered a “Closed” sign. It was time to get back in the van and recalculate things yet again.

A few weeks later, a friend pointed out to us how marriage is like a GPS system. Most people go into marriage with their idea of what things should look like, and how life will pan out. In fact one of the most exciting things that you can do with your partner is discuss your hopes and dreams for the future. 

How many kids do you want to have? Where do you want to live? At what age do you want to retire?

These are some the of things that you program into your GPS system as you save and plan for the future. The problem–if you can even call it a problem–is that your life is constantly recalculating the paths that you take. Things rarely to never turn out exactly the way that we planned because it’s impossible to see past today. All we are given is this moment, tomorrow belongs to the Lord.  Are you flexible enough to let Him lead the way?

To me being flexible is synonymous with being content. A content woman brings glory to her husband, while trusting God for their future. While a discontent woman is the equivalent of a nagging GPS. Imagine for a moment if instead of happily recalculating the journey for you, a voice came over the system complaining, nagging, and reminding you of the fact that you missed every turn. How long do you think you’d listen to it before turning the volume off or tossing it out of the window?

Recalculating only becomes a problem when we stop trusting God with our future. We have a choice–we can either enjoy the twists and the turns in the road, or we can complain that life isn’t all that we hoped for.

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” ~ James 4:13-15, NIV

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht
www.timewarpwife.com

Being A Mom Has Changed My Marriage

motherhood-marriageMotherhood is sweet.  The warm and gentle touch of my baby’s skin melts my heart.  The overwhelming love I have for my son motivates me to be the best mom I can possibly be.  My attention is focused on his every need and want.  I am in tune to his coos, in awe of his smiles, and proud of his development.  He is my baby.

My boy just reached two months!  Although I enjoy being a mother and find it extraordinarily rewarding, it is simultaneously the hardest thing I have ever experienced.  Yet, God gives me all that I need to be able to continue caring for my child.   He empowers me to get up throughout the night, to change another diaper, to go out with spit-up on my clothes, and to sacrifice things I want on a daily basis.  There is so much worth wrapped up in my child that the hard stuff doesn’t compare!

I appreciate all that God has equipped me with for motherhood.  Among the gifts of energy I have received from Him, I have also experienced a bit of reprimand from God since I became a mother, namely in the area of marriage.  Since my husband and I had well over 5 years together before our little one came, I assumed we had our marriage down.  I felt secure in our relationship.  We took the time to get to know each other so intimately that I did not perceive any kind of issues that would arise with becoming parents.  However, just a few hours in and the dynamic of our marriage saw change.

The sleeplessness was a catalyst for attitudes we never thought we had in us.  We miscommunicated often and our frustrations rose.  At one point I had to apologize to my husband for my negative attitude towards him, which was caused by a few things.  As much as I embraced motherhood, I became a little bitter that my husband could not fulfil some of our baby’s needs like I could, such as breastfeeding.  Also, my husband went back to work shortly after we brought our baby home.  I desired to be a stay-at-home mommy and I love every moment I spend with my baby, however in those first few weeks when my body was still recovering and our newborn was needy, I was jealous that my husband got a break, even if it was driving to work.

Among bitterness and jealousy, any frustration that arose from the baby I took out on my husband.  I responded to him with quick, snappy and many times cold responses.

I began to see me and my baby as a team instead of me and my husband.  

The Lord was gracious with me and revealed to me my shortcomings.  I am still working on being a noble wife who respects her husband.  I desire to change my behavior and perspective so that our little boy grows up with a positive view of marriage.

Now that we have had more time to adjust to parenthood, we are learning how to be a family.  The dynamic of our marriage may still see change as we experience different seasons with our child, but we are forgiving with one another.  We are trusting in God as He guides us and surrounds us with love and support from family and friends.  Being parents is bringing change, a change that will refine us in many ways, a change that will deepen our love and allow us the opportunity to get to know each other all the more.

Did you experience a change in your marriage when your first child came along?

If you have any marriage tips for new moms please leave them in the comments below!

- Jennifer Smith   unveiledwife.com

photo credit: unveiledwife

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