Toddlers

Did you teach them?

May 23, 2013 By Elisa

I suppose it is normal to have a sobering sense of time when you look up from your desk, caught off guard by the young woman walking through the door, only to realize it is your own daughter.

When did she grow up?

I feel like I just tucked the 4T dresses away for her little sister. Wasn’t it only yesterday when she insisted on wearing sports shorts and a t-shirt, all-the-time? Now she’s dressed like she’s ready to step into the world of business movers and shakers. That’s what dress code looks like on a nearly fully matured teenager’s body.

In only a blink, I am sure she’ll be walking back out that door and into the world God is waiting for her to explore. And I am left to wonder.

Did I teach her the most important lessons of all?

Did I model authentic faith? Did I share with her the awesomeness of God and proclaim His glory in my worship, praise, and prayers? Did I show her what to do with unbelief, letting her know it is okay to cry out to God in doubt but walk faithfully anyways? Have I given her a taste of my whole faith, even the messy parts, because isn’t life messy? Won’t she be a doubting Thomas at times, too? But it is my prayer for her to echo Mary’s words more often, “My soul glorifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior…” (Luke 1:46-47).

In the very blink frozen by my thoughts, I turn my heart to the Lord and stare down Proverbs 3:5-6. It was the very first verse my daughter had to memorize when she entered kindergarten and the very first verse I really sunk my knees deep into prayer over the life of my children.

Oh Lord, may they trust in you with all their heart, and lean not on their own understanding. In all their ways may they submit to you, O God, and may You make their paths straight.

It’s been a prayer for my littles, spoken so many times in gasps of, “Oh Lord. Help them to submit. Dear God, make them stay the straight way.” But in this moment of window gazing and wonderment of time, the Lord whispered to me a new way to use this passage of Truth. He asked me…

Did you teach them to trust me?
Did you teach them how to give their heart to me?
Did you teach them to not lean on their own understanding?
Did you teach them to live set apart?
Did you teach them to pay attention to me?
Did you teach them to follow my ways?
Did you teach them how to live on the straight path?

Did I teach them?

It’s now my accountability checklist for the remainder of my motherhood journey. Not so that I’d feel bound up in condemnation, but so that I’d really pour into the years left with her and her siblings. It’s a tool to help me evaluate my time, offering the Holy Spirit a good old fashion moment of silence as I step away from the screens to face my Maker.

Oh sure, it makes me squirm on days when the answer is “No, Lord. I didn’t.” But because of His grace and the mercies bestowed each morning, I can embrace living with an momma heart, eternally bent. It’s the best thing I can do for my children — to give them Jesus in a faith that’s still being learned — while they are still young enough to teach.

:: click here to download a copy of Did You Teach Them to encourage you
and a printable version of Proverbs 3:5-6 ::

Blessings,

Elisa, MoreToBe.com

10 Comments | Filed Under: Boys, Girls, Parenting, Special Needs, Teens, Toddlers, Uncategorized Tagged With: Elisa Pulliam, motherhood, Proverbs 3:5-6, Teaching

15 Things Moms Wish They Knew Before Having Children

May 19, 2013 By Ashley Schnarr

Photo Credit

Are you a mom to be or young woman who would like to have children one day?

I asked a group of ladies what things they wished they knew or had taken the time to learn before having children. They gave a lot of good responses and I found the information helpful as I, a young single woman, prepare for my future family.

I have paraphrased some of the responses below:

1.) I wish I knew that life would change drastically, constant interruptions and down-right difficult time but it’s worth every minute of it.

2.) I wish I had been a better steward of my finances and thought more carefully about student loans so I didn’t have to worry so much about money issues when children came along.

3.) I wish I had guarded my heart and body better and asked myself, “How will this choice affect me 20 years down the road? How will it affect my future children?”

4.) I wish I had learned to cook and prepare healthy food for my family before I was married with children so they didn’t have to be the ginny pigs.

5.) I wish I knew that having children is way more about sanctification and sacrifice than luxury.

6.) I wish I had learned to trust and rely on God more. Some days are challenging and the future is uncertain.

7.) I wish I had learned to make a routine for my devotions. It’s so much harder to find time or be awake and alert enough when you have little ones.

8.) I wish I had been more diligent about saving money.

9.) I wish I had learned to be a better time manager.

10.) I wish I understood that life will get crazy and you can’t always get everything done.

11.) I wish I knew that “me” time would be limited and that I had realized earlier that Jesus bought us with his blood so all of our time should really be HIS time.

12.) I wish I had spent more time around other children so I knew better what to expect and how to raise with my own.

13.) I wish I had thought about what I believe about raising children and then made sure my husband and I were on the same page.

14.) I wish I had learned how to be a godly wife for my husband because that also effects your children and parenting.

15.) I wish I had known how important it was to have a support group you could rely on for friendship and practical encouragement.

Just one little note: We can never be completely prepared for the joy of marriage or children and God can use even the most unprepared women but it is still wise to take time to learn and grow so we can be good examples of motherhood for His glory!

Blessings,

Ashley
www.stayathomedaughter.com

4 Comments | Filed Under: Babies, Boys, Child Safety, Girls, Parenting, Special Needs, Teens, Toddlers Tagged With: 15 Things Moms Wish They Knew Before Having Children

Summer Planning Questions

May 17, 2013 By Kara Chupp

I have been wearing flip-flops all week.
And it’s 82 degrees outside as I write this, which is amazing for Oregon in early May.
But I’m getting excited about summer!

Usually around this time of year, my husband and I sit down, look at the calendar and do some Lord-willing-planning for the summer ahead of us.
Keeping in mind that…

“The point is fruitfulness,
not efficiency.

You should want to be fruitful
like a tree,
not efficient like a machine.” ~D. Wilson

And remembering that my favorite summer was probably–
The summer we didn’t do anything.

But just in case you’re a-bit-of-a-planner, like I am,
or even if you just want to be a bit more intentional about this next summer…
I wanted to share our summer planning questions with you.

And in the comments below, I’d love to hear some of your fun summer ideas!

“Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring… Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” ~James 4:13-15

Summer Planning Questions to Consider:

What places would we like to visit locally this summer?

What specific educational goals do we have for each child?

What 3 books (or more) would I like to read this summer?

How am I going to spend time in God’s Word?

What am I hoping to study in the Bible?

Are there any friendships we’d especially like to invest in this summer?

What household tasks do I need to keep up on?

Are we planning to take any extended trips or vacations?

What reoccurring weekly activities would we like to include?

Are there any specific skills we’d like our children to learn over the summer?

How am I going to invest in my marriage this summer?

What are some easy (or new) meals that I’d like to make this summer?

What specific character traits or heart issues do we need to work on with our children or as a family?

Are there any specific skills I’d like to work on over the summer?

How can I make sure we have down time?

Are there any fun movies we’d like to watch together?

How/where will we celebrate any birthdays, holidays or special occasions?

What will hospitality look like for us this summer?

Is anyone coming to stay?

Who do we want to invite over?

Does my husband have anything that is important to him to include?

Do we have any house project goals?

What will our kiddos’ summer chores include (now that they’ll have a bit more free time)?

What are some “fill-in” activities that we’d like to do more often (Legos, reading, painting, nature walks)?

Are there any schedules I need to collect to keep with my summer calendars (libraries, farmer’s markets, community theaters)?

How are we going to serve in our community, church, and/or neighborhood?

Do we have any other goals for the summer that I haven’t included elsewhere?

We’re getting close to June !!!
Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer…

And please share your summer plans or ideas below!

Love,

Kara @The Chuppies

6 Comments | Filed Under: Babies, Boys, Family Management, Following God, Fun For Kids, Girls, Home Organization, Homemaking, Homeschooling, Hospitality, Marriage/Relationships, Parenting, Teens, Toddlers, Uncategorized Tagged With: character training, children, Defying the Culture, God's Word, healthy meal planning, holidays, intentional, meal planning, motherhood, parenting, Summer

Helping Your Kids to Be Best Friends & Better Mom Monday’s Link-up!!

May 12, 2013 By Tricia Goyer

I grew up with one brother who was four years younger than me. I clearly remember he had a T-shirt that said, “Trouble Is My Middle Name.” And that’s pretty much how I thought of Ronnie during my growing-up years. He messed up my toys. He pulled my hair. He spit on me. Yuck.

I remember when John and I first started dating. John asked about how my brother and I got along. I told him we didn’t. I told John my brother had been a pest when we were little, and then John looked at me puzzled. “Did you ever invite him to play with you?” Uh, no. Honestly, I’d never thought of that! I was focused on my play, and I wanted him to stay away.

Then, I had my own kids, and one of my goals was for kids to become friends. Great friends.

I homeschooled Cory, Leslie, and Nathan from preschool through high school. They were with each other every day and had no choice but spend “quality time” together. They are grown now, ages 23, 20 and 18, and they are great friends. We enjoy the moments we spend together, and whenever we sit around and chat they share memory after memory of the ups and downs they had together as kids. (Even now I hear about trouble they got into that they hid from me all these years!)

And would you believe we’re starting all over again? Through adoption we have three little ones in our house, ages 5, 3, and 2. I still have the same desire to raise children as best friends, but now I remember how very hard it is to . . . make . . . kids . . . get along. Best friends?! Sometimes I hope we’ll survive through the day.

Yet even as my kids are getting used to their new brothers and sisters, here are some things I’m focusing on:

Set Guidelines. The first thing kids fight over is what’s “fair.” When rules are set and enforced equally for everyone, then kids know there will be no playing favorites. When parents provide the same affection, discipline, and praise to each child, children have a chance to have positive relationships with each other.
Build a sense of “team.” Even from the first day our newly adopted kids joined our family, John and I told them that they were ours forever and were now part of the Goyer team. We encourage team spirit. We tell them we work together as teammates. We play like team members, too. We stick up for each other, and we turn to God to be our coach.
We focus on time together. We limit each child to one extra-curricular activity a year. We focus on family dinners. We have times of independent play, but we also have times when the kids play together with coloring or play dough or blocks. Yes, there will be fighting, but as my kids interact, I get the chance to guide their interactions.
We pray. We pray for wisdom. We pray for our kids’ hearts to be turned to each other. We pray that God will give us wisdom. And when I turn to Him, He is always faithful to do just that.

What about you? How do you help your kids be best friends?

Blessings,

Tricia Goyer, TriciaGoyer.com

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