Babies

15 Things Moms Wish They Knew Before Having Children

May 19, 2013 By Ashley Schnarr

Photo Credit

Are you a mom to be or young woman who would like to have children one day?

I asked a group of ladies what things they wished they knew or had taken the time to learn before having children. They gave a lot of good responses and I found the information helpful as I, a young single woman, prepare for my future family.

I have paraphrased some of the responses below:

1.) I wish I knew that life would change drastically, constant interruptions and down-right difficult time but it’s worth every minute of it.

2.) I wish I had been a better steward of my finances and thought more carefully about student loans so I didn’t have to worry so much about money issues when children came along.

3.) I wish I had guarded my heart and body better and asked myself, “How will this choice affect me 20 years down the road? How will it affect my future children?”

4.) I wish I had learned to cook and prepare healthy food for my family before I was married with children so they didn’t have to be the ginny pigs.

5.) I wish I knew that having children is way more about sanctification and sacrifice than luxury.

6.) I wish I had learned to trust and rely on God more. Some days are challenging and the future is uncertain.

7.) I wish I had learned to make a routine for my devotions. It’s so much harder to find time or be awake and alert enough when you have little ones.

8.) I wish I had been more diligent about saving money.

9.) I wish I had learned to be a better time manager.

10.) I wish I understood that life will get crazy and you can’t always get everything done.

11.) I wish I knew that “me” time would be limited and that I had realized earlier that Jesus bought us with his blood so all of our time should really be HIS time.

12.) I wish I had spent more time around other children so I knew better what to expect and how to raise with my own.

13.) I wish I had thought about what I believe about raising children and then made sure my husband and I were on the same page.

14.) I wish I had learned how to be a godly wife for my husband because that also effects your children and parenting.

15.) I wish I had known how important it was to have a support group you could rely on for friendship and practical encouragement.

Just one little note: We can never be completely prepared for the joy of marriage or children and God can use even the most unprepared women but it is still wise to take time to learn and grow so we can be good examples of motherhood for His glory!

Blessings,

Ashley
www.stayathomedaughter.com

4 Comments | Filed Under: Babies, Boys, Child Safety, Girls, Parenting, Special Needs, Teens, Toddlers Tagged With: 15 Things Moms Wish They Knew Before Having Children

Summer Planning Questions

May 17, 2013 By Kara Chupp

I have been wearing flip-flops all week.
And it’s 82 degrees outside as I write this, which is amazing for Oregon in early May.
But I’m getting excited about summer!

Usually around this time of year, my husband and I sit down, look at the calendar and do some Lord-willing-planning for the summer ahead of us.
Keeping in mind that…

“The point is fruitfulness,
not efficiency.

You should want to be fruitful
like a tree,
not efficient like a machine.” ~D. Wilson

And remembering that my favorite summer was probably–
The summer we didn’t do anything.

But just in case you’re a-bit-of-a-planner, like I am,
or even if you just want to be a bit more intentional about this next summer…
I wanted to share our summer planning questions with you.

And in the comments below, I’d love to hear some of your fun summer ideas!

“Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring… Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” ~James 4:13-15

Summer Planning Questions to Consider:

What places would we like to visit locally this summer?

What specific educational goals do we have for each child?

What 3 books (or more) would I like to read this summer?

How am I going to spend time in God’s Word?

What am I hoping to study in the Bible?

Are there any friendships we’d especially like to invest in this summer?

What household tasks do I need to keep up on?

Are we planning to take any extended trips or vacations?

What reoccurring weekly activities would we like to include?

Are there any specific skills we’d like our children to learn over the summer?

How am I going to invest in my marriage this summer?

What are some easy (or new) meals that I’d like to make this summer?

What specific character traits or heart issues do we need to work on with our children or as a family?

Are there any specific skills I’d like to work on over the summer?

How can I make sure we have down time?

Are there any fun movies we’d like to watch together?

How/where will we celebrate any birthdays, holidays or special occasions?

What will hospitality look like for us this summer?

Is anyone coming to stay?

Who do we want to invite over?

Does my husband have anything that is important to him to include?

Do we have any house project goals?

What will our kiddos’ summer chores include (now that they’ll have a bit more free time)?

What are some “fill-in” activities that we’d like to do more often (Legos, reading, painting, nature walks)?

Are there any schedules I need to collect to keep with my summer calendars (libraries, farmer’s markets, community theaters)?

How are we going to serve in our community, church, and/or neighborhood?

Do we have any other goals for the summer that I haven’t included elsewhere?

We’re getting close to June !!!
Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer…

And please share your summer plans or ideas below!

Love,

Kara @The Chuppies

6 Comments | Filed Under: Babies, Boys, Family Management, Following God, Fun For Kids, Girls, Home Organization, Homemaking, Homeschooling, Hospitality, Marriage/Relationships, Parenting, Teens, Toddlers, Uncategorized Tagged With: character training, children, Defying the Culture, God's Word, healthy meal planning, holidays, intentional, meal planning, motherhood, parenting, Summer

Helping Your Kids to Be Best Friends & Better Mom Monday’s Link-up!!

May 12, 2013 By Tricia Goyer

I grew up with one brother who was four years younger than me. I clearly remember he had a T-shirt that said, “Trouble Is My Middle Name.” And that’s pretty much how I thought of Ronnie during my growing-up years. He messed up my toys. He pulled my hair. He spit on me. Yuck.

I remember when John and I first started dating. John asked about how my brother and I got along. I told him we didn’t. I told John my brother had been a pest when we were little, and then John looked at me puzzled. “Did you ever invite him to play with you?” Uh, no. Honestly, I’d never thought of that! I was focused on my play, and I wanted him to stay away.

Then, I had my own kids, and one of my goals was for kids to become friends. Great friends.

I homeschooled Cory, Leslie, and Nathan from preschool through high school. They were with each other every day and had no choice but spend “quality time” together. They are grown now, ages 23, 20 and 18, and they are great friends. We enjoy the moments we spend together, and whenever we sit around and chat they share memory after memory of the ups and downs they had together as kids. (Even now I hear about trouble they got into that they hid from me all these years!)

And would you believe we’re starting all over again? Through adoption we have three little ones in our house, ages 5, 3, and 2. I still have the same desire to raise children as best friends, but now I remember how very hard it is to . . . make . . . kids . . . get along. Best friends?! Sometimes I hope we’ll survive through the day.

Yet even as my kids are getting used to their new brothers and sisters, here are some things I’m focusing on:

Set Guidelines. The first thing kids fight over is what’s “fair.” When rules are set and enforced equally for everyone, then kids know there will be no playing favorites. When parents provide the same affection, discipline, and praise to each child, children have a chance to have positive relationships with each other.
Build a sense of “team.” Even from the first day our newly adopted kids joined our family, John and I told them that they were ours forever and were now part of the Goyer team. We encourage team spirit. We tell them we work together as teammates. We play like team members, too. We stick up for each other, and we turn to God to be our coach.
We focus on time together. We limit each child to one extra-curricular activity a year. We focus on family dinners. We have times of independent play, but we also have times when the kids play together with coloring or play dough or blocks. Yes, there will be fighting, but as my kids interact, I get the chance to guide their interactions.
We pray. We pray for wisdom. We pray for our kids’ hearts to be turned to each other. We pray that God will give us wisdom. And when I turn to Him, He is always faithful to do just that.

What about you? How do you help your kids be best friends?

Blessings,

Tricia Goyer, TriciaGoyer.com

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16 Comments | Filed Under: Babies, Boys, Discipling Children, Following God, Girls, Link-ups, Parenting, Teens, Toddlers

Comfy Pregnancy Series – Baby’s First Days

May 5, 2013 By Jennifer Deibel

Welcome back to our Comfy Pregnancy Series!

So, you’ve made it through those nausea-laden early days, done your best to get comfy sleep, and prepared your body – baby – for labor and delivery. In today’s post – our final one of the series – we’ll look at how to have the comfiest first days/weeks at home after baby is born.

Whether you’ve had a “natural” delivery or c-section, your body is coursing with adrenaline mixed with all kinds of other hormones that will help you forget the delivery, bond with baby, and recover. I’ve had three children: one natural, vaginal delivery and two c-sections. One for fetal distress and one for failure to progress; both were emergency in nature. So you could say I’ve seen it all, been through it all. And I’ve seen other mama’s go through it all and then some; and I’ve seen some take less than stellar care of themselves afterwards (myself included!).

So, how do you have the comfiest first days/weeks possible? Here are my top, tried and true picks for having the comfiest days after:

1. Frozen Peas and Refrigerated Witch Hazel Pads – If you’ve had a vaginal delivery, they are likely going to suggest you ice yourself a few times a day for the first few days. Might I introduce my best friend: a bag of frozen peas. Yep. Wrap them in a thin kitchen towel and use that instead of ice or frozen pack. It molds nicely to your body without any pesky sharp edges. I keep a bag in my freezer labeled “MEDICAL” (so we don’t cook them after they’ve been out several times to ice someone). We use them for head bonks, banged knees, etc as well. Then, take a tub of medicated pads; either witch hazel or hemorrhoid pads and put them in the fridge. As your layer up your pad each time you go to the bathroom, line these on the top of your pad where they will come in contact with your body. They soothe and help reduce pain and swelling. Seriously, sent from heaven!

2. Water – chug it, chug it, then chug some more. Whether or not you are breastfeeding, you need more water than you might think. I carry a handled jug with a lid and straw; keep it next to my bed at night so as baby is feeding, I am hydrating. Drink it up!!

3. Gentle Walking – this one is especially helpful if you’ve had a c-section. The last thing you want to do is walk, but try to do it a few times a day. Nothing major – just down the hall and back once or twice. Getting your body moving will help all your other systems moving and will speed the healing process. Just don’t overdo it like I did. The day after I got home from my first c-section I took a 20 minute walk around the block. I was feeling good, and going a bit cabin crazy, so I got out. By the time I got back I was wrecked and it took a couple of days to rebound. So try to find the balance.

4. Stool Softeners – Ask for them in the hospital/birth center if they are not offered to you. They really will work wonders. If you don’t want to take a medicinal stool softener, try drinking a cocktail of warmed prune juice mixed with apple juice once a day. You might also try yogurts that help the digestive process. But believe me, the last thing you want to do after pushing a baby out, or having a c-section, is worry about the dreaded first poo – and I’m not talking about baby’s!

5. REST – I saved this for last because I think it is the most important. Rest, rest, rest. More than you think you need to, more than you think you should. Sleep when the baby sleeps. Accept help from friends and family to bring meals, wash dishes, or even watch the baby an hour so you can sleep. Don’t go grocery shopping the day you come home from the hospital. Don’t try to be Susie Homemaker so your house is sparkling for guests coming to gush over baby. Don’t feel you have to entertain – or even accept – said guests! Better to rest too much (as if there is such a thing) now, than to do too much and burn out and end up in the hospital with heavy bleeding, a torn incision, or severe sleep deprivation. Your only priorities these first few days and weeks is taking care of yourself, and that sweet baby – yes, in that order.

I could go on and on, but these are my top 5 most favorite ways to make those first days and weeks home with baby the comfiest possible. How about you? What things helped you be the comfiest after baby came along?

Blessings,

Jen