I recently wrote an article about a unique situation I am encountering in my marriage. It has been such a striking experience for me, I wanted to share my discoveries with other wives. Even with such a short life span of a little over a week, that specific article has become my most popular blog post to-date. The title may be catching, but my hope is that wives really capture the message I am sharing and the impact a single word can have on marriage.
You can read that article by clicking the title linked here:
The one word that has changed my marriage is “No.” I never realized just how often I tell my husband no. Whether it is a simple little task or an invitation to cultivate sexual intimacy…
I decline, I refuse, I push away, I justify, I just say no…
Most of the time this powerful word slips out quicker than I actually think about the request or invitation. I just respond. I am a busy woman, a busy wife, a busy mom…but sometimes I use my “busy” life to justify why I don’t want to do something. However, if I am not intentional about balancing my emotions and how I feel from one moment to the next my marriage will suffer…my marriage has suffered. And if my marriage suffers, so does the whole family.
I never knew the negative impact that word was making on my marriage, until The Lord ask me to stop saying it. Avoiding the word no has been incredibly challenging and extremely difficult. I constantly fail and I am constantly praying for God to transform this part of my heart.
Since my commitment to stop saying no, my husband told me he feels more respected. I never knew I was disrespecting him. He also told me he feels like I am much more nice and easier to talk to. I never knew I was being mean or cold. He also explained that our overall marriage has seemingly improved as well as our sexual intimacy. My eyes have been opened. My heart understands.
I desire to be a “Yes Wife!” I want to be a wife who supports and helps her husband when he makes requests and I want to be a wife willing to join in the adventure of marriage and the amazing opportunities we have in life.
God has also been showing me how my response towards my husband influences my child. The more my son matures, the more he will express the behavior he has learned by watching Mommy and Daddy. My desire for my son is to learn how to use the word no at appropriate times and not just as a response to use towards his parents, his friends, or eventually if he marries, his wife. I want him to learn the power and love wrapped up in the word YES! Because love does!
Although this has been a difficult area for me to change, I really appreciate the fact God asked me to change. I value His leadership because it is not only wise, but by intentionally balancing my emotions, my desires, and my responses towards my husband it is tremendously blessing my marriage. I want to extend the same challenge to you, especially if you are a wife like me that struggles with laziness, selfishness, and hates being inconvenienced. I challenge you to be a YES WIFE and to bring balance to your marriage by stop saying the word “no” to your husband! And watch how this one word has the power to change your marriage and balance it for the better!
Ready. Set. Go!
- Jennifer Smith Unveiledwife.com
This post is part of our series Finding Balance as a Busy Mom.
Please check the series page for all of the posts!