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When Emotions Become Sinful & Better Mom Monday’s Link-up!

Cultivating Godly Emotions

For five years his story has haunted me, a story tucked quietly away in a big book about ancient kings and wars and disasters. His is a story of legacy.

For hundreds of years his actions were followed by an entire nation. And his legacy? Idolatry.

Yet buried in the annuls of I Kings we read the astonishing account of how Jeroboam’s idolatry was birthed in fear. God had promised him the kingdom, yet his fear of losing it drove him to take matters into his own hands. Fear led to control and control lead to idolatry.

It became his legacy.

Jeroboam’s story has haunted me because in it, I see how one out-of-control emotion led an entire nation into idolatry for hundreds of years. Jeroboam’s fear corrupted his leadership and crippled his calling. By giving in to fear, Jeroboam set an evil precedent for succeeding kings, even long after he was gone.

We can only imagine what would have happened if, instead of following fear, Jeroboam had clung to God’s promise. What if he had lived by faith, not feeling?

Jeroboam’s legacy of out-of-control emotions is timely for us. In this day of despair and fear and rage and depression and insecurity, we need to know that our emotions can be brought under the Lordship of Jesus Christ and the truth of His Word.

God created us in His image and that includes our capacity for emotions. Emotions are not bad or sinful in and of themselves; but like everything else, they are affected by the fall. II Peter 1:4 tells us that by Christ’s blood, we are partakers of His divine nature. This means that we can partake of His emotional nature as well and can experience godly emotions. Take a look at Galatians 5:22-23 to see what some of those look like. As a side note, according to Brian Borgman, the most frequent emotion mentioned in the Bible is joy ( i.e.”rejoice”).

Scripture teaches that we are not to be controlled by our emotions but rather our emotions are to be controlled by the Spirit of God.

This became very real to me when God graciously showed me how many of my daily decisions were being driven by how I felt, especially by the feeling of being overwhelmed. He gently but painfully showed me that by placing too high a priority on my feelings of exhaustion, I was not being diligent in serving my family with excellence, I was not reflecting God’s strength and character to those around me, I was failing to attempt the good works God had called me to do, and I was laying a faulty emotional foundation in my children’s lives.

Pretty serious stuff.

It was a liberating moment when I realized this, however. Knowing that I did not have to be in bondage to the feeling of fatigue set me free. I confessed it as sin to God and to my family and I began learning from Christ. I’m still learning and practicing what He reveals to me in this area of godly emotions.

Here are some key truths that help me get a grip:

 1. Emotions are strong but they need not be sovereign.

This one little nugget of truth is what saves me from the slippery slope of out of control emotions. Only God is sovereign and I can choose to place my emotions under His authority.

2. Emotions need truth to direct them.

Physiologically, emotions are a result of our thoughts. Emotions are best controlled by renewing the mind with truth.

3. Knowing my proclivity to certain emotions means I can be pro-active in controlling them.

For example, I know that I am easily overwhelmed. I also know that God promises sufficient grace at all times for every good deed. So I have identified several truths, like the promise of God’s sufficiency, that I constantly renew my mind with. Bringing truth to the forefront of my mind keeps my emotions grounded and where they need to be.

If you would like more in-depth practical help, join me at my blog for an upcoming series on cultivating godly emotions. This series is intended to help develop discipline in our emotions by looking at biblical truth. I will be drawing from scripture as well as looking at what others like Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Elizabeth Elliott, and Brian Borgman have to say about the role of emotions in the believers life.

We really can leave a legacy of godly emotions!

Read Jeroboam’s story here: I Kings 11:28-40 and I Kings 12:25-31.

Blessings,

Arabah Joy

Arabah Joy and her family have served as missionaries to East Asia for the past eleven years. She is married to Jackson and they have four children, both adopted and biological. She has authored a guide on how to increase energy as well as a newly released eBook on living Complete in Christ. Mostly though, she is a broken woman redeemed. She writes about God’s sufficiency to transform at Arabah Joy.

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Who Is There to Shoulder a Mom’s Stress? {Giveaway}

Help for Women Under Stress

One doctor and stress lecturer has said that the most overstressed person in our society is the mother of small children. Our counseling experience, our family experience, and our conversations with many women confirm this. The woman who is mother and wife doesn’t simply live with her own stress. She carries the weight of secondhand stress, inherited from her husband and children. Whether they work outside the home or not, it’s no wonder today’s women are under stress.

Consider a study done on what are called the “11 high-stress jobs.” The list in order is: Doctor/Nurse, Farmer, Teacher, Firefighter, Combat Soldier, Air Traffic Controller, Restaurant Manager, Stockbroker,Probation Officer, Accountant, and Salesperson.

An article called “The Most Stressful Jobs of 2012” featured these: Enlisted Soldier, Firefighter, Airline Pilot, Military General, Police Officer, Event Coordinator, Public Relations Executive, Corporate Executive, Photojournalist, and Taxi Driver.

Don’t the jobs on both those lists, cumulatively, sound remarkably like the job of a mom? She is health worker and nurse to her children, and often her husband. She is teacher, restaurant manager, waitress, taxi driver, police officer, accountant, and yes, sometimes combat soldier.

But at the end of the day, who is there to take on a woman’s struggles, to fight her battles, heal her wounds, listen to her cries? We’ve found that many women aren’t fortunate enough to have sensitive and supportive husbands, or appreciative and helpful children. Even those who do sometimes find themselves feeling misunderstood, alone, afraid, and exhausted.

Then who can shoulder the stress of today’s woman? The answer cuts to the very heart of Help for Women Under Stress, the very heart of coping with stress. It is an answer secular books on stress inevitably ignore.

Read carefully:

“Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

Who is this “he” who cares for you? God. The God who cared enough to go to the cross for you, who has seen you at your worst and still loves you. The God for whom you need not perform or achieve, just be. The God who knows all, governs all, and weaves all together for your good.

He is the architect, engineer, and builder of all that is you: “Your hands shaped me and made me…. Remember that you molded me like clay” (Job 10:8–9). As your designer He knows you as well as a potter knows his vase or an author his book. He knows you thoroughly and intimately. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you” (Jeremiah 1:5).

How does all this relate to stress?

Nanci’s father was a structural engineer. He understood how much stress a beam can take, and made sure that he never gave it a load that exceeded its capacity.

God is our structural engineer. He knows our needs. He knows our load-bearing capacity, our limits. He allows us to live under stress, yes, but never lays upon us a load greater than what He made us to bear.

We encourage women under stress to learn to pace their race, and throughout their days, all the seasons of their lives, to look to God as their Creator and Redeemer. Jesus came that we might have abundant life, not just in Heaven but on earth. This is not prosperity theology; it’s simply believing that in the midst of a world under the Curse God is serious when He commands us to “Rejoice in the Lord always.”

So it’s fair for a woman to ask how rich and rewarding her life is, and how much joy she’s experiencing day to day. It’s fair to ask how much richer and more rewarding life could be with a daily maintenance plan for the body, soul, and spirit God has entrusted to her care. God made only one of each of us. We should budget ourselves and spend ourselves wisely, for God’s glory.

Help for Women Under Stress by Randy and Nanci Alcorn is available from Eternal Perspective Ministries in paperback and as an ebook.

Giveaway:  We have three copies of Help for Women Under Stress to giveaway here at The Better Mom.  To enter join the Rafflecopter below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

Randy and Nanci Alcorn with MaggieAbout Randy and Nanci Alcorn

Randy Alcorn is a New York Times bestselling author of over forty books (including Heaven, The Treasurem Principle and Safely Home) and the founder and director of Eternal Perspective Ministries (EPM), a nonprofit ministry dedicated to teaching the principles of God’s Word and assisting the church in ministering to people around the world.

Randy and Nanci were married in 1975. They reside in Gresham, Oregon and have two married daughters and are the proud grandparents of five grandsons. Randy enjoys biking, tennis, research, and reading. Nanci enjoys reading, exercising their Golden Retriever Maggie, watching pro football, and traveling with Randy. They both love spending time with their family.

Savoring the Moments

I lie next to him, snuggling and enjoying the feel of his damp hair against my cheek. This nightly ritual is just a story and a prayer, but it warms me down deep in my soul. Lying there with his blue fire truck quilt pulled up to our chins, we talk about the day. He voices his worries and fears.He talks about his plans and hopes. I pray a gospel prayer and remind him of God’s unending love.

“Mom, I wish you could stay here tonight for a sleepover” he said.

My son is five and no longer a baby. He’s my second and last; I’ll have no others. It is nights like these that I wish time could slow down and even stand still.
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Lying there, I think about his sweet days as a baby. I wince in regret at the moments I missed while suffering postpartum darkness his first year of life. I love that he prefers to be by my side, that he still loves his blankie, and that he gives near deadly bear hugs. And I think about that fact that he and I are similar in many ways, both shy, sensitive souls.

I’ve heard many times from friends who’ve walked this road before me, “Appreciate the moments you have, they grow up too fast.” In those early days of infancy, the hours seem to go by at a crawl. Time is especially slow during those midnight hours when they wake up every three hours. I couldn’t wait for my boys to get older so they would sleep past five in the morning. During the trying seasons of potty training and toddler tantrums, I looked forward to my boys maturing and being more independent. Now my youngest plays soccer and reads books and I look back and realize how fast the time has gone.

Too often, I have rushed through my days, looking forward to the end of the day. I’ve longed for quiet moments to myself. I’ve wished my kids would play together quietly so I could get a few things done. But as the time goes by, I realize that I’m missing moments with them that I’ll never get back. I don’t want to wish I had left those loads of laundry to fold for another day and instead played a game with my boys. I don’t want to wish I had just closed my computer and read a book to them. And I don’t want to wish I had set my to-do list aside to just be with my children.

Because the sad truth is, before I know it, all I’ll have are quiet moments to myself.

Recently, my youngest decided he was too old for kisses. There’s no way of knowing that each day I might be witnessing a “last time” in my children’s lives. When I rush through my life and don’t appreciate the moments, many “last times” will fly by without my notice. If I knew that today was the last time my youngest would ask to sit on my lap, would I cherish it more? If I knew that it was the last time he would run for his blanket when he was sad, would I appreciate it more? If I knew it was the last day he would want me to snuggle with him at night, would I stay longer?

“You know what Ian?”

“What?”

“This is my favorite time of day. I love reading to you and praying with you each night.”

He hugs me tight and rubs his face against mine, growling like a bear. I stay longer than usual, enjoying the moment.

Before I leave he says, “You know what mommy?”

“What?”

“When you lay on my pillow, you make it so hot. It feels like it is on fire!” He grumbles and flips his pillow over to the other side and waits for me to pull the covers up.

I chuckle and appreciate even this moment, savoring it, because this night might just be one of those “last times.”

Blessings,

Christina

 

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Christina Fox is a homeschooling mom, licensed mental health counselor, writer, and coffee drinker, not necessarily in that order. She lives in sunny S. Florida with her husband of sixteen years and their two boys. You can find her sharing her faith journey at To Show Them Jesus and on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ToShowThemJesus

A Special {FREE} Invitation: Learn How To Make Good Money Blogging From Home!

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I’ll just start by saying it straight out – Blogging is a great way to earn an income from home.  As a mom speaking to other moms, let me tell you that using a blog to make money can be a very real possibility for you.

Even as a stay-at-home mom with little ones.

Honestly – if I can do it, you can, too!

My Story – The Very Short Version

A few years ago, shortly after our second baby was born, I was introduced to the idea of earning an income through blogging.  What followed was a period of a lot of researching, learning, making mistakes, and growing as I started several blogs, seeking to earn an income from home (all during nap times and around taking care of two toddlers!).  I had always planned to stay at home when we had kiddos, but with my Type-A personality and entrepreneurial spirit, the idea of running a home business was always at the back of my mind.

As I continued along my blogging journey, God laid it on my heart to reach out to other moms, like myself, who also wanted to stay at home with their kids, but needed to bring in some extra income, too.  Through that desire, He allowed me to launch my blog, Blogelina, and our now very popular, Profitable Blogging For Beginners Online Class.

What God Has Done – And Continues To Do Through Blogelina!

Now as the mom of three little ones, my days are full.  I blog as I can in the early morning hours, during nap times, and in the evenings.  And I love it.  God has blessed me in so many ways through this blogging journey – not only financially, but in teaching me more about His care, His greatness, and how I can do nothing worthwhile apart from Him.  He’s allowed me to meet and help hundreds of bloggers get their start with blogging – and the amazing journey continues…

Let me tell you – If God is in what you’re doing, prepare to be amazed.  We truly serve a Great God.

What About YOUR Story?

If you’re wondering if blogging might be something that you could do, I’d love to have you join my online blogging class!  There’s no obligation on your part – just come, check it out, learn some things, and meet some amazing people!

Whether you’re brand new to blogging and don’t know where to begin – or you’ve been blogging for a while but you would like to take your blog to the next level – this class can help!

Profitable Blogging For Beginners – Take My Online Class For FREE!

I’d love to invite each of you The Better Mom readers to take my 4-week blogging class — for FREE! This online class will be held in May 2013.

If you sign up for this free class, here’s what you’ll get:

  • A class manual – packed with 60 pages of information that will help take the overwhelming out of starting your own blog
  • 4 weekly online class sessions where you can ask your questions and get personalized feedback
  • A FREE year of web hosting.
  • Blueprints, step-by-step tutorials, networking with other bloggers - Everything you need to grow your blog.
  • Save yourself a lot of time, trouble, and money – learn from my own experiences what to do and not to do.

Go here to sign up for the FREE 4-week blogging class.  

Business woman with arms folded

 

Tanya is the ordinary wife and mother of three littles 5 and under – who loves to see God do extraordinary things.  Her passion is to come alongside and encourage other moms, particularly as they seek to stay at home with their little ones.  At Blogelina, Tanya shares blogging advice, tips, and inspiration to help other bloggers start and maintain their own successful blogs.

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